Kill a dream

Granted, but now every time they try to have a car lap the track, there ends up being some great chse between Blofeld's men and the Stig, and we never find out the time.

I wish I had a MG ZT like ^^^'s dad.
 
Granted, it spontaneously combusts upon arrival.

I wish I was Lewis Hamilton.
 
Granted, but America doesn't really stop "being lame", and the US government is bought out by China.

I wish the bottom hadn't fallen off of my jar of strawberry jam, so that I can have a muffin.
 
Granted, you realise that you were holding the jar upside down, and turn it rightside up... only to have the lid and jam fire into your face because the jam was so old that it fermented.

I wish I could go home now...
 
Granted, but when you arrive home, a pack if squirrels are resting under your bed (they got in after you left the back door ajar), and they attack you in your sleep.

I wish I'd get a phone call with good news.
 
http://img87.imageshack.**/img87/7070/farnsworth11hj.jpg

Good news everyone! You've just been sent on a stupidly dangerous mission to Nereid!

I wish I didn't have a girl's username.
 
Granted, but Nereid is the name of an infamous homosexual.

I wish Nereid's Wikipedia page, User:UnusualGazelle, would implode :p
 
Granted, but I become Jimbo and as revenge, hire an elite troop of vandals lead by WoW to deface your very name. You are now known as Mr. Tinkles, and "u likez men lolz."

I wish I never told anyone about my Wikipedia page.
 
Granted, but you become the most ignored and unloved user on Wikipedia, and you get depressed.

I never contribute much anyways.

Oh, and granted, the internet gets Om Nom Nommed and you now have to find other things to do.

I wish I could get this essay done.
 
Granted, but you receive a horrible grade, go on to take the worst GCSEs and no A Levels, fail those, and then fail life.

I wish I had a better job.
 
You do. But you don't get paid for it.

I wish the delicious sandwich I'm about to pay for was half-price today. I'd be okay with only getting 1/2 a sandwish for that price, because their sandwiches are too big anyways. I know people who get 3 meals from 1 sandwich.
 
Granted, you only get 1/10th of a sandwich.

I wish I had a wish.
 
Granted, only your wish is the one below:

Nereid wishes that he becomes a really fat and incredibly stupid oaf.
 
Granted! Wait nothing happened! Oh I wonder why!

I wish for postive rep!
 
Granted, your legs are chopped off at the thigh.

I wish I had Alok's mad skillz at getting hot women to ask him too take photos of them nekkid.
 
Granted, but all the hot women turn out to have massive bush and gross nipples.

I wish my knee would stop hurting.
 
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