Wacky Races is coming...are you in?

[Richmondgal]

BREAKING NEWS!

 

[PaperBiro]

President Obama reiterates on claim, US remains neutral
Washington DC (REUTERS)
Following angry protests with letters released claiming President Obama to offer his support for the newly-formed Gro?reich, President Obama reiterated today claiming the US as a nation still remains neutral. Speaking at a press conference this Saturday, "if Team Feraname wishes to form an alliance, we're obliged by law to offer any possible help we can get. All the teams based in the US will also be given the same support."

Commonwealth of Nations and China to join forces with EU
London, UK (REUTERS)
In an emergency meeting gathered here today in London, representatives from all 53 states belonging to the Commonwealth of Nations met to discuss action on the emerging World War. An agreement was made to recognise the Gro?reich as a threat to the well-being of the Commonwealth, and for every state to do all they can to prevent the spread of Gro?reich idealism. Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao later announced China's support for the growing "Entente Forces", citing economic partner India's involvement in the Commonwealth, and also "the facial similarities between Count Wilheim Von Smythe and Hideki Tojo. Heh heh, he looks funny."

Wacky Races route to be rerouted to neutral territory
Members from the World Finalgear Council met here today to discuss possible new routes to allow an even playing field for all the competitors. The new route is being kept secret until the race start in order to prevent invasion for any of the states involved.

 

[darkshark0159]

Strife in Entente Forces causes India to withdraw
LONDON (Reuters) - The alliance between the EU, the Commonwealth, and China, quickly becoming known as the "Entente Nations", has suffered a blow today as India has withdrawn citing rapidly dropping Sino-Indian relations. Earlier this year, Chinese sources reported that two Chinese destroyers and an anti-submarine helicopter engaged in a half an hour naval stand off against an Indian submarine. The report said that Chinese destroyers forced an Indian submarine to surface off Somalia waters after it tried to test Chinese sonar systems for weaknesses. The Indian vessel then apparently left without further confrontation. On 2 May, India discovered a severe Chinese infiltration of their internal security force. India was livid, and issued several threats and warnings to the Chinese government. Finally, India has now withdrawn from the Allied Nations as the conflict with China has become too great. ?

Ameribritstralia being considered for Final Gear Wacky Race
NYLON (Reuters) - The citizens of Nylon may be in for another rough year, after secret documents concerning the Final Gear Wacky race leaked today. Due to the current war progressing across the world, race officials are looking for neutral territory to route the race through. Ameribritstralia is high on the list due to its neutral status, weak police force, and incredible variance in driving roads. ?

 

[PaperBiro]

I decide what my alliance is called thank you very much.

The "Entente Nations" sounds good.

 

[vikiradTG2007]

Team Espace F1 has announced a new re-location of its base. This time, the base has been moved from deepest Siberia into deepest Nepal. Without any contribution fron any government.

 

[PaperBiro]

This just in: China invades Nepal

Nah, only joking.

 

[darkshark0159]

The "Entente Nations" sounds good.

Sorry, I missed that bit on Reuters. I had to call them something... you're lucky it wasn't dirty c**ts

 

[PaperBiro]

you're lucky it wasn't dirty c**ts

I can just imagine what our slogan would be: "Invade us... and you'll regret it."

 

[darkshark0159]

Fighting erupts in South China Sea
KOLKATA (Reuters) - Fighting erupted between Indian and Chinese forces in the South China Sea today, shortly after India withdrew from the Commonwealth of Nations and the Entente Forces. Apparently an Indian ship claimed to be in international waters, and confirmed it using their GPS system, but Chinese forces claimed they were well within Chinese territorial waters. China scrambled MiG fighter jets to warn the Indians, but one of the MiG fighters was mysteriously lost. China was left with no choice but to attack India, and a battle developed. The Gro?reich issued a statement condemning China for reckless behaviour, and offered support to India. Emperor Vom Smythe told the Indian PM in a teleconference, "We must keep fighting so that tomorrow never dies." ?

India in two-front war with China and Pakistan, calls on the Gro?reich
GENEVA (Reuters) - India is feeling the stress of a multi-front war now that they are at odds with the Entente Alliance, after going to war with China. Pakistan, a member of the Entente Alliance, has launched an attack on the western front in India in order to reduce India's focus on China. The two sides have pledged not to utilise nuclear weapons "for now". Upon the second attack, the Indian government went in to talks with the Gro?reich Council on forming an alliance. Sightings of Gro?reich ships near the tip of India have been confirmed, and it is highly likely the Zentralkr?fte will form. ?

UPDATE: Zentralkr?fte forms, Gro?reich promises technology, funding; India promises manpower

 

[nouseferaname90]

Obama drunk when stated that the United Stares was neutral
Washington DC (Reuters)
President Obama admitted that he was drunk when he stated that the United States would remain neutral. He had apparently forgotten about the alliance made earlier, proposed by Team Feraname, and approved by himself. There was an earlier Reuters article that claimed that the US would give equal support to all teams. President Obama stated that this was untrue. "No other team is directly supported by the government. I like this Von Smythe guy, and I like the initiative of Gro?reich. As a result, I support Team Feraname more than the others". According to reports and random polls, the American public seems to like the alliance as well. Congress, the house, and the supreme court approved it yesterday.

 

[darkshark0159]

^Time to take bets on how many more times the US will switch sides... :lol:

 

[Cryptopygia]

https://pic.armedcats.net/a/am/amtgman/2009/05/03/DSRacingposter.png

 

[darkshark0159]

I assume it has training wheels?

 

[Cryptopygia]

^ Nope, we stuck some small skateboard wheels in an otherwise empty space in the frame.

 

[FDaihatsu]

Hand crank installed! Only thing left is to develop my right arm's muscles, and there's only one way to do that...

 

[Lupin_IV]

Hand crank installed! Only thing left is to develop my right arm's muscles, and there's only one way to do that...

So if we need to find you, you'll be browsing /s/?

 

[PaperBiro]

Von Smythe Gets Drunk, posts fake publicity article
Gro?reich (REUTERS)
The media today was in awe after it was leaked that Count Wilheim Von Smythe paid British broadsheet newspaper The Independent of President Obama being drunk upon the announcement of the United States being neutral. It was later discovered by an insider who works for the paper that Von Smythe himself was drunk during the bribe, and therefore forgetting just because it's written on paper doesn't make it true. CCTV footage shows the dictator wasting the night at the local bar The Stag & Doe, where the employees affectionately call him Smithy.

Team KUIPER Racing release Driver and Staff line-up

Team KUIPER is proud to release details of our Summer 2009 staff package.

First Driver: Clay Alcata

A skilled circuit racer, Clay has been serving as a driver for partner team Team DSRacing for the past two years, and on both occasions has proven himself as a more-than-capable racer. Clay was the result of experimentation at a specialised and classified branch of the U.S. military for developing Biological Weaponry. In the 1980s during the Cold War President Reagan ordered the construction an army of giant size-shifting supercats, and Clay was one of the kittens subject to the experiment. However, for reasons still unknown his body failed to react necessarily for the changes to occur. By his 19th birthday, Clay entered the world of motor racing, and quickly moved up the ranks up to where he is today.
Full article here: http://wiki.finalgear.com/wiki/DSRacing

Second Driver: Sebastien Loeb

Sebastien Loeb is a 5-times WRC champion and often considered one of the greatest drivers of all time. Currently driving for Kronos Total Citroen, the Frenchman has dominated the sport since 2004 and with this year's impressive 5-consecutive wins this is set to continue. Originally a gymnast, Loeb turned his interests into racing in 1998 and in 2001, entered and won the Junior World Rally Championship dominating the competition winning 5 out of the 6 stages.

Test Driver: Jean Alesi

Having retired in 2001, Jean Alesi is considered by some as one of the best drivers never to win a Formula One Championship. Known for his fairly agressive driving style, Alesi spent 5 years driving for Ferrari, where an unreliable and difficult car meant a championship record of only 5th, before moving onto the Renault-powered Benetton F1 team. In 2004, he and Sebastien won the world-famous Race of Champions.

Technical Director: Sergei

Sergei was the head of the principal design group for the Soviet Space Program in the 1980s, and the highlight of his career was personally designing the MirKat Space Station. Today, Sergei works as the Head of IT for Comparethemeerkat.com, and now the latest venture in his career is as Team KUIPER Racing's Technical Director. No-one knows his last name. Some believe he forgot it in a history of guilt and betrayal after he was forced to leave his home country under a new identity, others say he just forgot it. He's 81 you know. Or something like that. He won't tell us.

Chief Designer: Loic Bigois

Loic Bigois works as Chief Aerodynamicist for the already successful Brawn GP Racing Team. His motorsports engineering career began when he was recruited by the Ligier F1 team in 1990, and later became Chief Designer for Prost F1 in 2002. To give an idea of how dedicated this man is, on the official Brawn GP website he lists his only hobby as "Wind Tunnel Testing". See for yourself.

Pitboard Manager: Marcus Radford

Following the sudden unexplained disappearance of our previous Pitboard Manager Barry Scott *ahem*nowedidn'tsacrificehimtoJessieafterhisincessantshoutingstartedtogetannoying*ahem*, we then decided to employ some random bloke off the street. Despite his lack of experience, he's a pretty good speaker. So he'll do fine.

Dalek Advisor: The Doctor

The British M15 intelligence agency were very keen to introduce us to this man, who calls himself simply "The Doctor". We've never heard of him. But apparently he knows how to get the best out of our Dalek (who until now we've never heard of either) army. One thing we do know though is, he's doing it for the "greater good". We agree with him on that one.

 

[nouseferaname90]

The Last Article Untrue
Gro?reich (Reuters)
Reuters would like to apologize for the confusion. It seems as if a disgruntled worker posted a report claiming that Von Smythe made up the rumor. This is untrue. The United States still supports Team Feraname (government run team), and the alliance with Gro?reich still stands. Once again, sorry for the mistake.

 

[racingfan1]

Given the hostilities in Europe and Asia, we at Team RF1 are giving out an open invitation to any Wacky Race participants who have no part in the war to come on over, sit back, and watch the fireworks. Our Star Wars defense platform is currently being maneuvered into position above the most dangerous areas so their cameras can catch all the action. We have also rendered the services of various spy planes, Gro?reich and Entente Nation soldiers, as well as civilians to carry video camers.

The war will be played all day, every day, until it's total conclusion.

Guests need only to bring their own seats, food, beverage and if needed, sleeping arangements will be provided.

If our footage is good enough, a full movie will be made of the war.

 

[darkshark0159]

The SUN would like to announce that it has acquired confidential video footage of Team VonSmythe running through a simulation of the race in their "?ber" top secret 3d virtual reality simulator. After the video has been processed by YouTube, it will be posted here for the world to see. Remember, The SUN is your ultimate source for scandals and top secret government info!