What do you get when you cross 34 years of higher education, 10 college degrees and six serious car geeks with a $500 racecar? A pink Miata with Cadillac fins and a nasty turbocharged attitude, of course.
This is Eyesore Racing's entry into this weekend's 24 Hours of LeMons event in Reno, Nevada. You might remember these guys and gals. Their pimp-themed Honda CRX handily won the People's Choice award at last year's LeMons event at Altamont Motorsports Park.
This marks the second appearance for their new car, previously known as the FrankenMiata. Its first run, an impressive 4th overall at the Arse-Freeze-Apalooza last December at Thunderhill Raceway Park in Willows, California, surprised everyone but Team Eyesore.
Since then, the Miata (we use the term loosely) has seen a full, ahem, refresh. That is, the degree-laden fools who build and drive this flaming pink pile slathered it in the sissy hue and gussied it up with some Cadillac fins and taillights. Why? Because they can. And because they like to win. And a Pink Cadillac and Elvis theme seems almost as brilliant as pimps and hos throttling a beat CRX.
Despite our insults, the team gave us an exclusive test of their pink beauty before its second outing. Clearly, this is no average Miatallac. The 1.6-liter Mazda engine is fed 3.5 pounds of boost via a hand-me-down turbocharger from a Mexican-market Dodge Stratus. The collective brain trust at Eyesore Racing realized that the crudest easiest turbo manifold in the world could be had simply by inverting the stock Mazda unit and building an adapter to the turbo.
Conveniently, this also solved any would-be packaging problems. With the turbo mounted 8 inches above the hood line, plumbing in a Ford Probe intercooler was as easy as it was ugly. The whole deranged mess is controlled by a rising-rate fuel pressure regulator and a magic mulletronics box that retards ignition timing once boost hits. The result is an additional 35 horsepower and 35 pound-feet of torque, bringing the total to 135 hp and 125 lb-ft. Not bad in a 2,020-pound package that costs less than a set of brake pads for an Evo.
Those of you familiar with turbo Miatas or, for that matter, physics, will appreciate Team Eyesore's next step. They put a huge-ass radiator where the passenger seat goes. Cooling air enters at the base of the windshield and where the door once resided and exits through holes in the rear shelf. The relocation serves a second purpose by keeping the radiator (we hear you need those in endurance races) out of the debris path common to LeMons racetracks. It is also, in combination with a clever coolant passage reroute, enough to keep the little stinker cool on the hottest days under the heaviest feet.
Other brilliant details include a functional airbrake on the trailing edge of the hood roof, a Volvo oil cooler complete with cardboard-fiber duct work and Falken Azenis rubber sized 195/60R14 at all four corners. The big brains on Team Eyesore figured it was time for an oil cooler and a new set of rod bearings after the engine spent 20 hours beating its rod bearings into blingy oil-filter jewelry.
So how's she run? Well enough to impress our cynical scribes. Let's just say that the 6.8 seconds (6.5 seconds with 1 foot of rollout like on a drag strip) the Miatallac required to hit 60 mph is 0.1 second quicker than the 2010 model MX-5 we tested recently. The quarter-mile arrived in 15.0 seconds at 90.7 mph - the same ET as the 2010 MX-5.
Handling was more impressive. Slithering through the slalom at 70.4 mph makes the Miata faster than a 2009 Porsche Carrera S Cabriolet. Road-holding, on heat-cycled, flat-spotted rubber, was better than other $500 cars we've driven, at 0.89g. Braking, at 135 feet from 60, is 14 feet shorter than a 2009 Honda Pilot and that's without ABS and on those same crap tires.
So what we're saying is this: Next time you replace the brake pads on your Evo, remember the big brains driving the pink Eyesore Racing Cadillac Miata. They'll be the ones whooping your ass through Turn 9 and laughing all the way to the junkyard. -- Josh Jacquot, Senior Road Test Editor
