The Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag game

vikiradTG2007

vikiradTG2007

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Basically inspired by TG's latest "news" section and the Jaaaaaaaaaag bit. What you have to do is make up a statement about something that you allegedly did (doesn't matter whether in real life or in your imagination), and then integrate the Jaaaaaaaaaag excuse in it.


Only rule is: no NSFW content in your statements. Swearing is half-heartedly allowed, but anything over that is banned.

Okay, let's get this one underway!
 
In honour of the new av:

I'm terribly sorry that I was doing one-hundred-and-fifty miles per hour in my Jaaaaaaaag, officer, but I'm running late for the ferry to Calais. I'm sure you understand....
 
I'm terribly sorry about the broken window, but I have my Jaaaaag running out back. Must dash - I hope you understand.
 
"No i don't need a bag for that, i've got plenty of space in my jaaaaaaaag."
 
crap, i'm sorry i left without saying goodbye but i thought i heard someone breaking in my Jaaaaaaaaaag
 
"Dear, I'm terribly sorry I drove over you handbag and ruined your stuff... But I was so desperate to try out my new J?????????G!"
 
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Good evening officer, I am not intoxicated, I was merely testing out the handling on my new Jaaaaaaaag.
 
"Awfully sorry about your rat, ma'am..."

"It wasn't a rat, it was a Chihuahua!"

"Whatever, it can't really match the pleasure of a Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag".
 
Jag owner: What do you drive?
Other car owner: Well, I currently drive an Aveo
Jag owner: Wow. What a piece of crap
Other car owner: What?!? I'm sorry I cant afford anything better! Not everyone-
Jag owner: -I've got a Jaaaaaaaaaaaaag
Other car owner: cool!
 
"I'm terribly sorry for stepping on your daisies, I would drive you to the nursery in my Jaaaaaaag, but it's still in the shop."
 
Darling, I'm sorry I've kept you waiting for 2 hours, in the cold, while raining, at night, holding 3 crying kids, on the street, having a crisis, but I had to warm-up my Djaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag....
 
"I must apologize for backhanding your child. I had though he had something disrespectful about my Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag."
 
"Terribly sorry making your 17-year old daughter pregnant while testing the leather seats in my Jaaaaaaaaag sir."
 
"Pilot, sorry about you bashing your head on the dashboard on that landing."

"I'm sick of this kind of treatment. I quit."

"Well.. first let me take you to hospital to stitch that. And I'll take you there in my Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag."
 
Jag owner:Your honor, i was merely testing the ride quality in my Jaaaaaaag by running over my wife
judge: but you ran over your wife
Jag owner: i do believe you did not heard, Jaaaaaaaaaag
judge: NOT GUILTY
 
Sorry for running over your front garden, I was trying out the suspension in my Jaaaaaaaaaaag.
 
I'm sorry I ran over little Jimmy at the crossing, I was testing out the performance of my new car. It's a Jaaaaag, see.
 
Officer, you must be hearing things. There are no screaming noises coming from the boot of my Jaaaaaaaaaaaag.
 
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