James' cat

Here is another column that James wrote about Fusker. It's actually deals with how to feed him pills! :p

Link!

He is a free spirit, a neighbourhood cavorter with the stature of a small loaf and the heart of a lion, hairy-hearted confirmation that, as I've always suspected, the animals are not really our friends. I know he's in and out of everyone's house, and that he convenes with his cat chums on a garage roof in the afternoon to exchange notes on armchairs, radiators and who's roasting a chicken. For me, it's always been enough that, as night falls, he announces with the clunk of his cat flap that it is to my home that he returns to fulfil his role, correctly identified by Woman, as a furry reminder of human neediness.
Click to expand...
 
That reminded me that I had an interview somewhere that James once gave to Your Cat Magazine. I only have this as a Word document, so apologies for taking up so much space. It's cute though. :)

Your Cat Magazine
October 2005

'Top Gear' presenter James May is known for his interest in either very posh or very basic cars and it seems he has similar taste in cats.

Fusker had all the makings of a high society cat. He came from a respectable background and musical one at that; the ideal companion for piano playing James you might think.

Instead he spends most of his time picking fights, upsetting the neighbours or down the local pub. "It all seemed quite promising." says James. "I thought he's be quite sophistacated but it turns out that he is a bit of a pikey. He picks fights with everthing, including the iron, vacuum cleaner, cars and bikes. He's a little sh*t."

It was the wife of James' TV co-presenter, Richard Hammond, who initiated the unlikely partnership. Having spotted James' weakness for cats she sprang into action having heard a litter of kittens needed new homes.

"It is quite well known that I like cats and we had cats when I was a kid but I was slightly wary of having one of my own as they need looking after.

"I was quite keen on black cats and so I was given Fusker (his name came from an old friend who hated cats and called them all Fuskers, a play on another word I think) who is black with a white bib. He looks like he should be wearing a top hat ike Fred Astaire and driving a 1960's coach-built Bentley but he'd be more likely to have an Opel Manta with a loud stereo and big exhaust!"

Love him or loathe him. Living in Hammersmith in West London, James admits the neighbourhood is divided when it comes to Fusker.

"Some are very fond of hm and he often spends the days with the old dears down the road but the other section hates him because he jumps on their bird tables. He's a real community cat and he's always in and out of houses and has his favourite armchair in each. However he's a bit clumsy and likes to chase flies but instead if picking his way through vases and wine glasses he knocks them over. I've not trained him to be like this I just think he's ill-bred, he's a peasant."

Fusker also frequents the church, where he is known to sit and watch the verger polishing the brass, and also the local pub.

James says: "The pub is about 100 paces from my house and I'll go there most evenings to find him already there sitting at the bar!"

This is a far cry from the scaredy cat who after being kept in for weeks in the early days would just have a quick look around outside before running back in.

"I think I was just as worried as him," admits James. "I thought he might run onto the main road and get run over but he seems to have worked out where is safe and where isn't. I also worry about losing him as he like to get into people's cars, although he hates them when they're moving. If I'm washing the car he'll climb in and curl up on the seat which is OK but the other day some guests were leaving a neighbour's house and he snuck into their car and nearly ended up in Leicester."

Soul Mates. While at times their relationship may be rather rocky, James does confess that he wouldn't be without 13 month-old Fusker.

"He's always biting me and having a go at me and is definitely not a lap cat but he's also quite comical. He looks thick because his eyes are quite close together but I'm besotted with him. I feel like I live in his house. When he wants feeding he biffs me with his head, or picks a fight or even sits on my shoulders but once I've fed him he'll bugger off. He seems to want to be with me but most of the time he keeps at arm's length. He also like to be with me when I'm playing the piano and he sits on it or under the still and if I play with the lid up he jumps inside and lies on the dumpers. Trouble is I don't realise until the notes stop working and then I have to fish him out.

"All in all he's not very loyal, he's a ruffian, he's not very bright or well-bred and he's not a very useful cat. However, he has the soul of a lion and I love him.

Copyright ? Angela Lowe, Your Cat 2005
Click to expand...
 
:love:
 
He has never passed me a spanner or written any of this column, except for a bit that went fasdfij ffeug djdvbv9821.
Click to expand...

:lol:
 
All in all he's not very loyal, he's a ruffian, he's not very bright or well-bred and he's not a very useful cat. However, he has the soul of a lion and I love him.
Click to expand...
AWWW
how cute!
 
I don't really like cats :p

First, they hunt and kill rats and mice, which I love dearly.
Second, they're scary.

last night when I sat by the computer, a cat sat outside my window and the only thing I could see was it's yellow eyes staring back at me.

totally freaked me out... I thought I was going to have nightmares :cry:
 
Here's a Top Gear Tip for all you single dudes out there: get yourself a cat and speak fondly of it in presence of any not-a-dude you fancy.
It won't work in all cases (Maarre), but judging from this thread your odds are pretty good. ;)
 
Last edited:
Given the success of this thread should I start one in the Fifth Gear Forum called VBH's Pussy?
 
LindenChase said:
Here's a Top Gear Tip for all you single dudes out there: get yourself a cat and speak fondly of it in presence of any not-a-dude you fancy.
It won't work in all cases (Maarre), but judging from this thread your odds are pretty good. ;)
Click to expand...

Absolutely! Guys seem to think it's uncool to like cats (well in Oz, but it seems here too). One of the (many) reasons i like James is that he doesn't care about being cool and isn't ashamed to admit he loves his moggy! :)
 
vicky has a pussycat? i thought she had a beaver suffering from severe case of camel toe.
 
LindenChase said:
Here's a Top Gear Tip for all you single dudes out there: get yourself a cat and speak fondly of it in presence of any not-a-dude you fancy.
It won't work in all cases (Maarre), but judging from this thread your odds are pretty good. ;)
Click to expand...

I dunno, I think boys should just be genuine. If I met a guy who claimed to love cats but was obviously indifferent to or annoyed by them once I got to know him better, I'd likely drop him. Dishonesty is a terrible thing.

I think it's sweet when any man fawns over any pet. Even Jeremy and his donkey.
 
spicysaurus said:
I dunno, I think boys should just be genuine. If I met a guy who claimed to love cats but was obviously indifferent to or annoyed by them once I got to know him better, I'd likely drop him. Dishonesty is a terrible thing.

I think it's sweet when any man fawns over any pet. Even Jeremy and his donkey.
Click to expand...

I didn't really like Jeremy that much until I found out how fond he was of his donkeys. Gave me a whole new prospective of the man and I warmed up to him. So LindenChase may be on to something.
 
Whenever I hear about Jeremy and his donkeys I can only think of the time he asked Jamie Oliver if he should eat his recently departed Geoffry.
 
If the subject turns to Jeremy and his donkeys I may be forced to come over all fangirly, and I don't do that here normally because I got into Top Gear back in the 80s because of the cars, not because the tall, lanky one with terrible mop of curly hair was hot :blush:

But as it happens, I do think donkeys might be my favourite animals... in the world.

But on the subject of Jeremy's ass donkeys, does anyone know what Eddie's companion is called? I know after Kristin Scott Donkey died the Clarksons got another one (because donkeys are social and shouldn't be kept alone), but I don't think I've ever heard it referred to by name.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top