The steering wheel in my Mercedes-Benz is not dead-center in front of the driver; It's a centimeter or two off to the the right. That's a bit annoying in what is supposedly the supreme example of the quest for automotive perfection.
Also, while I'm on the subject, there are a few things that they've made out of plastic which I think
really should have been made out of metal. But I suppose that in the late 60's plastic was something of a wonder material which was cheap, light and easy to make so I can't blame them for overusing it. It's mainly just little things though, like for example some of the exterior trim is held on by plastic clips that whither over time and break. A more major example would be the little thing that holds the window winding mechanism to the other bit of the thingy. When
that breaks the windows fall down. Lucky it doesn't rain in this country! Pretty much the only plastic part under the bonnet is the windshield washer fluid reservoir and guess what? It's the only thing under there that's broken.
For some reason, Mercedes-Benz elected to ship the cars to Australia without any seatbelts, figuring that they could just have them fitted here by a local company and to Australian standards or whatever... The problem is that the belts look out of place and are a bunch of ill-fitting
shit.
There is no demister on the rear screen.
There are no hazard lights.
The speedometers fail. So do the clocks. And the indicator stalks. And the central locking systems.
The swing axle causes irregular tyre wear and handling. At first you think it's understeering but then before you know it they're calling up dudes with yellow eyes to tell them there's a new liver available. And it's yours. Because you've been killed. By oversteer. And now they're harvesting your organs.
Oh Yeah!! The bloody strip of trim down the side that I mentioned earlier? They have these little plastic caps on the ends that fall off
the split second the car comes off the production line and that exposes the razor-sharp edge of the chrome strip. W108 owners all know about the holes in your pantaloons that this causes. Damn! The number of times I've been at a wreckers yard or whatever, going through the old W108's and 9's and had my pants torn open by those bloody strips! Now I have a dedicated pair of holey pants that I only wear when I'm working on the Mercedes-Benz.
The cigarette lighter doesn't work!
The carburettors are
unfathomable. And this one time? Leaking petrol onto the exhaust manifold!
People assume you are compensating for a small penis... which of course, I am... but it's still annoying.
No cup holders at all! Putting a McDonald's thickshake between your legs is fun in summer time but otherwise it just melts it faster.
The front grill rises with the bonnet and the first few times you work on it you forget this fact and you bonk your noggin on it as you step away. I dunno if you've ever bonked your noggin on a Mercedes-Benz but it's like when you clonk coconuts with a dog: Dog doesn't feel
shit but
you be all fucked up and dizzy for a half hour. That front grill is
solid, lemme tell ya... do not ever get run down by a W108 or 9 because it will
ruin your shit.
Dust gets into the boot.
The cassette player is after-market and it doesn't work. Not that it matters because the
speakers don't work. Not that that matters either because it's a fucking
cassette player! It would be nice to at least be able to listen to the radio but it's not like it matters because the aerial is rusted stuck into the collapsed, "down" position.
Did I mention the
fuel consumption? Because that seems like a glaring omission.
But the thing that annoys me the most is the fact that there's no auxiliary jack for my iPod. You
wankers.
