Your Horoscope..

Your Horoscope..


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Quiky

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This was unearthed in an old file from the 70s.. by construction workers... because of Parkinsons?

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18): You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over and over again. People think you are stupid.

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20): You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your associates and people resent you for your flaunting of your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19): You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are not very nice.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20): You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. Taurus people have B.O. and fart a lot.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bi-sexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Gemini people are known for committing incest.

Cancer (June 20 - July 22): You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That's why you'll never make anything of yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancer people.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22): You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leop people are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22): You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22): You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man, you are more than likely queer. Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most Libra women are good prostitutes. All Librans have venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21): You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because f your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpio people are murdered.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21): You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks or dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19): You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still too long as a dog might think you are a tree and piss on you.


 
This was unearthed in an old file from the 70s.. by construction workers... because of Parkinsons?

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18): You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over and over again. People think you are stupid.

<-------------------

It's all lies, I tells ya! :lol:
 
I'm a Virgo....

Yes, I am pedantic and OCD and that, but i don't consider my self boring in the sense that I have no sense of humour, I'm just boring in that i put everybody else around me to sleep by talking non-stop :lol:
Problem though- I'm going to be an accountant. That kinda contradicts what I just said about boredom....
 
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bi-sexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Gemini people are known for committing incest.

I object to cheap
 
Capricorns should avoid standing still too long as a dog might think you are a tree and piss on you.

This is true. :unsure:
 
Leo (July 23 - Aug 22): You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leop people are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves.


I am incredibly quiet and shy, my room does not even contain a mirror and I ask for crit on most everything I do. So yes major fail there.
 
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20): You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI.

Sure, I have a good imaginatory imaging center, but know that the powers that be don't have anything on me. NOTHING, I tells ya, NOTHING.

You have minor influence over your associates and people resent you for your flaunting of your power.

'scuse me?

You lack confidence and are generally a coward.

...oh piss off. One more insult like that, man... one more...

Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.

That's it, you, me, right now. Put em up, puuut eeem uuuup.
 
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21): You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks or dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.


That last line is true. I must be in the minority, though as I'm not drunk or dopey. I'm more pessimistic about stuff, but I did enjoy the demotivators that I put together in the TG forum. I'm just lucky most people enjoyed them as well.
 
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22): You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.

I never fall asleep after making love.

I simply bite their heads off before I dispose of the bodies.
 
So, you all participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality? ;)
 
That's from something and I can't remember what.
 
I'm a Virgo....

Yes, I am pedantic and OCD and that, but i don't consider my self boring in the sense that I have no sense of humour, I'm just boring in that i put everybody else around me to sleep by talking non-stop :lol:
Problem though- I'm going to be an accountant. That kinda contradicts what I just said about boredom....
Actually the most interesting person I ever knew was an accountant.

As for mine, I'm pretty sure I've never done any incest. I'll cop to being cheap though. And intelligent and quick witted.
 
I'm a Leo. It's all bullshit, apart from maybe the vain part. I have several full-length mirror in my bedroom. Okay, they came with the house but I do use them! :lol: I actually hate being in leadership positions and have no desire for it.

I've never watched Big Bang Theory. :|
 
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21): You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because f your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpio people are murdered.
\

Thats BS ;) i got no interest in business and have good ethics, doubt that I will be murdered...most likely a motorcycle accident..
 
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