Guys, this has been in my mind for quite a while now and I feel I must share it at all costs! After evaluating all the evidence, I have come to the conclusion that
Santa Claus is a paedophile.
Here's why:
- He does seem to really love children.
- He won't give "presents" to anyone above a certain age.
- He knows where you live.
- He knows whether you've been naughty or nice.
- Infact, he knows where all the naughty ones live.
- More than that, he knows when you've been sleeping. (Come to think of it, that song is really creepy...)
- He sneaks into your house in the middle of the night.
- All that stuff he leaves? That's just to give himself a good image so the public won't suspect him, and so he could blackmail kids into keeping silent if they happen to wake up while he's getting down to business.
- No-one seems to really know where he lives. Some say the North Pole, some say Lapland, QI says Turkey. (Or was it the British Museum? I can't remember.) That's because he's hiding from the police, who know he's actually a dirty kiddy-feeler but can't tell it to the public in fear of ruining the Christmas spirit.
- The only time he shows his face in public is at the shopping centres. He does this by hiring lots of imitation Santas to work as alibis in other shopping centres around the world so everyone assumes it's just a gimmick to keep children entertained.
- You see, he has a special reason for appearing at the shopping centre. There, little boys and little girls can sit on his lap.
- After asking them "what would you like little boy/girl?", he takes them to his "shack" away from the prying eyes of their parents.
CONCLUSION:
https://pic.armedcats.net/n/ne/nereid/2009/12/27/hfgfhfghgf_000.jpg