Woman says she became pregnant after watching porn in 3D [via joke site]

watching 3d porn together with freidns?
these new yorkers maintain interesting rectreational activities...
 
"It's like I was actually there, and the actual black guy was actually putting his actual penis in my actual vagina! So realistic! Technology!" says woman. Also:

 
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You know... in any other country I would consider that a late April fool's joke...

But in case of the USA, I believe it. Not that she conceived a child during a porn movie, but that it works as an excuse for her.

It may be a fake story but to me it sounds 100 % believable, because their is some weird stuff going on with Americans and sexuality, or rather sexual education :p

It might be a result of home schooling by a mother, who mysteriously has 11 childs for no reason whatsoever, because everyone knows, that you cannot get pregnant at full moon :lol:
 
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I love the "Say whaaaaat?!" expression on the baby's face :D
 
I became more intelligent after watching Fox News.
I became more sexy after watching Edwina Curry
I became more articulate after watching John Prescott
I became more brave after watching Brave Sir Robin. ...
I became more like a baboon after watching Black Adder
 
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MacGuffin said:
You know... in any other country I would consider that a late April fool's joke...

But in case of the USA, I believe it. Not that she conceived a child during a porn movie, but that it works as an excuse for her.

It may be a fake story but to me it sounds 100 % believable, because their is some weird stuff going on with Americans and sexuality, or rather sexual education :p

It might be a result of home schooling by a mother, who mysteriously has 11 childs for no reason whatsoever, because everyone knows, that you cannot get pregnant at full moon :lol:
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This. Everybody listen to the expert here.

I'd listen some more, but I need to sacrifice a few lambs to Karnayna, the Horned God, so that he may grant my wife fertility through her loins. Also, did you know if a woman pees standing up, she won't get pregnant because sperm flows downwards and away from the ovaries like Tony Stark's Arc Reactor? I learned something from my state-sponsored sex education class!
 
MacGuffin said:
You know... in any other country I would consider that a late April fool's joke...

But in case of the USA, I believe it. Not that she conceived a child during a porn movie, but that it works as an excuse for her.

It may be a fake story but to me it sounds 100 % believable, because their is some weird stuff going on with Americans and sexuality, or rather sexual education :p

It might be a result of home schooling by a mother, who mysteriously has 11 childs for no reason whatsoever, because everyone knows, that you cannot get pregnant at full moon :lol:
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Agreed. Silly fatass mcdonalds-munching Americans with their straight roads and cars that cant turn. Let's all point and laugh at them! Damn it, why cant we all be more like ze Germans?
 
I became pregnant after watching BlaRo... wait!

MacGuffin said:
You know... in any other country I would consider that a late April fool's joke...

But in case of the USA, I believe it. Not that she conceived a child during a porn movie, but that it works as an excuse for her.

It may be a fake story but to me it sounds 100 % believable, because their is some weird stuff going on with Americans and sexuality, or rather sexual education :p

It might be a result of home schooling by a mother, who mysteriously has 11 childs for no reason whatsoever, because everyone knows, that you cannot get pregnant at full moon :lol:
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This is how I remember sex ed "Here are some genitalia. Use condoms". I assume you are pretty familiar with the U.S. education system though.
 
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More facts from the nationwide American sex education agenda:

Did you know that if you have sex standing up, you can't get pregnant?

Did you know that if you have herpes, and you have sex with someone that also has herpes, the two herpes cancel themselves out?

Did you know that if you can feed a baby by sticking food up your butt? Carrots and celery are most popular, help builds night vision.

Did you know that you can perform a cheap abortion at home by pouring hot sauce in your bellybutton? It literally sets the fetus on fire. You may feel a stinging sensation.

Did you know that the grease used in McDonald's fries is an effective spermicide?

Did you know that if you pray to Jesus for a child, he can impregnate you instantly? (It also works on choirboys, but they are far more unsuccessful at producing children.)

Did you know that tampons are the Devil's machinations, and that condoms are part of the liberal, left-wing agenda to encourage sex in our 12-year olds?

Did you know that the Twilight series was produced by the American Family Association, and that Robert Pattinson is their spiritual leader who shall take them on a journey back to their homeworld once they've raised enough money from the sequels?

Did you know you can get pregnant from the following ways:
- kissing
- holding hands
- listening to rock music
- not attending church
- viewing a billboard for a sex shop
- walking past a sex shop
- encountering a man who later reveals that he has frequented a sex shop before
- eating a bagel that has been handled by a sex shop customer
- dreaming about Gene Shalit's fat, milky thighs

Thanks for this trip down memory lane, MacGuffin! Though seeing as you are the health curriculum director at Gloucester High School, you didn't need to be reminded of these facts.
 
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MacGuffin said:
You know... in any other country I would consider that a late April fool's joke...

But in case of the USA, I believe it. Not that she conceived a child during a porn movie, but that it works as an excuse for her.

It may be a fake story but to me it sounds 100 % believable, because their is some weird stuff going on with Americans and sexuality, or rather sexual education :p

It might be a result of home schooling by a mother, who mysteriously has 11 childs for no reason whatsoever, because everyone knows, that you cannot get pregnant at full moon :lol:
Click to expand...


Everything bizarre, especially sexually bizarre, happens in Germany or Florida it is a fact.


http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=germany or florida

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Loveline_games#Germany_or_Florida.3F

They were playing that game well before 2003 IIRC. Crap teh Wikkipedia is wrong.
argatoga said:
I became pregnant after watching BlaRo... wait!



This is how I remember sex ed "Here are some genitalia. Use condoms". I assume you are pretty familiar with the U.S. education system though.
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Lots of states don't even say anything about condoms anymore.

Thanks Right wing christian nut jobs.
 
argatoga said:
Did you deiced to go before or after BR's post? :wicked:
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The only parts of Florida worth saving are Orlando, mainly for Disney world but universal studios is ok too, and the keys. The rest can go back to the Spanish or be swallowed by the ocean for all I care. The highest point in Florida is only 340 some feet above sea level. We can just build walls around Orlando and the keys.
 
Now that is a money shot!


:drums:
 
British_Rover said:
The only parts of Florida worth saving are Orlando, mainly for Disney world but universal studios is ok too, and the keys. The rest can go back to the Spanish or be swallowed by the ocean for all I care. The highest point in Florida is only 340 some feet above sea level. We can just build walls around Orlando and the keys.
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Ahem....Busch Gardens.......ahem!
 
?I see it as suspicious. The films in 3-D are very real. With today?s technology, anything is possible ?he said.

Jennifer admits her marriage could be in trouble. ?Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk. But he knows I?m faithful? she said.
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son_i_am_disappoint.gif
 
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