The Joke Thread

That one really is older than the internet! I remember telling it to the regulars in the pub I worked in during my first Uni vacation, Christmas 1988! ;)
 
The England team went to visit an orphanage in Cape Town on Saturday morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible," said Jamal Umboto, aged 6.
 
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre

Iron Man is a superhero
Iron Woman is a command

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"

I tried :-(
 
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I went to a pro-domme and asked 'how much for humiliation?'
She replied ?37.00.
I thought that was very reasonable, so I paid up.
She gave me an England soccer shirt.
 
The guy in the crowd knows Bob but does not know the Pope! Bobs more famous than the Pope. I also took a small time to get it.
 
It falls into the category of a shaggy dog story. Goes on forever and at the end you realise that's several minutes of your life you'll never get back.
 
So I didn't get the job I was after. Having supplied them with a list of what I thought were my better qualities they asked for an example of good time management. :(

Apparently "premature ejaculation" wasn't the response they were looking for! ;)
 
Going on my second date tonight with this gorgeous Thai girl I met last weekend.

She just sent me a text saying she can't wait for me to suck her off! :D

Wait! Wut? :|
 
I've just phoned the police to tell them that Raoul Moat is in the morgue.

Apparently, I'm not eligible for the ?10,000 reward.
 
:lol:
?You must spread the cartridges around, before you can give rep to Jon again?
 
I think we've seen enough to trust Paul the Octopus with two boxes marked 'Israel' and 'Palestine'.
 
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