Stupid Driver Stories

[Blind_Io]

You could always get a Merkava.

 

[Spectre]

You know those Tomcar things? Well, recently I saw some idiot about my age who was driving one, and he took a corner at twice the speed I would have taken it in a normal car. I actually saw the two inside wheels lift up, it was funny almost as it was frightening. ;p

 

[Kiki]

To the fuckwit who intentionally cut me off this morning in Lane #2:

First, thanks for holding up Lane #1 after coming off the interchange. Both the blue civic in front of me and I thank you for that. You do know that that's the passing lane, aye?

Since you didn't seem to realize that the leftmost lane is for passing, I kindly moved to Lane #2 and proceeded on to my merry way.

But you didn't like that did you?

You just had to swerve violently in front of me with about a feet to spare in Lane #2 to prove your point (which I really don't understand, by the way). Did you really think that would do any good? Seriously? Well alrighty then - I'll just go back to Lane #1 to pass you son of a bitch.

Oh oh oh, but you didn't like that either did you? You saw me coming by, and you had to give me a "Take that!" nod and hand gesture, you middle-aged bald obese slug. I'm sorry, did you think it was your inherent right to enforce your own rules on the road?

So why don't you kindly fuck yourself in the ear with a limp dick and die in a fire? I promise you'll be doing the world a kind deed.

,

Kiki

 

[prizrak]

To the fuckwit who intentionally cut me off this morning in Lane #2:

First, thanks for holding up Lane #1 after coming off the interchange. Both the blue civic in front of me and I thank you for that. You do know that that's the passing lane, aye?

Since you didn't seem to realize that the leftmost lane is for passing, I kindly moved to Lane #2 and proceeded on to my merry way.

But you didn't like that did you?

You just had to swerve violently in front of me with about a feet to spare in Lane #2 to prove your point (which I really don't understand, by the way). Did you really think that would do any good? Seriously? Well alrighty then - I'll just go back to Lane #1 to pass you son of a bitch.

Oh oh oh, but you didn't like that either did you? You saw me coming by, and you had to give me a "Take that!" nod and hand gesture, you middle-aged bald obese slug. I'm sorry, did you think it was your inherent right to enforce your own rules on the road?

So why don't you kindly fuck yourself in the ear with a limp dick and die in a fire? I promise you'll be doing the world a kind deed.

,

Kiki

I think I'm in love

 

[Cowboy]

I think I'm in love

You know euhrmm........her boyfriend is quite big and drives an SUV, I also think he has a guncollection......just putting it out there

 

[Red_Bull]

That reminds me of something that happened to my dad.

First of all, my dad was a Colonel in the US Army, for those of you not familiar with military rank, someone of Colonel rank typically commands a brigade-sized unit (roughly 3,000 men). You do not fuck with the Colonel.

My dad was a periodontist (mouth surgeon) and dental corp. commander, he also got the reputation for being the "Fixer." He would get sent in to large clinics that were not performing up to expectations and get them on track. He also ended the careers of a few officers who thought that they didn't have to do anything to earn their pay.

Anyway, one day he came into work and a ratty old van was parked in his parking spot; it's easy to tell which spot is my dad's because there is a sign that says, "RESERVED: Col. ----- Clinic Comander." What's worse is that the guy who parked there was an NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer - that's like middle-management). This was back in the day when your credentials were displayed on your windscreen, including your rank.

This situation would not stand, but instead of making a stink about it, my dad just decided to teach the guy a lesson; he parked his car behind the offender and went to work, knowing that he was going to be staying until about 7:30 that night. When he came out to his car, he found the guy had somehow unlocked the door, taken the car out of gear and pushed it out of the way so he could leave.

Now my dad was pissed. He had taken down the licence number of the van that morning so he called the MPs (Military Police) and talked to the junior officer in charge over there. He made it very clear that if The Colonel ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, and asked the officer in charge of the MPs what he thought it would take to fix the problem.
"Don't worry, sir. I'll take care of it. Would you like me to call you in the morning with a report?"

Apparently the Sergent who owned the van spent the night in the stockade for breaking into the car, got a formal letter of reprimand placed in his record, and I think he might have been demoted and docked a few months pay as well.

Moral of the story: unless you have a silver bird on your shoulder, don't ever park in a spot marked "RESERVED COL."

Kinda badass of him to park wherever he pleased and then simply roll your dads car out the way when he needed to go. Either he had massive balls or he was a fucking idiot. Probably both. It's a bit amusing

 

[Kiki]

I think I'm in love

You know euhrmm........her boyfriend is quite big and drives an SUV, I also think he has a guncollection......just putting it out there

Thanks for the thought though - I'm also a bit bat-shit crazy too, but I guess that just comes with the entire package.

Speaking of entire packages, I need that armoured bumper soon.

 

[Blind_Io]

I think I'm in love

Yeah, she has that effect on people.

Kinda badass of him to park wherever he pleased and then simply roll your dads car out the way when he needed to go. Either he had massive balls or he was a fucking idiot. Probably both. It's a bit amusing

Considering that he pretty much shot himself in the face when it comes to any future career advancement and he spent a night in the stockade, what do you think? Would you promote an NCO who has a letter in his jacket saying he broke into a Colonel's car? If you were his commanding officer at a new posting do you think you would keep a guy with that record on a very short leash?

I'm going with "idiot" - there are just some things you don't do in the military, and breaking into the Colonel's car is pretty high on that list.

 

[prizrak]

You know euhrmm........her boyfriend is quite big and drives an SUV, I also think he has a guncollection......just putting it out there

I'm quite big and have a bulletproof vest collection I have a g/f as well so this is platonic

 

[Pedrocas]

Instead of waiting for his turn, this guy thought it would be better to just undertake more than 10 cars that were going to turn left too and stop in the middle of the crossroad, not giving a crap about the traffic coming from the road to the right that wanted to get access to the line for the ferryboat as well. Smartass.

 

[Heathrow]

An old guy in a filter left turn only lane, undertakes me then tries to cut in on me. (He wasn't turning left, but going stright on the same as me.)

Three very long and LOUD blasts on the excellent horns on the BMW, then the dude gets the message and backs off.
It ain?t gonna happen with most makes of cars, especially not if you are driving an effing Prius.

(I got the obligatory ?apology? from the idiot by him flashing his lights at me afterward. Too late I say, I?d already been offended. :lol

 

[prizrak]

I had a funny one. Getting on the highway I get into the right lane then go into the middle lane the car in the middle lane (the one I merged in front of) starts honking as I'm halfway into the lane and flashing his lights. The punchline: he was about a car length and a half behind me (this may seem to close for our European friends but in NYC that's actually ALOT of room) when I started making my move and I was accelerating at the same time so was faster than him...

 

[GRtak]

Out and about today I see an overloaded truck(1/2 ton pulling a 20ft enclosed trailer that was loaded and full bed) coming off the expressway. I am sitting at the light near the exit and I see he is hard on the smoking brakes and he is not going to be able to stop in time so I hit the horn trying to warn those that aren't paying attention. The guy in the truck starts doing the same and he also downshifts the auto trans. I look back to see if the traffic that is coming towards me is still stopped and I see a couple of stupid kids (late teens early 20s) pulling up to the light trying to roll it with thier radio blarring. The lady next to them starts honking too and they can't hear it over the radio and they go when the light goes green and they got hammered. After the accident I pull in front of the exit to force peeps coming off the e-way to make a right and call 911 and go across the street to see if I can help in any way. People coming off the expressway try to turn left around my car and pile up behind the accident.

First, the guy in the truck was an ass for not knowing what his truck could do and sevearlly overloading it.

Second, the kids were not only not paying attention, they couldn't hear anything(I could hear their music over mine)

and thirdly, WTF, there is an accident that blocks the way to the left and they won't go right to allow the police and ambulances get there?

And last we have the dispatcher. I told her what the accident was and how many ambulances to send, as did a nurse that rolled up just and called after it happened, the police and first ambulance (1st on scene) both had to call for more.

I seriously don't know how anyone lived through this, but everyone was alive when the ambulances left. The car is so fucked that I can't tell you what it was. The truck is fucked because when he hit the car, the car acted like a block against the crub and the frame bent up and right then it forced the car to roll and it went over it pulling the trailer with it stopping with the car under the hitch.

 

[prizrak]

Out and about today I see an overloaded truck(1/2 ton pulling a 20ft enclosed trailer that was loaded and full bed) coming off the expressway. I am sitting at the light near the exit and I see he is hard on the smoking brakes and he is not going to be able to stop in time so I hit the horn trying to warn those that aren't paying attention. The guy in the truck starts doing the same and he also downshifts the auto trans. I look back to see if the traffic that is coming towards me is still stopped and I see a couple of stupid kids (late teens early 20s) pulling up to the light trying to roll it with thier radio blarring. The lady next to them starts honking too and they can't hear it over the radio and they go when the light goes green and they got hammered. After the accident I pull in front of the exit to force peeps coming off the e-way to make a right and call 911 and go across the street to see if I can help in any way. People coming off the expressway try to turn left around my car and pile up behind the accident.

First, the guy in the truck was an ass for not knowing what his truck could do and sevearlly overloading it.

Second, the kids were not only not paying attention, they couldn't hear anything(I could hear their music over mine)

and thirdly, WTF, there is an accident that blocks the way to the left and they won't go right to allow the police and ambulances get there?

And last we have the dispatcher. I told her what the accident was and how many ambulances to send, as did a nurse that rolled up just and called after it happened, the police and first ambulance (1st on scene) both had to call for more.

I seriously don't know how anyone lived through this, but everyone was alive when the ambulances left. The car is so fucked that I can't tell you what it was. The truck is fucked because when he hit the car, the car acted like a block against the crub and the frame bent up and right then it forced the car to roll and it went over it pulling the trailer with it stopping with the car under the hitch.

That's INSANE

 

[EyeMWing]

Out and about today I see an overloaded truck(1/2 ton pulling a 20ft enclosed trailer that was loaded and full bed)

That shouldn't have been a problem - unless the trailer brakes weren't connected (and nobody sells a 20ft trailer without brakes)

 

[Davetouch]

^ Aren't the brakes on those controlled by a ram thing in the hitch (on the trailer side)? So when the car/truck slows down, the trailer continues and pushes onto the hitch, activating the brakes. My dad borrowed an 11ft trailer and thats what that had.

 

[GRtak]

That shouldn't have been a problem - unless the trailer brakes weren't connected (and nobody sells a 20ft trailer without brakes)

I don't know if it was using the trailer brakes, but the truck brakes were smoking, so I doubt it.

 

[EyeMWing]

^ Aren't the brakes on those controlled by a ram thing in the hitch (on the trailer side)? So when the car/truck slows down, the trailer continues and pushes onto the hitch, activating the brakes. My dad borrowed an 11ft trailer and thats what that had.

Those are ghetto-assed 'surge brakes' and are made of misery and failure. Real trailer brakes are either pneumatics, electrically operated and tied to the brake lights, or to a specialized electric brake controller that actuates the brakes just like your truck brakes - a tongue-actuated brake system like you describe can only be used up to a certain weight threshold. Nonetheless, ANY system would have done better than what's described hereand if you're towing anything more substantial than a garden trailer without functional brakes, you're too dumb to drive ANYTHING.

 

[hajj]

I'be just seen some idiot reversing on the hard shoulder of a motorway because he missed his exit. Goes without saying that he had a tomtom of some sort on the windscreen and Belgian plates.

 

[AiR]

^ Aren't the brakes on those controlled by a ram thing in the hitch (on the trailer side)? So when the car/truck slows down, the trailer continues and pushes onto the hitch, activating the brakes. My dad borrowed an 11ft trailer and thats what that had.

Yup, it's called an overrun brake. Works well for it's given task (gross weight 500kg/4250kg (4250 in EU from 2013>), is robust and requires very little maintenance. Heavier trailers (lorrys) of course use different brakes. A six meter box trailer would fall in the latter category.