Kill a dream

Granted. But your mind explodes and you can't use them

I wish that work would stop getting in the way.
 
Granted. You're fired.

I wish I had my own tv show.
 
Granted. It's called "World's Worst Smells!"

I wish that this meeting would be over and I could go home!
 
Granted, you get hit by a bus that wouldn't have hit you if you left the meeting 10 seconds later

I wish I could go to sleep
 
Granted. You never sleep again.

I wish they wouldn't start pile driving across the street so damn early in the morning.
 
Granted. It's now on the floor above you.

I wish that my hair was far more manageable.
 
Granted, all your hair falls off, bald is very easy to comb

I wish my chair didn't make me sweat
 
Granted you are now totally bald. instead it makes you itch like crazy,

I wish I had some cheesecake.
 
Granted. It's completely empty.

I wish I didn't have to host beer hour today.
 
Granted. It's tequila slammer hour, and everyone has to slam something into you to get their free tequila.

I wish that I had been able to sleep in.
 
Granted but it's a sleep you never wake up from.

I wish life wasn't such a bitch.
 
Granted. It's now a miasma of mud and rotting vegetation.

I wish that I had somewhere to live in November
 
Granted. It's in the middle of a swamp.

I wish everyone who worked around me weren't so annoyingly loud.
 
Granted. You now sit next to my colleague, who taps. Taps and taps and taps and taps and taps. And has serious flatulence issues.

I wish that I would find a whiteboard and the shops today (already tried three shops...FML)
 
Granted. It's 10ft by 100ft.

I wish I had a better liver (for alcohol consumption, not because of disease).
 
Granted. Alcohol now leaves your system so fast you never get even a buzz.

I wish that bags of horse feed didn't have a tendency to split in the back of a clean car.
 
Granted. They're impossible to open.

I wish I had a house on the beach.
 
Granted. Unfortunately it's just not above the tide line.

I wish that I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.
 
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