Quantum Theory of Bogodynamics

Lieutenant47

Lieutenant47

Most interesting man... in the world.
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Otherwise known as understanding all things bogus. I first ran across this theory back in the mid 90's. I am not the original author of this, and much of it has since become viral and/or entered the world of internet folklore. What I'm writing here is largely from memory and my own understanding of the theory.

Some basic definitions:

Bogon: Noun. The essential particle of the state of Bogosity, otherwise known as the state of being Bogus. Natural emission of Bogon Emitters. Perpetual negative charge. Can be directed or can exist in unbound state. Bogons in unbound states can be attracted to or absorbed by Bogon Sinks, but can permanently revert to a neutral state if no suitable Bogon Sink can be found within the lifespan of the unbound Bogon.

Cluon: Noun. Anti-bogon particle. Normally positively charged. Destroys Bogons on contact if Cluon positive charge is greater than negative Bogon charge. Weak Cluons have been observed to change state to Bogons if insufficient positive charge exist upon contact.

Bogon Emitter: Noun. Entity which emits Bogons. Bogon emitters normally require at least one or more Bogon Sinks in the immediate vicinity in order to survive, though some Bogon Emitters have been known to survive for indefinite periods until a suitable Bogon Sink becomes available.

Bogon Retransmitter. Noun. Entity which accepts Bogons without absorption, but redirects Bogons to any available Bogon Sink.

Bogon Sink: Noun. Entity which attracts or absorbs Bogons. Normally positivly charged in natural state. Capacity to absorb Bogons varies depending on strength of positive charge, however if enough Bogons (always negatively charged) are absorbed, Bogon Sinks can become Bogon Retransmitters or Bogon Emitters.

Bogosity: The State of being Bogus. Also a measure of the level of Bogon concentration.

Bogometer: Noun. Virtual Device used for measuring the relative strength of Bogosity. Range: 100% Cluon - Neutral State - 100% Bogon.

Bogon Equilibrium: Equal elements of Bogons and Cluons in stasis. Bogon Equilibrium is an unstable state, easily eliminated by any significant exposure to Bogons or Cluons.

Bogon Nirvana: A rare state in which Cluons outnumber Bogons in sufficient numbers or strength so as to render immunity to Bogon dominance.



Common Examples of Bogon Emitters: Used Car Salespersons, Politicions, Extreme Left/Right Wing Radio/TV Talkshow Hosts, Some Academics, Liberals and Conservatives *see Bogon Equilibrium*, Urban Redevelopers, Alleged Injured Party in Divorce or Relationship Break-up.

Common Examples of Bogon Sinks: Gullible people, General Electorate, Academics, Liberals *See Bogon Equilibrium*, Clergy *see Bogon Nirvana for exceptions*, Undergraduates and Recent Graduates in Social Work, Sympathetic Friends or acquaintances of Bogon Emitters.

Common Examples of Bogon Particles: Hearsay, Unsubstantiated Rumour, Whining, Complaints in general, Accusations directed to general audiences or third persons *see Bogon Sink* rather than the target entiity.

Common Examples of Cluon Particles: Verified Facts, Truth, Principles, Morality, Firm Beliefs.

Google link for those interested in more info.

Disclaimer: This entire thread and this post may be bogus. You've been warned. :)
 
Shouldn't televangelists and real estate agents be included as classic Bogon Emitters?

:+1@ anyway!
 
:lmao:

Is there any recorded examples of Bogons becoming Cluons?
 
Mineworksfine said:
Shouldn't televangelists and real estate agents be included as classic Bogon Emitters?

:+1@ anyway!
Click to expand...

Absolutely! With a little effort and thought, I'm sure the list can be expanded quite a bit. My ex was a Bogon Emitter, for example.
 
ashspet said:
:lmao:

Is there any recorded examples of Bogons becoming Cluons?
Click to expand...

Not many, I'm sure... deathbed confessionals and conversions excepted. The only one that comes immediately to mind is Saint Paul.
 
What are the internal and environmental factors required to change from a Bogon Sink to a Bogon Retransmitter?
 
I have to add the extreme state of Critical Bogosity. It is a state consisting of a pure concentration of bogon emitters caught in a feed-forward loop. Bogons are emitted and exchanged without annihilation, thus increasing the bogosity within a confined space. Any particle that enters that space, regardless of charge, has a significantly increased chance of being absorbed into the bogon feed-forward loop.
 
:blink:
 
ashspet said:
What are the internal and environmental factors required to change from a Bogon Sink to a Bogon Retransmitter?
Click to expand...

When the Bogon Sink has exceeded its Bogon absorption capacity, it can then either self-destruct (Bogon Meltdown) or become simultaneously a Bogon Sink and a Bogon Emitter. It cannot theoretically becom a Bogon Retransmitter, since Bogon Retransmitters do not absorb Bogons, but merely redirect them. An example of a Bogon Retransmitter is a Gossip or neighborhood busybody rumor monger.
 
skidd said:
I have to add the extreme state of Critical Bogosity. It is a state consisting of a pure concentration of bogon emitters caught in a feed-forward loop. Bogons are emitted and exchanged without annihilation, thus increasing the bogosity within a confined space. Any particle that enters that space, regardless of charge, has a significantly increased chance of being absorbed into the bogon feed-forward loop.
Click to expand...

Ummmm... Yeah. What he said. LOL
 
ashspet said:
:lmao:

Is there any recorded examples of Bogons becoming Cluons?
Click to expand...

I don't think the specific particles can change their status, but I have myself witnessed some sparse case of Bogon Sink becoming bogon-repellant. It generally involves a tiny Cluon particle to hit at a very specific yet elusive angle. In order for this effect to take place the Bogon Sink needs to be located in an environment characterized by a majority of positive Cluon currents; the Bogon Sink needs to also have reached and kept for a certain time a balanced state of non-repulsion towards Cluon currents.

This phenomenon has been described in its effects as a chain reaction started by the Cluon particle. The Bogons are sistematically removed and the former Bogon Sink normally becomes a weak or very weak Cluon Emitter. The most important trait of the redeemed Bogon Sink is that it acquires repellant properties against Bogons, particularly the Bogon particles that were most commonly absorbed before the redeeming event.

EDIT

sorry, I was forgetting:

+1 @ Lieutenant
 
Last edited:
I'm 12 and what is this :blink:
 
Some very useful information you are going to need in your life.
 
Cluon Emitter to Bogon Emitter conversion. I've been asked if it is possible for a Cluon Emitter to become a Bogon Emitter. Yes, absolutely. If the Cluon Emitter does not have sufficient positive charge and is placed in a large Bogon Emitter environment, it cam lose it's positive charge over time and eventually become either Bogon Neutral or Bogon Emitter. An examples of these can be found in most elected bodies (Congress, Parliament) where former Cluon Emitters were elected and became Bogon Emitters after some time in Office. Note that this does not count Bogon Emitters masquerading as Cluon Emitters (False Cluon Effect), which is a separate category.
 
Related

https://pic.armedcats.net/b/bl/blayde/2010/09/02/mrbogus.jpg
 
What about modifying the thread title to "The Quantum Theory of Bogodynanmics and other dubious scientific principles........"

As an example I just came up with Mineworksfine's Quantum Theory of Workplace Training which states that it's only purpose is to be so mind-numbingly boring that the return to the mundane reality of your actual jobs comes as a relief and you approach same with renewed vigour and enthusiasm.
 
Mineworksfine said:
What about modifying the thread title to "The Quantum Theory of Bogodynanmics and other dubious scientific principles........"

As an example I just came up with Mineworksfine's Quantum Theory of Workplace Training which states that it's only purpose is to be so mind-numbingly boring that the return to the mundane reality of your actual jobs comes as a relief and you approach same with renewed vigour and enthusiasm.
Click to expand...

Thought about that, since I have a few other things to share (see comments further on), but decided against it because I thought the thread could take too many potentially unrelated tangets. But for this, I recommend you start your own thread if you have the material. I do, however, quarrel with your "dubious" appellation... I personally think the Quantum Theory of Bogodynamics works quite well, thank you. As an aside, I have a few others definitely in the dubious range that I may share at some future date. Here's a teaser: The Lieutenant's 1-10 rating scale. otherwise knows as "the Silverfox Scale", which, depending on how I edit it, may or may not appear in the SFW sections. Stay tuned.
 
I'm on the edge of my seat already! :yes:
 
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