To the cock-juggling cheese-dick in the silver Subaru sedan,
I get that you are in a hurry, but that doesn't mean you get to make your own rules. I know the lanes to get on the northbound freeways at 7200 South are very short and inconvenient, that's because there's a couple of rail bridges in the way. I know that it sucks to wait in a long single-file line before we get to the double turn lanes, but it's incredibly rude to race up the through-lane and try to fit 14 feet of car into a 5-foot space. You managed to nearly cause a wreck by over shooting into the far-left lane, nearly cause a crash by cutting off a moving car without even enough space to fit your own vehicle in (actually a Smart would have had trouble and I wouldn't have tried that on my motorcycle), and you nearly caused a crash by leaving your big ass hanging out in the traffic lane. I know because I was about 5 cars back and saw all of this.
But here's the funny thing, shit-for-brains, somehow I still managed to get ahead of you on the on-ramp. Apparently you noticed the other cars passing you by as you were stuck behind that slow-moving truck, because by the time we got to the end of the ramp and the merge from two lanes to one (just prior to merging with freeway traffic), you decided to initiate a pass with about 3 feet of lane left. To your credit, you did manage to get around me, but only by using the shoulder - and to what end? You would have still been stuck behind that semi-truck if you were behind me. All you managed to do was risk yet another crash to get one car length ahead. Does it surprise you when I honk my horn and flash my lights to point out your asshattery? Apparently, because you then flipped me off for having the audacity to use the road responsibly.
It's ok though, because I was happy to demonstrate than a 4.0L V6 based on a sports car motor can go from 50 to 65 in third much faster than your slushbox 4-banger Subaru. All your dick head moves were worth it to watch you have a fit in your driver's seat and probably shave a year off your life when I boxed you in behind that truck.
When you finally did figure out that slowing down got you out of there, you pulled hard across four lanes of traffic, scattering other cars and receiving a chorus of honks and curses before hitting the fast lane and speeding away. I noticed as your little Subaru screamed in agony trying to hit 95 mph in 4th that you were still holding up that middle finger and waving it around to every car on the road.
If it wasn't illegal, I would put you down myself for the common good. I just hope I'm around to see it when someone with less to lose does it for me.
Cheers,
Blind_Io
I want my armored bumper, goddammit!