Kill a dream

You have both lof's your legs... whatever that is.

I wish it snows tomorrow. (I live in a 2nd floor of a 6 floor apartment please don't try to bury my house :D)
 
Granted, but as you predicted, you're snowed in...for quite a long time

I hope I'll get on dean's list next semester!
 
Granted, you're on the dean's worst students ever list.

I wish it was sunny outside.
 
Granted. Until the guy from Nigeria shows up and takes his cash back.

I wish that I had a better result today
 
Granted, but those results show that you cheated as you copied from someone sitting next to you.

I wish I had the guts to ask out the nice girl next to me.
 
Granted. Except your guts are now in a pool at your feet and you appear to be losing an awful lot of blood.

I wish that my knee wasn't so damn sore.
 
Granted, you are now an double above knee amputee, now your knees will never be sore again.

I wish the college had better computers.
 
Granted. But now you are not allowed to use them. You must write all your essays and submissions by hand, with a quill, with no dictionary.

I wish that I was more like me in my head.
 
Granted. You're forever stuck inside a skull.

I wish I had a nicer chair at work.
 
Granted, however you no longer have a spine.

I wish they would send me home already from this Jury doody.
 
Granted. But the person who sends you home does not have authorisation to do so. You are now under arrest for failing to appear. The guy who is about to strip search you before locking you up is looking at you in a way that makes your balls shrivel.

I wish that it was home time.
 
Granted, it is home time... for everyone but yourself.

I wish I didn't have to go to work ever again but the money would still roll in my bank account as if I did
 
Granted. And then the money launderers who are using your bank account roll it right on out again. The Taxman then investigates you and gets you on tax evasion, and while you are locked up in clink with your cellmate who is eyeing you like an oasis in the middle of the Sahara, the Columbians are after you wondering where their last payment went.

I wish that I received the same amount as I was paid today, every week.
 
Granted. The price of everything else in the world immediately increases 100 times.

I wish I could dunk a basketball on a regulation basketball hoop.
 
True. Unfortunately the glass breaks and the shards fall on you, making you bleed out before you hit the ground.

I wish that today was Saturday
 
Granted. Three weeks ago. You have to relive the last three weeks all over again. And the rest of December.

I wish I had a cheesesteak from Jim's in Philly.
 
Granted. But it came surface mail. It is hairy enough to brush.

I wish that my feet were warm
 
Granted. They're nice and toasty next to a fire. The rest of you is still freezing outside.

I wish I could manage my time better.
 
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