Your expectations from series 17

Each episode will consist of:

A tedious two part film where they pretend they are going to do something awesome but is in fact full of badly scripted and worse acted "accidents". James May will finally be rushed to hospital because of a ruptured embarrassment gland.

The News will consist of nothing but knob jokes and racial stereotypes. Hammond, who has finally come out as a transvestite, will incur the wrath of the Muslim world and become the subject of a fatwah. Subsequently 90% of the show's budget has to be transferred to cover the cost of his armoured vehicle and ex-special forces bodyguards.

SIARPC will show just the start and the end of the lap to allow more time to plug the guest's latest project. At no point will they be asked about their interest in cars or their car history. Only one of the guests will actually realise they are on Top Gear as opposed to any other talk show.

The cheapest car Jeremy drives will cost at least ?200,000. None of them will ever leave the confines of the track and he will regurgitate some old metaphors before contradicting himself again. The word "Myrrh" will feature in every review. The only one he likes will be dreadful, but he loves it because it has AMG on its arse.

Andy Wilman will post a blog on the TG website saying how proud he is of their latest efforts and that he doesn't give a stuff what anyone thinks about the direction "their baby" has taken. The standard photo of him that accompanies every blog will be replaced by a photocopy of his most recent bank statement with the account numbers blacked out with a magic marker which has also been used to write "fuck you" across the bottom.

I agree with everything written here.

I'm also wondering how many more times we're even going to be able to predict the next series?
 
Watch today's episode. :nod:

As for me, I don't have any expectations. I'd rather wait and see what happens.



And seeing cars you can easily see and buy at your local dealerships is?


Depending on how they're done, then 'maybe'.

I'm not taking a swipe at the Ferrari and Lamborghini supercar shows. Those are enjoyable in their own right.

But having shows about prototypes and extremely limited editions that you can't just go buy is a bit tiresome. I can't really 'dream' about an up-tuned ford focus.

I can dream about a Ferrari that they're only producing 448 of or some arbitrary number they decide. They're still special cars.

A Ford Focus with a special brake pack and an engine which could re-ignite the sun is still a Focus. And I can't buy it.
 
I didn't like the greatest driving road in Europe episode nearly as much as the trip to Romania because the cars were much less interesting, and the Millau bridge episode seemed a little pointless. There were some pretty great parts of that episode, like driving the supercars through Paris ("It's a supercar, it doesn't have vertical takeoff!"), and the parking garage muck up (both of which were definitely scripted, fyi, you don't just "randomly" go around the Arc de Triomphe), but apart from that the episode didn't really go anywhere. It felt like Jeremy wanted to take his Ford GT on road trip and so they just came up with this random destination and picked up a few supercars and went.

Sorry, pal, but I thought the Romania trip was much better than either of those.
 
I must say, i notice a bit of a drain in the show..

I sometimes watch the top gear episodes while i'm chilling with some friends.

If i watch some episodes of season 10 or 13 and compare them to the latest season(s) (this one and the previous one), i must say, the oldies are better.

The new ones are too scripted and sometimes boring. Don't get me wrong, i love top gear. I love the big trips that they do, like romania stuff or bolivia(best one) or the thailand stuff. But the other episode, there was an extreme boring episode of the yeti or the top gear australia vs britain. It didn't do it for me. Its almost predictable.. Like a big van vs a heavy tuned pick-up. You know there is something wrong..

If i watch the old episodes, there is a typical sense in it. It was more like omg! if something happened, now these days in some episodes, its like.."that's gonna happen... *happens* thought so.."

I loved the middle east episode and the 458 /sls/ gt3 to america. But sometimes it gets too typical, like hammond always loving and moaning about the greatness of a porsche and jeremy always bashing it, despite he loves it in his own movies. It gets too typical.

This episode 16x06, i liked the porsche 959 vs f40 episode, i liked segment of the rover stuff, because it was interesting and james explained it all well, but the jag part was actually not interesting at all.. I mean what's the point of it? If you wanna test the jag, just test it against its other brand cars.

My expectations of the new series are:

Test the new hargarharhahraha pagani vs the "older" pagani zonda.
If the new aventador is out, then do a big trip! Take an old lamborghini(countach or diablo) and a murcielago and the aventador and do a big trip through italy or somewhere else. Visit the factories or so? Or who knows, the porsche 918 is there and they can do a test against it?

Perhaps, old supercar reliability? Take a budget, buy an old sportscar (each presenter must have a sportscar from a different brand, so no bmw x3times) an old porsche 911 vs an old ferrari vs an old ... . Do a trip through a country. Or towards a show. Knowing the condition and the age of the cars, some will fail and some shall pass..

Less scripting, have a good concept, think about it.



Still i keep watching it because i love it.
 
Combining tonight's episode with 15x05 (which i can think of as one of the greatest in modern times) my improvement would be to giveeach presenter a 10 minute segment to be filled at their own liking. Filled with SIARPC and a roadtest of some expensive car. I mean, it's obvious that the boys have lost their sense of cocking around with each other,but they are brilliant presenters on their own, so stop meddling around in the segments and continue the bickering in the studio, where it's suppose to happen...
 
Sorry, pal, but I thought the Romania trip was much better than either of those.

Well you are, of course, entitled to your opinion. You can, of course, imagine that the producers would give May a Dacia Sandero, that a semi trailer would accidentally reverse into and write it off and that his pained expression was genuine angst at the fate of the car instead of acute embrarrasment at such a cheap stunt.

Forgive me if, however, just as I wouldn't take the advice of a food critic who eats at McDonalds I don't give credence to a Pontiac GTO driver's opinion on a car show.

And "fyi" since the Arc de Triomphe is renowned in Yurp as being an incredibly intimidating place to drive any car it was obviously not random but more to the point it was relevant.

To car fans.

People who enjoy driving.

And are interested in it.

Who, therefore, don't drive Pontiacs.

:p
 
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From this post, I'm convinced you don't know nearly as much about TG as I do (and consequently not nearly as much about the show as you THINK you do).

First off, I also said that the lorrey-Sandero incident was HEAVILY scripted, and I'm pretty sure everyone with working eyes can see that.

Secondly, nice cheap shots at my car... but, since you're so uneducated, I'll give you a little bit of a hint: The GTO is actually a fantastic car; just look for any of the reviews on it. The only people who say negative things about it are Americans who think that it is "too understated for a true GTO" (because they're used to the loud, obnoxious looking GTOs from the 1960s) - well no shit it is, because it's not an American car in the first place! The Top Gear trio love it, as well - remember when Clarkson said, "It's like some bloke in Australia had a picture of me on his desk and said, 'Let's make a car from HIM!'" But you wouldn't remember that, would you?

Meanwhile Clarkson refers to your car as "just a machine." Oops!

And "fyi" since the Arc de Triomphe is renowned in Yurp as being an incredibly intimidating place to drive any car it was obviously not random but more to the point it was relevant.

NO SHIT!? Really!?

I was referring to the fact that IN THE EPISODE, Clarkson says, "Oh my, I hope we don't have to drive around the Arc de Triomphe!" And then, BAM, there they are. That's what I'm talking about - pure, silly scriptedness! And guess what, it STILL made good television! Maybe you should be the one to go watch some more Top Gear. :)

I know what you're doing - pick on the relatively new guy with less than 30 posts because he's an American and drives an "American muscle car" (actually it's Australian) and therefore must be unrefined and daft. What you don't know is that you're really taking pot shots at someone who has spent his entire life around a myriad of cars, not just American ones, and probably knows a hell of a lot more about them than you do...
 
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What would I like to see?

1. A contest which results in Jeremy Clarkson being banned from driving any four-wheeled vehicle with a list price of over 14 thousand pounds. (This keep him in the cheap car challenges but eliminates the Fezzas, Lambos, Mazzers, Mercs, etc. from his driving diet.)

2. At least one epic challenge.

3. NASCAR drivers and/or cable stars (e.g. Mythbusters, Jersey Shore) in the reasonably priced car.

4. One Cool Wall segment.

5. Tests of the Hyundai Genesis, Proton rally cars, Chevrolet Cruze, BMW 1 Series M, some motorcycles, etc.
 
1. A contest which results in Jeremy Clarkson being banned from driving any four-wheeled vehicle with a list price of over 14 thousand pounds. (This keep him in the cheap car challenges but eliminates the Fezzas, Lambos, Mazzers, Mercs, etc. from his driving diet.)

Why!? As interesting as Hammond and May can be, they aren't good enough drivers for the high-powered cars and I'd really like to stay away from getting stunt drivers in on the "track" tests (they aren't really road tests anymore, honestly). Clarkson screeching around corners as been in the show for 16 seasons and I don't see why it should be taken out now. Though I do think they need to go to the streets more!

2. At least one epic challenge.

Define that.. this one had the snow challenge which was pretty epic, really, it just didn't involve a "car", which was the main problem with it.

3. NASCAR drivers and/or cable stars (e.g. Mythbusters, Jersey Shore) in the reasonably priced car.

No offense but that's what TG USA is for... I'd like to keep my North American stars as far as possible from TGUK (except for the occasional one perhaps!).

4. One Cool Wall segment.

This series had that!

5. Tests of the Hyundai Genesis, Proton rally cars, Chevrolet Cruze, BMW 1 Series M, some motorcycles, etc.

I don't want to see any more tests on cars that we can't buy. So no on the Proton cars, but agreed on the 1-series M, Genesis and Cruze, though.
 
Jeremy testing the Nissan Leaf and Chevy Volt. We haven't had an entertaining bloodbath in quite a while.
 
I think its time the show had a mild shake-up to keep it fresh, but keeping some of the things that have, IMO, made it a great show over the years. Thinking out loud, some ideas I have are (in no particular order):

SIARPC - get rid of it, or don't have one every week when there's better material that could be shown. Someone above had the suggestion of normal person in a fast car - what a great idea, and how about that car is a cheap one that has been souped up to be fast(er), like the Avantime?

STIG - get rid of him, change the character to something else or just show who the driver is

MORE cheap car challenges of vehicles people can relate to, like the vans, British Leyland and ?1000 Porsches or however much they were.

Fewer Porsche 911s

More topical news and more quirky tests of regular cars like the Yeti, Fiesta, Twingo.

Keep the expensive supercars segments, we all need to dream!
 
I LOVED the Avantime segment, and agree completely. I wouldn't do it every episode, but there should be a challenge where they attempt to get a basic car up to a pre-determined speed by modifying it.

In fact, I miss the segments where they actually talked techical.. I think it's a side effect of the estimated 350 million viewers - they probably imagine most of those people don't care about brakes, suspension, engine tune-ups, which explains why May was "banned from giving the full explanation" for the aerodynamics on the Veyron SS run. I'd love to see them working on a car again like they did back in some of the old challenges - the convertible people carrier, the Avantime, the Britcar 24, and so on.
 
There is always the age old argument "if you want proper reviews of everyday cars then watch Fifth Gear".

I've seen plenty of it around here myself in the time I've been here. :nod:

I read TG mag and it is excellent. If I want consumer advice I can buy What Car? The difference is that TG mag reviews cars in an interesting and entertaining fashion. TG TV used to do that too. They gave you the feel of a car you could afford but in a way that made you smile rather than nod off. James in the Fiat 500 vs BMX guys?

I understand what you're saying. I also like those sorts of reviews. However, I should remind you I'm a Yank, and many of those affordable cars they've featured on the show (Ford Sport Ka, Peugeot 207, Renaults Clio and Twingo, Fiats Panda and 500, VW Fox, among others) aren't available to purchase here, so in many of those instances, I'm still seeing cars I can't buy and may never see in the flesh. (Fiat will be back in the US this year, and we have the Ford Fiesta now.)

Anyway, the thing I'm concerned about is, and I'm more than willing to accept being wrong about this, some around here seem to want TG to go back to being the newsmagazine it was way back when, to being [mostly, or solely, affordable] cars with virtually no cocking about whatsoever. (Racing a little Fiat 500 across Budapest against a couple of BMX bikers isn't exactly serious motoring journalism, you know. ;)) I'm someone who likes both cars and cocking about. If TG reverted back to a serious newsmagazine type of format, I'd stop watching.

The Fiesta review with the beach landing was great (and HM Forces love using TG as a recruitment poster) so they tried the same trick with a Twingo, in Belfast, with another celeb who would have had to be paid, before chucking ?13k worth of car into the harbour.

The Fiesta review is one of my favourites by Jeremy. The Twingo one was okay, but ultimately not as memorable.

Also, didn't someone around here say that, once a press car gets returned to the manufacturer, it ends up being destroyed anyway? (I'm just wondering; that's all.)

SIARPC - get rid of it, or don't have one every week when there's better material that could be shown.

Not having one every week I can deal with. Getting rid of it altogether, not so much. SIARPC has been -- and likely still is -- a gateway drug (if you like) for many a fan (myself included), and it's a staple of the show.

STIG - get rid of him, change the character to something else or just show who the driver is

Definitely not happening when Stig is synonymous with Top Gear (the show and the brand, not to mention the Stig image is all over the merchandising).

* * *

Anyway, I was just thinking about how some of you have suggested getting rid of one of the presenters (usually Richard, though one of you also suggested sacking Jeremy), and I had a bit of a random thought.

<devil's advocate>

For all the support James has by many on these boards, and for all the displeasure many of those same boardies have expressed for the show in recent times, I'm surprised no one's suggested he leave the show, on the grounds that he's above all of the stupidity and would be better off simply presenting whatever shows he wants while Jeremy, Richard, and (insert replacement here) kill the show to death with all the arsing about.

</devil's advocate>
 
For all the support James has by many on these boards, and for all the displeasure many of those same boardies have expressed for the show in recent times, I'm surprised no one's suggested he leave the show, on the grounds that he's above all of the stupidity and would be better off simply presenting whatever shows he wants while Jeremy, Richard, and (insert replacement here) kill the show to death with all the arsing about.

</devil's advocate>

Actually I've been having such thoughts for a while and they were the inspiration for the "ruptured embarrassment gland" line earlier. There has been an increasing number of instances in recent series of May wearing a slightly pained expression when one of their silly stunts has occurred and part of me is quite surprised he hasn't left already.

Perhaps they've already pencilled in a time to finish in the not too distant future and he's sticking with it but if the concensus here about the man is correct then if they continue down the Three Stooges path much further then I wouldn't be surprised at him chucking in the towel.
 
Oh yes would LOVE to see them working on cars - ditto the Aventime, convertible people carrier, caterham. Those are some of my favourite episodes (among many, if I'm honest). Geoff (i-eagle hammer-thrust-head etc) was aiming for that in a cocking-about-way, but didn't quite get there for me.

MWF and Shellygrrl - interesting theories!
 
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I'm in two minds about that.

Geoff was a classic example of appalling TG. Attempt to build something, do it really badly, hope it's funny. It isn't. Fail.

However when they genuinely try to succeed at something say Britcar, crossing the Channel in a pick up, cross Botswana in 2wd cars and achieve it they make some of the most epic TV ever.

Therein lies the basic problem for me.
 
The next series will improve towards the end; as they will have run out of money, having spent the series budget on semtex, coloured lens filters and falling cars in the first few episodes.
 
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