You know you...

You know you have ideas that can be evil when just the thought of a pair of stripy socks appearing over the edge of your desk a la sock puppet style, makes you want to do naughty things with the owner of said socks.

You know you feel terribly guilty when. ...
 
You know you feel terribly guilty when you stole the last piece of cake

You know that there are times when...
 
You know that there are times when you really just have to do it.

You know you shouldn't have had that last piece of cake when...
 
You know you shouldn't have had that last piece of cake when the waiter told you it was only wafer thin...

You know there are never enough hours when...
 
You know there are never enough hours when you fall asleep in the middle of it.

You know the weather isn't right when...
 
You know the weather isn't right when you go out in shorts and T-Shirt and it hammers down with rain.

You know that you shouldn't have accepted the offer of a shag from that girl in the pub when....
 
You know that you shouldn't have accepted the offer of a shag from that girl in the pub when you wake up with a seabird in your bed.

You know you shouldn't have made a Facebook account when...
 
You know you shouldn't have made a Facebook account when you wake up with a fortyfive year old Illinois Trucker in your bed :smile:

You know you are a socialist when. ...
 
You know you should have gone home when there is a party political broadcast on behalf of the silly party.

You know that you need a good hug when. ...
 
You know the world is against you when it rises up under your feet and starts to swallow you whole.

You know that you shouldn't have had that prawn cracker when...
 
You know you shouldn't have had that prawn cracker when you are so full up you are sick.

You know you shouldn't have agreed to give the hitchhiker a lift when...
 
You know you shouldn't have agreed to give the hitchhiker a lift when you realise he is wearing stockings. And suspenders. Correction was wearnig stockings and suspenders, and they're now in the passenger footwell.

You know you shouldn't have read the above when...
 
You know you shouldn't have read the above when you ask yourself hitch hiking why?

You know you are driving way too fast when. ...
 
You know you are driving way too fast, when you oversteer and crash backwards into a tree.

You know you're gonna have a hard time explaining crashing into said tree when...
 
You know you're gonna have a hard time explaining crashing into said tree when the steering wheel is embedded in your mouth.

You know you have a steering wheel jammed in your mouth when. ...
 
You know you have a steering wheel jammed in your mouth when you suggest to your wife that perhaps she isn't the best map reader in the world.

You know you shouldn't tease like that when...
 
You know you shouldn't tease like that when said teasing gets you arrested for indecent exposure.

You know you shouldn't have said what you did to the police officer when......
 
You know you shouldn't have said what you did to the police officer when he's snapping on the rubber gloves.

You know that you shouldn't have opened that door when.....
 
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