Kill a dream

Granted. It's now Tuesday. And nothing that broke on Monday has been fixed, and it's all now in a steaming heap of melted metal.

I wish that Aussie internets were better.
 
Granted, but your computers all stop working.

I wish my coursework was done already.
 
Granted. By monkeys. That have a fixation with the word cock.

I wish that tomorrow was lots more hours away.
 
Granted, but ithen you drop dead.

I wish I was smarter.
 
Granted. You are now smarter than a dung beetle.

I wish I were taller, I wish I was a baller....
 
Granted. Now run for your life. There are quite a few people after you now.

I wish that I had an electric blanket
 
Granted, you now only more meeting to go to, a meeting with your maker.

I wish it wasn't raining.
 
Granted. It's now hailing hard enough to break windscreens.

I wish it wasn't so late
 
Granted. It's only 13:57. You just have to travel a bit to get here by the time the clock ticks on.

I wish I hadn't eaten quite as much...
 
Granted. Someone stole your food, and now you have nothing.

I wish that I had the ability.
 
Granted. I don't know what ability it is you want, but you have it. Unfortunately when you use it you let out the most rip-roaring farts.

I wish I could remember my dreams.
 
Granted. But only the bad ones.

I wish I could wriggle my nose and wishes would come true
 
Granted. But only for wishes for other people. And it's not your nose you have to wiggle :p

I wish you'd wiggle it for me :wicked:
 
Granted. The worm is now wriggling in your ear, and he won't come out.

I wish that my jobs were done for the day and I could get some sleep.
 
Granted. And tomorrow it starts all. Over. Again.

I wish that I hadn't done that last night, 9:30 is way too late for dinner.
 
Granted. No dinner for you.

I wish that I was immune to the flu.
 
Granted. But you're a carrier and have to stay away from every other person on the planet, by government order.

I wish you were well.
 
Granted.

Nope, not killing that one.

I wish I had a long holiday.
 
Top