Age difference in a relationship

Hotpants

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Well, most of you know me as a fucking moron, and i was.

Why i started this thread, i want a honest thoughts.

First of, im 32, so i'm an old fart.
Thing is, i'm dating a girl and she is 16.

Loads of you are gonna scream about that, she is a kid etc etc.
But please look beyond that, look at what you did at that age.

Well, the point is, what you think about all this?
A guy/girl around 30 year dating someone just turned legal.

Is this a big no no, or is it ok?

And yes, i wanna listen to serious stuff not "Perv" etc.
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doug_Hutchison

this guy is creepy

I think it depends on the person who is younger, or this much younger.

What I'm saying is ... if she acts like an adult, then sure it shouldn't matter, but if she acts like a child then its a no no.

But still ...
 
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I don't think there is a guy on the planet who would say no to dating a 16 yo for obvious reasons. That said, and since this is to be serious, I don't have a problem with age difference, I think society puts some artificial barriers often without reason. Same thing is when a 20-something dates a 40-something woman. Whatever makes you happy. Exception being unless she's adult for her age or you a kid for yours the problem will inevitably manifest itself in much varied interests. It does not matter short term but long term, there's bound to be friction. I do speak from experience, albeit it was the other way around.
 
I've always been one to believe in the "half your age (rounded up) plus seven" rule.
 
I think it's weird because at even 24, I can't imagine being around any 16 year old, let alone date one(aside from it being illegal here). Hell, I didn't like 16 year olds when I was 16. This situation, in and of itself, tells me that both parties are doing the wrong thing for the wrong reasons.

Also, unless you were constantly under the influence of heavy drugs when you were the "old hotpants", you're definitely an ass, and you clearly have a thing for 'barely legal', or close to it, girls. The age difference, while large, is not necessarily an issue, but the actual ages and the fact that you're involved makes me say this is a bad thing.
 
or hanging out with her friends

man that must be weird
 
I don't think there is a guy on the planet who would say no to dating a 16 yo for obvious reasons. That said, and since this is to be serious, I don't have a problem with age difference, I think society puts some artificial barriers often without reason. Same thing is when a 20-something dates a 40-something woman. Whatever makes you happy. Exception being unless she's adult for her age or you a kid for yours the problem will inevitably manifest itself in much varied interests. It does not matter short term but long term, there's bound to be friction. I do speak from experience, albeit it was the other way around.

Thank you for a hard to read, but good post.
Well, for you who gave me neg rep for my post, take care, think of your own lives.
 
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First of all 16 year olds are fucking idiots, so dating them is pointless. I'm 24 and an idiot, but I'm a savant compared to a 16 year old. Once one stops being an idiot, somewhere around 22-25 you can date as old as you want because the maturity levels are much closer together.

In the same way that a 12 year old dating a 18 year old is creepy because they are vastly different mentally, so too is a 16 year old dating a 30 year old.

pedo-bear-seal-of-approval.png
 
First of all 16 year olds are fucking idiots, so dating them is pointless. I'm 24 and an idiot, but I'm a savant compared to a 16 year old. Once one stops being an idiot, somewhere around 22-25 you can date as old as you want because the maturity levels are much closer together.

In the same way that a 12 year old dating a 18 year old is creepy because they are vastly different mentally, so too is a 16 year old dating a 30 year old.

I have to agree with this.

Also, I don't think I'd be able to take all the highschool BS drama that comes along with dating a 16 year old. I didn't even partake in that shit when I was 16, let alone now. To me it's just all so childish.
 
First of all 16 year olds are fucking idiots, so dating them is pointless. I'm 24 and an idiot, but I'm a savant compared to a 16 year old. Once one stops being an idiot, somewhere around 22-25 you can date as old as you want because the maturity levels are much closer together.
In the same way that a 12 year old dating a 18 year old is creepy because they are vastly different mentally, so too is a 16 year old dating a 30 year old.

Well, thats your opinion, i don't say it's wrong at all.
Some 16 old girls are much more mature than you think of.

So the Pedobear pic is just weird.
 
Considering how often you self-flagellate on this board, you seem to have at least some esteem issues. In that case, getting with a 16-year-old is bound to be unhealthy for both of you. As always, hope for the best, but we'll keep an eye on the news channels just in case.
 
Considering how often you self-flagellate on this board, you seem to have at least some esteem issues. In that case, getting with a 16-year-old is bound to be unhealthy for both of you. As always, hope for the best, but we'll keep an eye on the news channels just in case.

I admit i prefer younger girls, but not under the age of consent.
And i admit to some, well lets say it, weird posts, but i stand by them.
 
Well, thats your opinion, i don't say it's wrong at all.
Some 16 old girls are much more mature than you think of.

So the Pedobear pic is just weird.

So do you just want everyone to agree and say, hey man, enjoy going out with a 16 year old. That is in no way weird and we support your decision.

Seriously, if you don't want to get abused on the interbutts for being a weirdo, keep the weirdness to yourself.
 
Considering I was horrified at how frighteningly bad with judgement other 16 year old girls were when I was 16, and looking back at me being 16 feel I was fucking retarded judgement wise, no. No it is not ok to date a 16 year old at 32. No 16 year old of either gender should be dating a 32 year old and both of you need therapy more than I do. No 16 year old (I am factoring in a teenager I knew who had to nurse her dying older sister her entire life before dying at 18 which is as mature as you can possibly be forced to be) is mature enough to make those decisions.
 
Considering I was horrified at how frighteningly bad with judgement other 16 year old girls were when I was 16, and looking back at me being 16 feel I was fucking retarded judgement wise, no. No it is not ok to date a 16 year old at 32. No 16 year old of either gender should be dating a 32 year old and both of you need therapy more than I do. No 16 year old (I am factoring in a teenager I knew who had to nurse her dying older sister her entire life before dying at 18 which is as mature as you can possibly be forced to be) is mature enough to make those decisions.

I respect your answer, but it's kinda hard to read.
 
Well, thats your opinion, i don't say it's wrong at all.
Some 16 old girls are much more mature than you think of.

So the Pedobear pic is just weird.

More mature than you maybe, but you seem to be a 12 year old at heart. There is something seriously wrong here. What can a 32 year old possibly find appealing about a 16 year old?
 
A lot of girls grow up faster than guys, and they do tend to look for older guys to date. But whilst a lot of them think they are mature, they don't really understand an 'adult' relationship, or have built up the 'idea' of one.

I suppose there are some things to consider, her ability to cope with this, what you are both looking from the relationship, are you wanting to do the get married, settle down thing while she's about to be in the going out, partying, working out who she is and what she wants to do phase? If you're moving in together, how are you going to live? Is she going to leave school and go get a job? Has the idea of having kids even raised its' head? What happens if she gets pregnant? (and yes, I'm assuming there is sex happening, so pregnancy is a possibility). Has she told her parents/friends? Have you told yours? Or are you each others' dirty secret? And if you are/she is/both are keeping it secret, is it because there is a sense that there will be disapproval? If so, how would the relationship stand up to it? What's her home life like? Is she seeing you as some way to escape it? Lacking in a positive male role model in her life? Does she have normal (non sexual) relationships with people her own age? Older?

I dunno, probably going in to some of the nitty gritty without pretty much all of the info. Based on age alone, I really don't see the relationship going the distance. At 20 I was a very different person to what I was at 16, and had a better understanding of myself. Even looking at it if you were both 10 years older (26 and 42...) there's still quite a gap and differences to be overcome, possibly just some more work required on both sides. Yes, at 16 I was working, school, caring for my brother, hanging with friends in my minimal spare time, and did have a lot of responsibilities that a lot of people that age don't, and I did relate better with 20+ year olds. But no, would not have even entertained the idea of dating someone over 30.
 
Nope it is fine. If you respect her and treat her well you should be OK. My one concern would be that someone who is 16 is probably not experienced enough to be 'good company' out side of the possible physical aspects of your relationship - just saying. Anyhow good luck. (NB Cobol74 would not approve if she were 15).
 
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