This is hard, so many cars I don’t like…
Dodge Caliber, is it a hatchback? Is it a Sedan? Is it a small Crossover? CVT? of course! 2.4L with less power and mileage than a turbo 1.8T? perfect!
Chevy Lumina. But for me this car will encompass all FWD GM cars from about mid-late 80s-2013. I hate them all and think they are a stain on society. They are not fast, good performing, and every one of these generation of cars seemingly can never have a working muffler, so they just make this mid-frequency "bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh" noise that rattles your chest when near you.
Ford Fiesta Sedan. A car built because "Americans like sedans"
Nissan Rogue. Which this encompasses all Nissan crossovers for me. They're neither good nor bad, have boring engines, outdated interiors, driven by overweight middle aged women with poor road manners.
Ford Expedition. This effectively was the replacement of the Bronco and was worse in every way. Crap engine, corroding tailgates, shit interior, leaky sunroof, peeling paint, and bad exhaust manifolds, you hear these cars before you see them thanks to exhaust tick.
Dodge Caravan. Lifter tick, paint comes off in sheets, and the sliding doors were so hard to move. They didn't slide nicely at all.
90s Caprice. These make my irrationally angry when I see one on the road while also giving me creeper middle age man in a white t-shirt vibes.
Both generations of the Taurus before the resurrection in the 20010s. Don't last long, have myraid of problems, expensive suspension repairs so you often see second gens like this model with collapsed rear suspension.
Chevy Trailblazer/GMC Envoy. The shape of an SUV but there's no way that's going off road. Guys my age buy these because they're cheap, mod them especially with putting those FUCKING TERRIBLE "WHITE" HEADLIGHT BULBS in that just end up blinding everybody and are driven like dicks.
1992-1997 Crown Victoria. Looks frumpy, had an unreliable intake manifold that is prone to leaks, real crap interior. They were trying in my mind to make a full sized body on frame car from the what... 70s? to appear smaller than it was with those thin front and rear.
2 different generations of Dodge Durangos. I don't mind the current model, that's a very nice car.
US market VW Passat or NMS Platform Passat in case the Passat is ever updated in the US. All this is, is a bigger Jetta with suspension tuned for the US road network. I've driven these and they drive well if a slight on the floaty side, I get what they were aiming for. That said, I would feel like I've given up on life if I get one of these.
Hyundai Sonata, specifically, this generation. What made someone think simultainously someone wanted a car with eyes that have no eyebrows and a fat belly being pushed forward? You can lump the Hyundai Azerea in there as they're mostly the same just that is a little bigger.
Honda Accord
Toyota Corolla - The only redeeming factor is these is bascially the worlds fastest rental car. I have a strong distaste for all things Toyota as they all seem to have a smell of cats or litter box to me inside. And these cars echo like a van, it's so weird.
Kia Rio
Kia Forte
Maybe that's enough for now. I can't decide on what 3 car garage, I hate all of these equally.