Pee aiming

[klutch]

Need some help.

I always pee to the side of the toilet to make the least noise possible since I'm just such a courteous gentleman. However, in my older years I've noticed I've lost some of my skill, that and the combined factor that some toilets have a considerable amount of standing water in them... puts me in quite a pickle.

Aiming is not the problem, I can hit a fly from 8 feet away; it's the stream that causese my dilemma. My stream used to be smooth and well kept together like a garden hose at half speed... so smooth you could see yourself in it. Now, however, it starts out smooth but as soon as I get some good pressure flowing, it starts to fan out like a plugged showerhead and the result is a good amount of pee all over the floor and walls.

I thought this would be fixed with the growing hippie movement to save water which results in a larger white area to aim at, but the spray has become so uncontrolled THAT doesn't even help.

Suggestions?

 

[bartboy9891]

if you are really that concerned, sit down

 

[klutch]

Mine hit's the bottom of the toilet.. standing is the only option!

 

[-Cpt. J.-]

Go see a doctor about the spray and a shrink about your dilusions of having a 2foot penis.

 

[klutch]

If you don't realize the gravity of the situation Cpt. J.... I recommend you keep your comments to yourself.

Rogue pee related incidents are at their all time high. This is not a laughing matter.

 

[Buba]

Man, you really gotta be bored... 2 of those craposts (new word, just for you!) today...

 

[klutch]

Thanks...extra time is something I actually don't have on my hands... it's fucking busy here... this is my only non-stressful outlet.

Something I DO have on my hands though, is a whole lot of useless piss.

 

[-Cpt. J.-]

Spank the monkey man... its an excellent way to kill time and relieve stress.
Click here and start whacking away.
Remember the harder you spank that monkey the more "groovy" you get
Here is a video to get you in the mood. Its one of those "interactive" videos meaning it's like your right there doing what the people on the video are doing. http://www.riemurasia.net/jylppy/displayimage.php?pos=-2085 =)

 

[toma_alimosh]

Will someone give Klutch an "I'm so bored I'll post anything" title or something ??

 

[BlaRo]

You know, it's not that uncommon a problem. You just gotta tip it downwards, use your fingers and apply a bit of pressure at the tip to direct it into wherever you need to go. Make sure pee doesn't run down your hands and onto your pants, because everybody knows how awkward that is (try doing it naked for practice, if you get any on your crotch then change your finger positioning). If you do it right, you should be able to adjust the direction so that the stream hits the ceramic side of the toilet at an angle sufficient enough to make no noise at all, like some sort of peeing stealth ninja. The stream will flick off from the side and krinkle down into the water, but don't worry, that's silent as well. Trust me on this, I'm a professional.

I hope I didn't say any of that out loud.

 

[ryosuke]

i have the solution for you!

http://img80.imageshack.**/img80/3332/scopeiq7.jpg

 

[flyingfridge]

^^

 

[klutch]

I have had further recommendations:

I will report back if successful.

 

[klutch]

I will report back if successful.

Not recommended. It hurts. And now something's stuck.

I tried earlier using your method Blaro, but the more I played with it, the harder it became to point it down...

 

[Jacobfox]

LOL^^

Spend less time on the bike and more in the car...
The vibration from the engine is messing up ur plumbing.

I also like the sniper scope idea. Would be good for my bro who always pisses on the seat.

 

[BlaRo]

I tried earlier using your method Blaro, but the more I played with it, the harder it became to point it down...

Then you'll definitely be missing the toilet then.

 

[SL65]

Fuck a duck, I LOL'ed when I finished reading your post!

Suggestions?

Yeah any suggestions for a new title other forum members?? I'm running a bit slow right now and can't think of any good ones.

 

[the Interceptor]

Putting on less pressure should work well. The problem you have is that the speed the fluid leaves your body is too high, so you get turbulences at the outlet. Apply less pressure, and the stream should stay tidy. You'll spend another 5, maybe 10 seconds on the toilet, but I think you can live with that.

Oh, how 'bout the picture of those chicks on a bike - any chance of getting it in a high resolution?

Regards
the Interceptor

 

[gtrietsc]

Just when you think you have seen every kind of forum post...

 

[Top Geek]

Um...er...wow...this is weird...