Kill a dream

Granted, the wish remains, you however suddenly fall ill with pneumonia, avian flu, sars, mad cow disease, ebola, necrotizing fleshiitis, lupus and a bad case of the sniffles.

I wish i could juggle.
 
Granted! Unfortunately it's only with your hamsters testicles.

I wish I was getting a blow job, from a girl that meets my standards (i.e isn't a man), right now.
 
Enjoy your own grandmother's toothless BJ.

I wish my yoyo was blue, not red.
 
Granted, but it's got a big red sticker on both sides of it.

I wish Ed Norton would make more awesome movies faster.
 
Granted but you are stricken with blindness by a plague.

I wish there were more hours per day.
 
Granted, but now you have to work 14 out of 30 hours each day.


I wish I had a time machine I could use to invest in Exxon in 1973.
 
Granted but you forget to get period money and they won't take your bills from 2006.

I wish I had a bigger fridge.
 
Granted, but the fridge door is the same size as your current one.

I wish I could sleep when I wanted, for as long as I wanted, wake up when I wanted, and always feel refreshed whenever I do, no matter how long I sleep.
 
Granted, but because you're always late for everything, your gf/wife leaves you, you're fired, thrown out of your apartment and have to wake up refreshed every day in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere.

I wish when i woke up in the morning my mouth didn't feel like i've been munching carpet (and not the fun variety, either).
 
Granted, it now feels like you're munching toes (and not those of a hot gf/wife either).

I wish I wasn't so hungover.
 
Granted! Your room mate comes in every 1 minute to smack you 10 times in the head as hard as he can.

I wish I had a fully restored, running, 88 or newer Maserati Biturbo that was more reliable then a Honda and Toyota combined, and I had the keys, and the tires don't blow out or go flat, and I don't get in a wreck.
 
Granted, but it's from some tiny nation that doesn't exist anymore and it was issued to someone else (but hey, at least you have the card).

I wish the brake linkage on my bike was easier to fix.
 
Granted but the linkage is now the rim style brake from a push bike.

I wish my phone would full charge in 1 minute.
 
Granted, but the full charge also lasts only 1 minute.

I wish people wouldn't diss my comic so much. :(
 
Granted, now they ignore it entirely.

I wish I had this bike:
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Granted, but now your in jail for stealing that bike.

I wish I had an E39 M5
 
Granted, but now you have to share a cell with me!

I wish I had could share this cell with Zooey Deschanel instead of a CrazyRussian
 
Granted, too bad she has a penis.

I wish I could be enjoying life in Hawaii right now
 
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