The Final Gear Wacky Races - RACE THREAD.

After waking up and realizing that the race started today and not tomorrow, I quickly put on my bike shorts and lubed the Bugatti's chain.

And I'm off.
 
The Granada Coupe has now regained five places. Tyrone suggests using the nitrous system that was not used during testing. Using it certainly works, and we blast into the lead, only to spin off violently at the first corner we come across, bounce off an American spectator, and spin back across the road, causing all the ornaments to fall off the dashboard.
 
With so many accidents in the first few minutes, the pile of rust manages to crawl up to 15th with Dickie at the wheel. It's already difficult to dunk biscuits at this speed though.

I've been told that Dastardly has a surprise in store already for the "rat" powered team, as he's been feeding them cabbage in the night for the last few days!
 
(somewhere far from anywhere near resembling a race track)

Hrmm...desert...forest...sky...I think that was Belgium back there...I'm in trouble. This wont do, I'm gonna have to stop and fix a giant wing to the back for added downforce to get around corners. Abracadabra...
 
Battling furiously to regain the lead, Scuderia Gman-Lurker Brown Shakedown turn on the bright green quadruple halogen stadium headlights on the George Foremanator and instantly the other contestants are crippled by the SUPERCALAFRAGILISTIC green light!

They ALL crash into the many oaks, placed conveniently on the side of the road, while The George Foremanator zooms past, with Gman exclaiming "Haha Suckers!" at the other contestants, through his alloy-wheeled speakers. :shifty:
 
Oh no! The guinea pigs are all pooped out! Having been in a comfortable lead since the start, i can't help but watch the cars zoom by as I comfort the poor little panting guys by scratching them behind the ears.

This requires a strategy rethink!

* IceBone calls his mummy for a consult.
 
Oh no!!!! 25 minutes in and the EF1 in the rear has blown a turbo. Gotta stop and fix it... It's gonna take some time. Hang on... wait, maybe I'll find a spare one somewhere.



GOT IT!!!! And we're back underway. But behind Team Brick-Shothouse, with matt2000 and Dick Dastardly.
 
I got overtaken by a tiny bug!
 
Meanwhile, still by the side of the road, Team Parklife are still trying the get the stalled car started by the side of the road. Expecting to hear the sound of the entire field rusing by, only the Formanator is seen, and the sound of the destruction of many oaks is heard the the background.
 
Settling in now in cruise mode, Alain is now telling us about how horrible it was back in 1984, to drive a car with gynormous amounts of power in the wet around tight streets in Monaco. It's astonishing to see him calmly saying about all the troubles that the field had in that race, and how he wanted it stopped. Didn't tell us, however, how Senna caught him in the Toleman. He just said that he couldn't explain it to himself.
 
Car computer shows 28 degrees centigrade outside, so I slow down to 40 kph and take the roof down. After 20 seconds the roof is down and I realize that I've lost mi place, accelerating as hard as I go back to 15th.
 
After a transmission change due to the car not being able to move off the line, The Lola is off, with me at the wheel, steadily overtaking the slower or crashed out opponents. Clay is in the support truck, ready for the first driver change as they race (Baja 1000 style) towards our planned first service stop.

/Whoever destroyed our gearbox is going to pay, dearly! :shakefist:
 
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Holy sh**? Where am I? I'm surrounded by R10s, 908s, RS Spyders, Lolas, Zyteks, Astons and so on... I've gone forward in time and my Focus is at Le Mans!!! Gotta find a way to sneak out of the track at the end of the Mulsanne... or to go backwards like the DeLorean. So there isn't only one time-travelling car in this field... :p

(And I distinctly remember seeing a crashed R10 and a Lola B08/80 leading the race...)
 
Being a bit late at the start, because our both drivers were still unable to settle for which music to play during the race, and because Baron Stiggie is of the Stig persuasion, meaning he always wears a helmet, headphones were not an option, the team had to find another solution. So we built Herr Baron a new helmet with built-in 20KW PA system, and noise cancellation technology so the "music" as he calls it can only be heard inside the helmet itself.
Team 4th Reich has a nice challenge ahead of them to catch the rest of the competitors. Being equipped with dual tracks, roads are not always necessary to get to where we want to be, so we set off in the general direction of where we think the finish is.
The espresso machine is doing overtime, keeping Adunaphel awake because he spent the entire night playing Guitar Hero with the rest of the team to celebrate the completion of the White Prussian of Doom, rather than sleeping (of course the Baron won all games he played, because of his super-fast reflexes and extreme ability to push colored buttons, like all racing drivers).
 
After manning the George Foremanator once more and disengaging auto-pilot, Gman and Lurker find themselves driving past some Mexicans. They stop to stock up on some Mexicans for their enormous rocket pod which shoots various animals including one or more of sheep, lions, rabbits, terrorists, chickens, Mexicans, Hippos and commies.
 
After seeing a red 4x4 stuck in the woods near the track, team Brick-Shothouse go in to help, despite complaints from the team co-driver, who doesn't seem to like helping people (Land Rover drivers always help lesser 4x4s).
 
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