The Final Gear Wacky Races - RACE THREAD.

Team Wacky F1 has caught the black hole and we are in a close second place between LeMansGTR and Team Gman-LurkerPatrol. The night shift went without incidents.
 
After battling furiously with vikirad, LeMans GTR, American TG Man (who had caught the leaders by this stage) and a giant puerile watermelon by the name of Walter Melon (see what I did there? :p) Scuderia Gman-Lurker seize the lead.

'twas an epic battle with their Koenig's egg launcher having to work in overdrive. Many, many animals including one or more of eggs, sheep, lions, rabbits, terrorists, chickens, Mexicans, Hippos and commies were sacrificed by the Scuderia in this epic battle. Also one of the g-string shot by Gman from the g-string booster had managed to get stuck in one of LeMan's wheels! (Success!) With the George Foremanater sustaining extensive injuries it was lucky for the Scuderia that Lurker had decided to pack lots and lots of band aids before the race, unlike the other teams. With a quick bit of band-aiding action, the George Foremanter was as good as new!

Lurker decided that this was the perfect opportune for him to take a pee on the side of the road; as the other teams were out of action. Unluckily for him, one of the stray lions shot by our rocket pod which had manged to survive the fall decided to chase Lurker, who had to abandon his pants to save his life.

With the other teams either broken, destroyed or limping to the pits, and Lurker driving (PANTLESS! :D) the George Formanator crusaded on, towards the inevitable finishing line...

:tease:
 
Last edited:
Ah no! Screech!

Team LMGTR spins out onto the sand, but not to worry, I quickly lay a mine in front of myself which then explodes causing my car to perform a barrel roll in mid-air and thus destroying the g-string in the process, with that problem solved I fire missiles into the back of vikirad flipping him upside down.


(How could you do that Gman? I gave you lattes and offered you scrambled eggs! :mad:)
 
Gman says the following to the other contestants through his alloy-wheeled speakers: "Sorry guys, one of our damn sheep pressed the red 'Do Not Push' button and all hell broke loose. Then you guys fired back and we had no choice but to defend ourselves... Lurker! Get some pants on damn-nabbit... oh, is this thing still on?"
 
Missiles have damaged the Renault-Gordini EF1 yet again. Fortunately, I've got a Honda V6t spare. Rolled the car back on its wheels, slotted it in, and now I'm back in the race.


Mr. Hill is now behind the wheel for the penultimate stint.
 
Whappeh; check post #171. you're ghost-riding for fun by this point!

The titan barrels along at full clip, still phased to a secondary plane, hits the massive black hole and forces the behemoth back into normal function. Unnoticed, and unscathed, the Mobile apartment building swapped just in time to slide on someone's leftover runny eggs and, to Serj's great surprise, puts the Truck into a wild 920 spin, almost roundhousing LeMans GTR, missing by mere millimeters thanks to that land mine. the Terex Titan utterly obliterrates the tire wall and several sections of stands containing a few die-hard fans and their spouses napping. The clatter echoing for miles.
 
I wake up to find that Dastardly has escaped, and we've not moved all night. Now we are miles behind the other racers, and it looks like someone has rammed into the back of the landy, bending the back and so the rear cross member is touching the floor. Looks like they used it as ramp of something. What's this? Sleeping tablets?

DASTARDLY :shakefist:

It's looking pretty grim, the rear diff is making a loud grating noise at any speed above 4, so it needs to be fixed quickly. Luckily, after a few miles at 3mph, I drive past a drag strip. Even luckier, there are a few Range Rover based dragsters in the car park.

Yoink.

Back at full speed, and after bending the bodywork back into shape, I decide I need to go over a mountain to close the gap. Before I go up though, I really need a slash.

As I'm standing in the bushes, something shiny catches my eye. A crashed space ship, a bit like the one ET has, is in the trees. maybe they have a warp drive?
 
Serj backs out the titan, and gets it back up to speed. After several system checks, he sets the autopilot with Merlin keeping an eye out, and retires back to the movie theater, falling asleep in a big armchair with some artsy movie and a tub of popcorn.
 
We rejoin Red Bull Racing, who are still running strongly, and closing in on the leaders with just over four hours to go. After an uneventful nightshift (cdbob's nuke didnt affect us, we're in a Canyonaro for Christssakes...heh, see what I did there? :p), Crazy Dave (och aye tha noo muthfuckers) hands back over to the team leader who will complete the race.

However, when we last reported on RBR's progress, the police had tracked us down and were closing in. We recieved word late last night about a "horde of military and police vehicles" from Team DS Racing's Red Bull Lola entry. We manged to hold them off for several hours, but just now a police chopper has buzzed past and has surely called in reinforcements! We're prepping the Anti-aircraft missiles, and are ready to take offensive action. More as the story develops...

Hang on, that looks like BigDaveDogg's somewhat ravaged looking whore parked by the side of the road...I think a five minute break is called for...:cool:
 
Last edited:
*serj snores loudly as the massive diesel apartment building storms through the twilight hours*
 
He's here! He's late but essentialatom has finaly woke up and joined the race! He goes for the flux capacitor... eighty-eight miles an hour... what the... INDIANS!!!!! A problem with the car has sent essentialatom-Walken Racing not just to the back of the pack, but to the year 1885! Hopefully the Doc, their chief mechanic and now a resident of this year, can help them patch the car up and... return to the present.
 
Meanwhile, Lurker has managed to find some pants...

After an eventful night, Gman and Lurker are both feeling a bit tired but a few minutes (and 100s of caffeine filled black coffees) later they're back on form! Nothing's gonna stop the George Foremanator and Scuderia Gman-Lurker to be victorious!
 
Last edited:
Yugo is still going strong. Undressing due to tremendous speed now consisitng only of wheels, engine, driver seat, cassete player and a grill to which the co-driver is still safely attached.
The gas station robbery in the night paid of. We are full of gas and candy bars.
Waiting close behind for the top contenders to kill themselves.
 
Team Wacky F1 has been sidelined permanently by a bout of cold for the team leader. This team can be considered an official retirement with 2 hours to go...
 
With only small breakdowns and a couple of mistakes since the last update, we pull into the pits for the day driver change. I'm back!!!

*drives off I a slightly smaller cloud of smoke*
 
FDaihatsu uses his special item from eBay: AWD transformation kit! Now the Copen is 4 wheel drive and FD does proper drifts for a Japanese Keicar. With that, team FD is back on the race, on 22nd place! The Copen slides nicely on the corners, cutting off jakifirbec's Yugo on the way. :p
 
Haha yes! I'm still one of the front runners!

With only an hour and five minutes to go I overtake DSRacing and lay a mine in front of them, after this I catch up to Gman right before overtaking him mid corner while power sliding, in the lead I lay down some oil slick which I promptly set on fire by pulling a 360 spin and shooting it while spinning.
 
Six police cruisers have swept over the oncoming hill. I hold straight on my line and charge through them, sending my wanted level up to four stars. I can hear the chatter of a machine gun from the helicopter, but a missile fired from my missile launcher takes care of that. Unfortunately for Gman333-X-Ferrari and Lurker, the wreckage falls right on top of their vehicle, obstructing their path towards certain glory...(oops, sorry mates...:p)
 
After pausing momentarily to mourn the loss of choas, chaos-Hitchcock Racing lights up their final two solid-fuel rockets, and lobs a few rounds of Super Soaker fire at teams FD and the Yugo. Desperate to gain places, Alfred Hitchcock unleashes Vertigo on nearly all the opposing teams, making them sick to their stomachs.

On the way through the ranks, however, the Electric Giraffle seems to have scooped up a foil-wrapped shopping cart, and chaos is seen attaching one of their spare wheels to it. "Honest" Abe Lincoln doesn't look to happy about this, and starts stealing from cHR's marshmallow supply. Hitchcock, being a founding member of the "I Heart Marshmallows And They're All Mine!" club, is outright furious at such blatant purloinery, and begins charging up the Tesla coil...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top