Jeremy Clarkson's 48 best quotes

vRS

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Autotrader have been celebrating Clarkson's 48th birthday by providing his best 48 quotes, the highlights for me are:

1. [On the Enzo Ferrari] ?I rang up Jay Kay, who?s got one, and said: ?Can we borrow yours?? and he said, ?Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.?

4. ?Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary... that?s what gets you.?

28. ?I?d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.?

30. ?Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you?ve got the ebola virus and you?re about to sneeze.?
44. ?This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that?s much to shout about. That?s like saying ?Oh good, I?ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!??

46. ?I?m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you?ve got even half a scrotum it?s not going to happen.?

47. ?The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.?

48. ?I don?t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do??

The rest are here http://www.autotrader.co.uk/EDITORIA...st_quotes.html
 
Link isnt working here :(
 
The pic they have there i just about the best one to go with his quotes:

jeremy_clarkson_hair.JPG


Edit: I loved this quote (which wasn't included in the list). "Now every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with GTI on them and frankly I'd rather blowtorch my nipples off"
 
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40. [On a Chevrolet Corvette] ?The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won?t let me turn the traction control off!?

That was actually during the 300C, Jag and Monaro review wasn't it?
 
That was actually during the 300C, Jag and Monaro review wasn't it?
Yup. It wasn't the only thing they got wrong

19. [When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel]?When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ?Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!? They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.?
It wasn't through a tunnel and while the message is right, the words aren't.
 
17. ?The highlight of my childhood ? it?s the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it?s full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was kind of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly.?

One of my favorties
 
18. [Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] ?Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn?t move an inch.

:lol: That is just so wrong, which is what made that line so funny!!
 
peh. He has too many good quotes they missed and to and to be honest i would rather just watch re-runs then celebrate his work through mis-quotes on a used car website.
 
44. ?This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that?s much to shout about. That?s like saying ?Oh good, I?ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!??

very funny list

and kudos to the dude who wrote the article. He has to sit and watch every episode of topgear for a living.
 
... being bashed on the interweb for being too stupid to actually check the quotes - priceless. :lol: :p

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Top_Gear (for a start)

[...]and kudos to the dude who wrote the article. He has to sit and watch every episode of topgear for a living.
no he didn?t ... he got too many wrong to have done that.
 
Is it...

Is it...

Is it guite sad i rember most of them :|
 
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