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I thought the funny part was the guy on the right obviously perving out to the woman with the bottle. Yes?

Don't try to have small talk with someone whose job requires that they process people through their queue quickly. Go for the very direct approach: "I think you are stunningly beautiful and would love to take you out sometime. I'm going to write my number down and give it to you. If you'd like...

Or just as bad: companies who try to offer "helpful" advice so you won't use their phone center. "Did you know you can get help online? Just visit att.com and click the "live assistance" button." No, I fucking can't, because you provide my fucking internet connection, which doesn't fucking...

Nowhere near Loupot's. I am disappoint. Senior year for you, isn't it? Where are boot pics?

Anyone in the biological sciences, my company (specifically the Austin site) is filling about 25 positions as the result of a site shutdown in California. Everything from manufacturing to planning to management. An associates' degree is enough for some of the positions. PM me if interested.

So untrue. Bananas are 44 cents a pound at most grocery stores. It just doesn't get any cheaper than that. Really, it is all about how lazy you are. When I am scrounging the bottom of my bank account, I have to go to the grocery store about every 3 days. This is because the cheapest thing in...

^Even worse: "Hi, can I speak to Bill?" "No, sorry, there's no Bill here. I think you have the wrong number." "But this is the number he gave me!" I can't help that! Yell at Bill!

I absolutely agree with you about atheism. Just because I don't ascribe the awe and beauty of the universe to some daddy figure in the sky doesn't mean I don't see it as awesome and beautiful. In fact, I probably see more awe and beauty in it, because I understand it better, because I constantly...

My other issue with the Red Cross is that they harass people during drives. They used to set up in the building I worked in at university. Because I'd had so many problems giving with them I didn't want to give during their drives, but they would pester me four times a day (going to work, going...

I agree both that it is much better, and that you need to cut it shorter. Forget paying for a haircut, you can do it yourself or find someone who can, most likely. It needs to be short enough that it doesn't touch your collar in the back, your ears on the sides, and your eyebrows in the front...

I don't know if I mentioned this here or not, but the quality of the blood donation experience depends a lot on the phlebotomist. I won't give to the Red Cross anymore because their people were so bad at finding my veins and observing me properly. After 3 consecutive botched attempts (not on the...

No no, you're free to say whatever you like about whoever isn't my girlfriend. I am faithful. :)

I think this may be crossing from "annoyance" to "you might get murdered if you keep that up": people who flick their cigarettes out of their cars when the state is mostly on fire. Honestly, are they unaware of how wildfires start? Do they not realize they're the reason Austin is burning...

Hey! You be nice to my future girlfriend!

The ren faires here have mostly given up on trying to be representations of the actual Renaissance and instead have embraced what they actually are: fantasy dress-up playgrounds for dorks. I am a big fan of this because the food is better and they've stopped pricing things in ? and started...

You guys just live in the wrong state. All the funnel cake I've had here is perfect. At the local ren faire (yes, I'm that kind of dork) they even cover it in all sorts of toppings, like chocolate and bananas and strawberries. Mmmmmmmmm, ren faire food....

GRtak, reminds me of a couple of weeks ago on the highway. One asshole is tailgating everyone, weaving in and out of traffic, cutting people off, generally acting like a douche. A couple of miles down the road a county sheriff pulls into traffic and immediately pulls the guy over. I could see...

Ooooo, yes please!

People who drive with their hazard lights on. Yes, we know you're going super-slow. Obviously. There's a huge line of cars behind you. What we can't tell is if you're about to turn, because you have no fucking blinkers when your hazards are on. All we know is that your dumb ass is slowing to a...

Jeebus, your chick is adorable! If you break up can I have her number? :D