[10x02] October 14th, 2007

Austere

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I'm about to write what will undoubtedly become a very lengthy and long-winded diatribe on the current state of Top Gear. I'm not going to hold back on what i thought were the weaker moments and I'm not going to spend much time talking about the bits I enjoyed. I'm not going to pretend that the TV show has feelings and I might hurt them. I don't care that i don't live in England or that I don't pay the BBC that silly TV tax you suckers have to pay. My opinions are my own and if you don't like hearing the cold, hard truth don't read this shit. upyourego, i'm looking in your direction...:p

I didn't comment on the first episode because I wanted to let the show find its feet, so to speak, before I formed a proper opinion. Now that i've seen episode two i've got a good vision of things to come. And I don't like it. :(

It had a few laughs, not enough cars and loads of shitey filler. Just like the abominable season 9. (I'm sure some of you hatefully remember my opinions of that season from back in the day.)

The R8 review was good by normal, TV standards like you'd find on Fifth Gear or Some Other Car Show but by Top Gear standards (the standards they themselves set, for themselves!) it was a limp-wristed load of unimaginative sleep-inducing mediocrity. Two grey cars driving in circles around a grey bit of pavement on a grey day. They never used to do this! Ever! All their reviews had a little something in them to make them special or interesting. Sometimes it was nothing more than a cheap, see-through gimmick but "gimmicks create interest where originally there was none". Remember when James took that XJ6 to Birmingham? That was just a cheap gimmick but he worked the fuck out of it and made that review into something magical and whimsical!
This review had nothing. Not a god damn thing. It was just a man in a car and nothing more. I can see that shit anywhere. Even Tiff can do that shit and he has all the personality of a Communion Wafer.

Speaking of which, How many times is Jezza going to find someone in the audience who looks faintly like Jesus and make a joke about it like he's never done it before? What is this, the fourth time?

The Porsche pipes were funny. Especially James who looked right at home. :lol: I do wish they'd pick on him a bit less tho... You know, sometimes I would actually like to hear the ends of his sentences rather than their stupid jokes at his expense.

Bah, anyway...

I knew exactly what he was getting at when he was comparing the Ferrari Scuderia to cheese because I've had the same thought about batteries! Why do they have so many different levels of longevity like Standard Duty, Heavy Duty and Super Heavy Duty? Why aren't they all just as good as they can be?

The boat thing was an ungodly mess. I swear they could have trimmed it down to half the time! It was like a 15 minute segment squeezed into 30 minutes. Why did we have to see the drive out to Dover? Absolutely nothing of note happened! If you're about to say that it was worth sitting through the whole drive just to see that brief moment where Hammond looked loaded don't bother because you're wrong. Sure, there were a few laughs and it was pretty damn cool when they made it to Prance but we've seen this boat caper before and it was much better the first time.

The Star In A Reasonably Priced Car segment is just dead weight now. Even when it's not bad it's still pretty bad. Terry Kiser should sue them for stealing his shtick! yuk, yuk, yuk.

I sat through the ep and it's not better than season 9. It's not 'back to its good old self' like I had hoped it would be and like so many of you have claimed it to be.

I'm going to keep downloading each episode in hope that some parts will be worth watching. Then I'm going to come in here and give my thoughts because that's what this place is here for. Those of you with an ounce of wit will simply know not to read them and those of you who like this current season will read them and then bitch and moan at me like little girls.... And so goes this thing of ours... ;)
 

Matt2000

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PORSCHE PIPES! wonder how many millions of pounds one of those costs?

great ep, news was great IMO. Jools was okay as a guest, but not as interesting as some others.

loved the amphi cars again, but that was an insane challenge. Hamster obviously hadn't managed to get the foam right this time either, and i think May's Triumph had rusted away since the last challenge, it didn't really work at all this time.

i'm genuinely surprised that JC's Nissank worked (why no hilux?) and they got across. i had to laugh when Hamster grabbed the rope on the slip way, like he would be able to pull it out by himself :lol:

loved it, and no ep next week is just ghey!
 

upyourego

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Those of you with an ounce of wit will simply know not to read them

I'm going to continue reading them because I like to hear other peoples opinions - even if I completely disagree with them - I've been a bit hard line over the licence fee thing in the past - sorry - you guys pay for Top Gear etc... in other ways (through BBC (not just TG) merchandise, dvds, magazines and by watching BBC shows on channels where you live).

You'd be suprised to know I agree with some of your points - I think the Star segment has had its day - its an old joke thats been told one time too many and should be put to sleep before I ends up infecting the rest of the show.

I'm sure there is an alternative they can come up with to the star segment - they're clever blokes.

I'm not a big fan of car reviews either - at least not the ones where they go round and round a track - its dull - I agree that some kind of gimmick helps make it more tolerable and stand out from the crowd - well the gimick+stig anyway.

As for the segment - my favourite bits of Top Gear are the challenges so I'm not going to agree on that one and I don't think we ever will but thats the beauty of a show like this - it appeals to everyone in bits and everyone else in other bits.

Plus it sounds like there is more in the next episode to suit your tastes as it looks more car + review centric.

Then you'll be able to see Jeremy taking commuting to bold new heights as he drives the world's smallest car to the Top Gear office.

Plus, James will be climbing aboard the new Rolls-Royce and probably having a thoroughly nice time. And the new Ferrari will be getting a comprehensive thrashing on the test track.
 

TJP

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A solid but unspectacular episode.

I agree with several posters that have posted not enough cars to too much "filler".

The news was the best segment (and only because of the Porsche pipes). The R8 vs. 911 was OK (I found 5th Gear's review was better), and the amphibious cars had already been done.
 

Martyn

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No, not really...

If you have a look at the end credits of Top Gear you'll see under "Script Editor" the name Richard Porter. Richard Porter (Also contribiuting writer to EVO Magazine) is actually the man behind the whole Sniff Petrol site.

I don't follow you, all I said was that they used a different image to the one displaying on Sniff Petrol, which seemed quite odd.
 

Stigggles

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Not too bad ... Jezzas & Hamonds cars were diferent from the previous attempt i think?? and also, has anybody noticed the amount of Slogan stuff going on inside the reassonably priced car, Momo,OMP,Recaro,etc.

Did anybody get the feeling that the beach they landed on was not french but english, i saw a suspisous number plate on a car that seem a lot like an english one.
 

DTMracer

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I gotta say, this was a bit of a let down after the first episode. However, I'm still glad that top gear is now back.

The R8 VS 911 review should have been longer, and stuff the stars in a reasonably priced car thing. Its so boring these days.
 

Interrobang

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[...]Did anybody get the feeling that the beach they landed on was not french but english, i saw a suspisous number plate on a car that seem a lot like an english one.
Well, the Top Gear Crew filmed the arrival from Land, so they will have been there and waited for them. It?s likley the white Range Rover you are talking about. And even if it is not the TG-Team, northern France is rahter popular with the Brits and holiday, so it wouldn?t be impossible for a british Car to been seen at a French Beach in Summer.

How to tell that it isn?t the british coast? Look at the shadows and the way they point. You?d have to travel some 100Miles from Dover to find a british Coast where the Beach points North, North West (hard to tell preciseley not knowing the exact time). It is very likley mainland Europes Channelshore ...
 

hajj

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ALSO! - NO TG NEXT WEEK!?! Because of Snooker? I say we do what all thos little fuckers who think Top Gear is to scary and complain to the BBC!


the bbc is very protective of snooker, cos it, along with golf, are the only sports they have.

Who is gonna prefer TopGear over the Worldcup final? Especially since that starts an hour before:? It's a good move to show something else next week.

The channel crossing was great. The R8 vs 911 review was good, but I am getting bored of seeing cars on the track. Last weeks scenery simply cant be beaten.
 

Interrobang

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^What are you, Columbo? :D
I?ve just watched too many CSI Episodes ... and tried to sort my Holiday-Pictures from a couple of years once out of a shoebox. And those damn beaches all look a bit the same (if there are no other Landmarks) ... so you need some evidence and shadows are rather good ones ... if you have some different coasts you try to sort out.
If so, can I have your car?
I wish I had Columbos Car ... I love those old french rust-buckets ... :)
 

DarkReaper

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Me being an avid Porsche Design buyer have to tell you though that "Porsche design" isn't exactly made by Porsche.

In fact the owner of Porsche design Ferdinand Alexander Porsche was the son of Ferry Porsche. He designed the Porsche 911 and after that he split up and founded the Porsche Design group. They were two separate independent companies, one designed cars and one made industrial design. In 2003 however Porsche bought Porsche Design and changed their Logo over to the known Porsche font.

Today the original Porsche Design products are only called Porsche Design while the Porsche products are called Porsche Design Driver's Selection.

Besides the Porsche stuff is cheaper than the Porsche Design stuff and I love them.
 

Queen of Meh

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Am I the only one here who's really liking the look of the R8?

I liked the look of the R8 to.

I too find myself zoning out with the celeb guest for some reason they don't seem to be as good as previous series. Top Gear is not back to its old form yet but I think it should be a bit like series 8, I think that had a better mix of challenges and reviews and it also had mini challenges i.e. Clarkson's designed S-CLass.

Still was a bloody hilarious and it seems they're trying out some new editing with the
R8 film which I liked

and i do hope they increase the amount of car reviews and bring back the cool wall
 

AnGuRuSO

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'Cause that's the Scene's rules (anything over ~42 minutes gets bumped to 700MB) and most people don't care about the size, so I put out what came out first (the Scene vs. Vuk).

I thought nameless was asking a stupid question, but it turns out there is a reason...

Anyway, great episode. The R8 review was real good, and that new Mclaren supercar was damn funny!
 

ruuman

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I thought it was a great episode, it was a bit all over the place. But it had plenty of nice moments.

The amphicars challenge was nicley dangerous, I'm glad they had another go at it. Shame James dingy was so crap, I think clarkson had a smaller engine compared to last time too. I was hoping to see his originaly twin deisgn!!

I do agree it would be nice to see some "road tests" rather than all tests be done on the track and maybe something other than hypercars.
 

Phila

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Someone mentioned it before, I can do without the cinematic widescreen bullshit at certain times in the programme.
 

Queen of Meh

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I'm surprised though that they haven't brought in Top Gear Dog to add to there homely scene with the News section
 

Stigggles

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In my opinion ... ep 2 has bought my expectations down hill a bit from ep 1.. nerver the less, the is still hope ... but not for another two weeks whitch is bullshit but anyway. The F1 grand finalli can replace it.
 
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