From: http://www.topgear.com/content/tgonbbc2/The Top Gear boys have safely returned to the studio from last week's African adventure, although Richard is still reminiscing about his holiday romance with his beloved Oliver.
So expect abuse on this week's show from Jeremy and James, this Sunday on BBC Two at 8pm.
In the news this week, they actually manage to find time to talk about cars; including the Mazda 6, Maserati Quattroporte Sport GTS, Subaru Impreza WRX Sti and Mitsubishi's I.
James also tells us why dogs should drive.
X Factor's Mr Nasty, Simon Cowell, is the star in the reasonably priced car, and after Richard got whupped by a Eurofighter a couple of shows back, this week he's at it again.
Only this time, he's driving an Aston Martin V8 Vantage Roadster against a man on some roller skates. With a jet pack strapped to him (no, not Richard).
The Caparo T1 has got itself a bit of a reputation lately with, amongst other things, catching fire and scorching Jason Plato, so the sensible thing would be to leave well alone. Jeremy goes the other way obviously, and attempts to tame the 575bhp beast before handing it over to the Stig for a hot lap.
This week also sees the return of another Top Gear epic, only it's a bit closer to home, with the boys finding the fastest way to get across London.
Oooh look, it's a Caparo. Pity that it's in such a horrible colour, but we'll let that slide for now. They'll tell you that it's not about looks but performance. As The Stig will attest.
On first glance this photo of Jeremy's tatty old deck shoes isn't very worthwhile featuring. However, on closer inspection you can see he's showing how low the Caparo is. Very.
Yes, power lap times. Now that is a good sign, considering that the Caparo's in the shot too. We can't get any indication from this how it did though, so you'll have to watch on Sunday.
Ah! but no ones ever done it in a power boat! My bets are on the boat, I think Hammond on the bike will just keep getting cut up and run over by middle-class bitches in Chelsea Tractors, Stig will just be waiting for a bus that doesn't exist, and May will be stuck in traffic.this will be great! i'm ashamed to say that i think the bike is going to win....remember clarkson in the fiat panda against the marathon runner...
yes i think that really confirms my fear. Instead of letting Hammond to drive a city car, they gave him a bike...that makes me think of series 9 againTop Gear race at rush hour sinks public transport
From the London Evening Standard a few weeks ago
Clarkson uses speedboat, Hamster a bike and Stig goes by bus
By: NICK CURTIS
IT'S a sight to make commuters green with envy and green activists white with fury.
In the middle of a Monday morning rush hour, Jeremy Clarkson zooms along the Thames at 60 knots in a racing boat. That's about 69.1mph, rather quicker than the 5mph managed by the average London driver.
Clarkson's conversion from wheel-based to water-bound transport was part of a stunt for the latest series of Top Gear. He and his fellow hosts on the BBC show pitted various forms of transport against one another in a race from Kew to London City Airport to see which was quickest.
James May took to the streets in a huge Mercedes GL500 off-roader. Richard Hammond, perhaps unwilling to risk a repeat of his nearfatal 300mph dragster smash last year, opted for a carbon fibre mountain bike.
Stig, the professional racing driver who appears anonymously on the show, was relegated to public transport.
He was also compelled to retain his disguise of helmet and jumpsuit, even on the bus.
Clarkson, as Top Gear's top dog, got the streamlined, powerful Honda 255 raceboat.
As these exclusive pictures from Motor Boat And Yachting magazine show, he built up a good head of speed, despite having to slow down occasionally for such obstacles as bridges, shopping trolleys and the occasional, slower river-user. There were, he said afterwards, moments when the boat was airborne, adding: "I'm ashamed to say that I lifted the throttle going under Tower Bridge." Yet the race result was not a totally foregone conclusion.
By river, the journey is 25 miles but there is an eight-knot speed restriction between Kew and Wandsworth Bridge and a lock to pass through on the way into the City docks.
By road, the distance is only 17 miles. But then, Monday morning traffic can be very bad. And "Hamster" Hammond's legs are very short. Those wishing to know who won will have to tune into the new series of Top Gear but the Evening Standard can reveal that it wasn't Stig.
We can also tell you that, having reversed the boat at speed into the lock wall, Clarkson fouled his propeller on a submerged rope on a run back up the Thames to shoot extra footage and had to be rescued by the following camera boat. You don't get that sort of problem on the roads, Jeremy.
The October issue of Motor Boat And Yachting is out this weekend. The new series of Top Gear begins on BBC2 on Sunday 7 October..
The challenge A race to London City Airport from Kew to find the quickest transport.
Jeremy Clarkson: Honda 255 race boat (69.1mph) Richard Hammond: carbon fibre mountain bike James May: Mercedes GL500 off-roader Stig: The bus Result: All we can reveal is that the bus didn't win.