[15x03] July 11th, 2010

[CD82]

Just to quote a few of you who had the same thoughts as me.

I have to agree. This was shaping up to be a rock solid 9, but the last 10 minutes really ruined it for me.(...)

Stuff like James "not on purpose" getting lost and Jeremy doing the retarded tape thing just makes me irritated. (...)

(...) The end of the saloons review REEKED of the end of episode 6 of series 9. Completely predictable, stupid and pointless. As soon as I heard the word "chauffeur," I instantly knew what was going to happen, and it panned out as expected. (...)

Yes at the exact moment they said they'd be chauffeuring a couple of people around I thought of the stretched limo segment. And Hammond saying he had never done any chauffeuring before isn't exactly true since they drove a couple of celebs around with their limos. I expected the usual:
- Jeremy driving very fast
- James getting lost
- Richard being very irritating and flipping into stupid- and annoying-mode for no reason
and that's exactly what we got with the wedding segment. Just too much playing into their stupid characters instead of being themselves.

Exactly. Sometimes I think about the moment James was introduced on the show, with that great review about his Bentley. He wasn't captain slow then, or captain gets-lost-all-the-time. He was just James May, a funny guy with some interesting things to say. This whole caricature thing needs to stop straight away. It's definitely getting better than a few series ago, but they still seem afraid to go back entirely to series 2-6. (...)

It so needs to stop. Every now and then poking fun at James for driving slowly and getting lost is appropriate, but building entire segments on that premise is just awful.

Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic... and then the last 15 minutes started. (...)

(...) Absolutely. The first part of the superlimos was great. Passion, exuberance, love of cars - it had it all, but it still felt like a sort of review. (...)

And then, the wedding. It started dropping like a rock when James had to be pedantic with no end in sight. Richard "deciding" to wait for the groom... right. And then he had to revert to his character of irritating little something-unmentionable. As for James getting lost time and time again - we've had that time and time again, it's as empty as a Scotsman's whisky bottle (using this one to prove the point about old stereotypes). It was so horrible I skipped everything after James "missing" the church for the second time. The only bright side was Jeremy and his passengers, who made it on time... woo hoo. (...)

I voted 5. I didn't think it'd be possible for Top Gear to produce another segment as cringe-worthy and pointless as the last chauffeuring film with the stretched limos, but they've managed to do it. As a result I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to watch this episode in its entirety again. (...)

The chauffeur segment was pretty much a total waste of air time. The Clarkson-humor (the pants? really?) was retarded, as per usual. James played the caricature of himself, which is utterly frustrating to watch, knowing his potential. And Hammond did whatever Hammond does these days. (...)

A really good episode until the last 10 minutes. James getting hopelessly lost (yet again!) results in Top Gear becoming a pastiche of itself. (...)

All in all a great episode, ruined by the last couple of minutes. Not even the power-sliding or drag race could make me feel better after that wedding segment. The guys can do clever humor, so why do they have to revert to "in your face"-attempts at comedy every now and then?

 

[Street Spirit]

Supersaloons Part 1 Fabulous. Just the right balance of proper reviewing and mucking about. The Maser looks good and sounds even better, but when I saw the Porsche driven by the Stig, I thought, "No barge has the right to move that fast!" It's a shame they didn't focus on the Aston more.

News More ridiculous laws cooked up by ecomentalists in power? What a surprise.

SIARPC Skipped right to their lap times. Barrichello sounded interesting, in a racing-driver-ish way. I was actually surprised he was faster than the Stig.

Muscle Cars Awesome, awesome cinematography. I particularly loved the shot when Hammond pressed the AMG "redneck" button as the camera pans out the sunroof. But as most have stated here, it is sort of mismatched. Why not make the Camaro race against the VXR8 instead?

Supersaloons Part 2 Ah, the wedding. It seems like the production team went into a meeting and decided they've done too much serious Top Gear this season and tried to make it up by cramming in as much as cocking about in 15 minutes. The result: Juvenile humor which almost made me turn it off and watch football instead.

On that miserable bombshell I only had one memorable line that's actually funny:

I'll do the bride's mother in the Porsche.

Me too.

 

[XYZviper]

I gave it 10. And I'm only 5 min in to the episode. And I was sure about my decision on the first min of the episode. Because of the pornography of the Quatrroporte, Rapid and the Panamera.

 

[Thrill Yeti]

Best episode since series 12 I'd say.

Amazingly they managed to make a completely entertaining and interesting film all about cars for once. The super saloon film was really excellent, and just shows how they are at their best when they are talking about cars together and not trying to fall over in case some of their viewers don't find cars interesting and will turn over.

Ken Block in the Reliant= Funny. I guess he will be either in the Cee'd or the Liana this series.

Barrichello was a good guest and as with any of the F1 interviews you can tell Jeremy is a big fan of the sport. However I thought the interview was too short, but it was nice to see someone beat the stig.

Muscle cars film was good, verging on very good. Felt like it could have been something from series 11 and was perfectly enjoyable.

Final part of the saloons film was scripted, but to be honest it was only as bad as every film from Series 14, and the drag race was still enjoyable, so it didn't take away from the episode that much.

9/10

 

[bobla]

Easily the worst episode of the season. Lame, predictable jokes and the last segment made me cringe. The only good parts were Rubens and the sound of the Maserati.

 

[Thanatos]

I wont write anything better then CD82 and other people he mentions so a big +1 to his post. I agree completely.

 

[smoke]

Hi there, I'm new*.

Like several other people here, I really enjoyed it until part two of the three-way limo review. I find it quite hard to watch when the presenters are put in situations where, if it were me, I'd be dying of shame. So, as soon as it became apparent we were in for 'James acting Aspie' and 'James gets lost' jokes, I started skipping ahead. This may say more about me than the program - a lot of TV seems to include this sort of 'deliberately makes you cringe' humour these days, so maybe it's very popular and I'm unusual in finding it quite uncomfortable.

Overall though, and not commenting in the bits I've skipped over, I thought it was a very enjoyable episode. I'd really like to see the uncut News on the topgear.com website, though - I'd like to hear whatever the story was behind the dozens of toy dogs. And that odd black thingo on the table the other week, come to think of it. I'd personally rather have the uncut news than SIARPC outtakes.

*You know the story; long time lurker, first time posting something more involved than a naff introduction or a simple "thanks for uploading this vid". Please don't kill me.

 

[4G92Lancer]

Ugh, here's a Top Gear challenge...stop acting like a bunch of twits.

What really annoyed me was the claim at the end that it wasn't a setup. Uhh...yeah, actually, it WAS a setup. Sure, the wedding might of been real, but the mucking around was the same, inane rubbish they seem to repeat ad-nausium.

Look, they might act like goofy fools on screen, but there's no way they would deliberately ruin someone's special day for the sake of a few cheap laughs. They know it, we know it, so why on earth do they persist with this tired formula?

 

[Fusion]

When they went back to the salooncars, I actually thought "Great". Because the first segment of the test, while fun and entertaining actually left out the ability of those cars to actually be...four door saloon cars. For the first segment, they might as well have tested a DB9 versus a 911 versus a GranTurismo...

And that actually is the one positive factor of the Panameras looks (at least compared to the Rapide) - you can actually get and sit in the back. Seriously, look at the grooms friend in the back of the Rapide. I actually entered one on a car show - its ridiculous. The Quattroporte doesn't have this problems because it actually is much, much closer designed to a regular saloon than to a sports car. So I figured the Chauffearing stuff would prove to be a second part of the test - interior, seating, passenger comfort, luiggage - done in the Top Gear way. Top Gear the car show. Instead I got Top Gear the sitcom. And for a sitcom, its just not that funny...

Otherwise it was a mediocre episode imho. Don't understand the mixing of the E63 and the Camaro.

Overall, I think the presenters should spent less tiime joking about not being a "serious car show" (which I don't want them to be), but more time actually being a car show. :/

BTW: First post after some years of silent reading. Yeah.

 

[LindenChase]

Nobody whos marriage is in recent memory would find anything remotely funny about the bride being late; depending on her mood or outlook on life it could ruin the whole day, because the marriage ceremony is all about HER, and she alone.

Has it occurred to you that this part of programme was slightly scripted and that she was in on the joke? They obviously knew what they were in for and probably got a nice film of the wedding ceremony in return for their co-operation.

 

[Gibby]

I Gave this Episode a 9/10.

It's very strange seeing somewere near were you live on Top Gear. (4 door saloons in the Farnborough Business Park)

Can't really pick any holes in that Episode.

Great Work.

 

[Austere]

I thought it started off OK with the 4-door saloons. I really liked the fact that they didn't pretend to love the car they were driving and pretend to hate the cars driven by the other two. That was really good. They swapped cars and took turns and they each gave pros and cons. It felt real. It felt like the good old days, back when this show was good!

But it went downhill after the first bit of that segment.

The "star" in the 'a star in a reasonably priced car' segment seemed to be a little boy of about 14. I really don't know why he was on there and I didn't really care enough to find out. What could a 14 year old tell me that I don't already know? Maybe he could have talked about his recent memories of being breast fed? Or perhaps he could talk about social networking sites or wearing Converse All Stars? I dunno, anyway, I've been skipping that dead, dry, awful, way-past-its-prime segment for ages now and I skipped it here too. LOL, he had ginger hair. What a loser.

I watched the Rubens Barrichello bit. See, this is part of my problem with the whole thing; The interviews usually aren't very good. I don't often learn anything about the person or get any kind of impression of them, it's rarely funny or interesting... It's just a few minutes of light, shallow conversation. It's not really an interview at all. I dunno, maybe it's not meant to be... but whatever it is, it's usually dead fucking boring and this was no exception. It was cool, right at the end, to see how keen he was to find out his time but other than that, the segment had nothing at all.

I don't know why they compared the Camero to a Mercedes-Benz E-Class. Furthermore, I don't know why they kept calling it a Camero. I took some acid once. A white dude gave it to me. He said "here, take this; It's faaaar out."

The rest of it was shit. They should have tested the 4 door saloons some more instead falling back on the same old bad acting and stupid awful sight gags and unfunny jokes that fall flat.

 

[SirEdward]

ENJOYED IT. 8.5/10, though will round up, as 8/10 is too low IMHO. They launched right into it, and I really didn't have time to breathe until the end. (Well, perhaps a bit during the F1SIARPC and SIARPC segments...)

Wasn't particularly "special" overall, BUT it felt the way a Top Gear ep should feel. The film/combined review by the boys was bang on in Part I; not too silly, with some fantastic moments:

* "Manual...semi-automatic...oh, these are the weapons!" - JM
* Hammond = Mr. Grumbletrousers
* Clarkson repeatedly shushing James to hear the Maser (then having his crisis)
* "I have to say, I like the look of it now...it's behind that building." - Clarkson on the Porsche

Chauffeuring was a funny touch. Drag racing and powersliding at the end = lovely, but you just know they're going to forget about the church to the chagrin of the bride/groom/guests. Jeremy blackening his pants = heh. He lucked out with his passengers. However, TG playing up James' character a little too much, I could have done without. Spontaneous funniness IS possible and more satisfying, as the show's shown us in the past...

* "Where is he...? Or, you're already in." - May
* "If I've got whiffy pits, I apologise..." - Clarkson
* "James May can drive somebody to the edge of reason after three minutes." - Clarkson
* "You can remember this day every time you have a dump." - Clarkson

** NEWS **

Very car-newsworthy (4 people run over at Goodwood, Zonda-R around the N?rburgring, Ken Block...) and serious-ish (ie. no one ate any maps). Nice and bantery. And, the rolling Reliant joke continues... *waits for the grumbling/laughs* What was with those toys on the hosts' table?

* Nobody's watching...why don't you get naked? - Clarkson to cute girls
* "You ARE a pussy. A big, irritating one." = Hammond on Clarkson

** F1SIARPC **

Nice, easy interview. Super guy. And, he beats Stig's lap time!

** TEST TRACK REVIEWS **

(Hammond has owned a banjo...?) Redneck setting, heh. Cinematography, as always, was ace. As was that closing music track. (NB: Hammond, shorter hair not only suits you better, but is also easier to maintain. Maybe consider a cut...?)

Am glad they lap the cars round the track at the same time; that's nearing 2:00 more to devote to this week's film. So...will the vuvuzelas return for next week's show? Bets?

** SIARPC **

REALLY good idea to have Grint on; pulls in a different bit of an audience, one would think. He was engaging...and fast! Heh @ "So you weren't nursing a semi?" (Is Scorcese the one who's announced he's aiming to make Grint the "next DiCaprio-post-Titantic"?) I know many don't like this part of the show, but remember, utilitarianism rules in TV; Wilman & Co. has more than just you, me and Random Viewer X to satisfy.

Overall, very happy. But to each, his own!

What can I say that hasn't already been said on post numer 2? (two!)

 

[LindenChase]

The "star" in the 'a star in a reasonably priced car' segment seemed to be a little boy of about 14. I really don't know why he was on there and I didn't really care enough to find out. What could a 14 year old tell me that I don't already know? Maybe he could have talked about his recent memories of being breast fed? Or perhaps he could talk about social networking sites or wearing Converse All Stars? I dunno, anyway, I've been skipping that dead, dry, awful, way-past-its-prime segment for ages now and I skipped it here too. LOL, he had ginger hair. What a loser.

I hate to blow your bubble, but to most proper grown-ups there isn't much difference between a 26 (you) and 21 (Rupert Grint) year old. Also, Grint's fortune is estimated to be around $30 million dollar, which makes me wonder who out of the two of you is the actual loser.

 

[Austere]

I hate to blow your bubble, but to most proper grown-ups there isn't much difference between a 26 (you) and 21 (Rupert Grint) year old. Also, Grint's fortune is estimated to be around $30 million dollar, which makes me wonder who out of the two of you is the actual loser.

Him. It's him.

EDIT: Wait, his name is Rupert? LOL, that's even worse than my name! LOL. He's definitely a bigger loser than I am, for sure. No question. I mean, I know he auditioned for the role of a "redheaded sidekick loser" and landed the role on account of being a redheaded sidedkick loser and then fell totally ass backwards into money. And I know money means everything. And I know he probably talked about his money in the interview. And I know that your moneyness is all that moneys. But. And it's a big but. I have a Mercedes-Benz. And it's an S-Class. And the S-Class is the biggest one they make.

So there. How about that then? How's your precious little Rupert Grint holding up now next to my mighty awesomeness?

 

[otispunkmeyer]

First 45 minutes were good, the last was horrible. Absolutely HORRIBLE.

I would like to know: who here, who voted 8 or higher, is married?

Thought so. Nobody whos marriage is in recent memory would find anything remotely funny about the bride being late; depending on her mood or outlook on life it could ruin the whole day, because the marriage ceremony is all about HER, and she alone.

yeah but if you're knowingly going to let TG take care of things then i'd wager you wont be all that bothered so long as you get married at somepoint in the day. its not like they'll of just turned up out of the blue to fuck the day over.

im guessing the chance at their 15minutes on TV was ample payment for a non-standard wedding day.

 

[LindenChase]

Him. It's him.

EDIT: Wait, his name is Rupert? LOL, that's even worse than my name! LOL. He's definitely a bigger loser than I am, for sure. No question. I mean, I know he auditioned for the role of a "redheaded sidekick loser" and landed the role on account of being a redheaded sidedkick loser and then fell totally ass backwards into money. And I know money means everything. And I know he probably talked about his money in the interview. And I know that your moneyness is all that moneys. But. And it's a big but. I have a Mercedes-Benz. And it's an S-Class. And the S-Class is the biggest one they make.

So there. How about that then? How's your precious little Rupert Grint holding up now next to my mighty awesomeness?

Whatever mate. Still, his chances of getting laid, are so much bigger than yours.

 

[SchumacherM]

The whole James getting lost thing. I highly doubt he did that on purpose. The man has been on TG for 14 series now and still does not properly know the way to Dunsfold. That says a lot.

 

[persons0]

A solid 8/10. The biggest disappointment for me was the brief review of the Camaro (being from Oshawa and all) and the pointless comparison to the Mercedes. Both SIARPC segments were interesting and impressive. The three way comparison was also well done (first half) and that Porsche is just awful looking.
I laughed at the comment about the Stig not working properly when held a certain way.

 

[_HighVoltage_]

I liked the fact that they pitched the Camaro vs the E63. A Mustang or a Challenger would have been predictable, scripted, and done millions of times by Road & Track, Car &Driver, Motor Trend etc...

This was out-of-box thinking, and I liked it.

On the downside, I didn't like the second SIARPC segment. One per show is enough, and they should have stuck with Rubens.

And I agree with everyone that thinks the "James getting lost" act is getting really old. The cars DO have GPS's.