hopefully not a repost 
ACURA:
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AMC:
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI:
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW:
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
DODGE:
Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive
EDSEL: Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT:
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!
Failed Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD:
Friggin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Race Day
First On Recall Day
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Fails On Rainy Days
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Fault Of R&D
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Formed Of Rejected DNA
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Forlorn, Old, Rat-ridden Dustbin
Fork Over Repair Dough
Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odours Readily Detectable
Funny Old Rattling Dump
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
GEO: Good Engineering Overlooked
GM:
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Motors
Generally Miserable
Grossly Misconceived
Gluteus Maximus
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gets Mechanics Crazy
Got More Crap
Great Mountain Climber
Great Motor Car
GTO: Gas, Tires, Oil
HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructible Automobiles
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
JEEP:
Just Eats Every Part
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG: Money Guzzler
MGB: Might Go Backwards
MGF: Might Go Forward
MIATA: My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MOPAR:
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG: Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO:
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
PLYMOUTH: Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood
PONTIAC: Poor Old Nigger Thinks Its A Cadillac
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards
SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH:
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW: Virtually Worthless
Some typical car forum posts:
The typical post goes something like this...
Mercedes forum
- My wife and her a-hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court.
How do
I get them both killed and not get in trouble with my medical board?
Bentley Forums
- I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?
Camaro/Firebird Forums
- My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I
have a
record and I ain't going back.
Mustang (Chevelle )forums
-Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me.
Monte Carlo forums
-Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo.
Civic forums
-Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me.
VW Bug forum
- The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)
Yugo Forum
- When's the last time yours ran?
Lamborghini forum
- Wind noise around 210MPH
Miata forums
- Some redneck jackass in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics)
Chevy Tahoe forum
- Are gas prices going down any time soon?
Pontiac Fiero forum
- Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics)
BMW 7-series forum
- Where to get service on my Rolex?
Cadillac forum
- Problems parallel parking at bingo.
Buick Forum
- Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me?
Delorean forum
- Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm
from
1985.
Crown Victoria forum
- How come people don't never pass me on the highway?
Honda Accord forum
- Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims.
Toyota Echo forum
- Do our cars use AAA or AA's?
Ferrari forums
- Need suggestions about a business trip to Columbia. Want to get in and
out
fast.
Porsche forums
- Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself?
Saturn forums
- Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.
Jaguar
- Is the carbon fiber dash kit group-buy still on?
Mini
- Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie
company. (pics)
Dodge Viper forum
- I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get pee
stains out of the leather?
McLaren F1 forum
-Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.
Dodge Minivan forum
- Where's the best place to post the soccer schedule so I don't forget
where
I'm supposed to be?
Hummer forum
- Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the
black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in
gas.
Fiat forum
-Hello? Am I the only member?
Subaru WRX forum
- I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot.
Chevy pickup forum
- How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah
truck?
SRT Forums..
"Will this void my warranty"
RX7 Forums
- 13B Groupbuy full, stop PM'ing me.
DSM Forums
-Transmission Groupbuy Full stop PM'ing me
Supra Forums
-Head to big to fit in car, should have bought a Targa.
Vette Forums
-Why did I pay $50k for something with a Cavalier Steering wheel
Ford 2.3 forums
-Help! Replaced everything, still doesn't start
ACURA:
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AMC:
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI:
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW:
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
DODGE:
Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive
EDSEL: Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT:
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!
Failed Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD:
Friggin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Race Day
First On Recall Day
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Fails On Rainy Days
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Fault Of R&D
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Formed Of Rejected DNA
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Forlorn, Old, Rat-ridden Dustbin
Fork Over Repair Dough
Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odours Readily Detectable
Funny Old Rattling Dump
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
GEO: Good Engineering Overlooked
GM:
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Motors
Generally Miserable
Grossly Misconceived
Gluteus Maximus
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gets Mechanics Crazy
Got More Crap
Great Mountain Climber
Great Motor Car
GTO: Gas, Tires, Oil
HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructible Automobiles
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
JEEP:
Just Eats Every Part
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG: Money Guzzler
MGB: Might Go Backwards
MGF: Might Go Forward
MIATA: My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MOPAR:
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG: Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO:
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
PLYMOUTH: Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood
PONTIAC: Poor Old Nigger Thinks Its A Cadillac
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards
SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH:
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW: Virtually Worthless
Some typical car forum posts:
The typical post goes something like this...
Mercedes forum
- My wife and her a-hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court.
How do
I get them both killed and not get in trouble with my medical board?
Bentley Forums
- I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?
Camaro/Firebird Forums
- My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I
have a
record and I ain't going back.
Mustang (Chevelle )forums
-Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me.
Monte Carlo forums
-Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo.
Civic forums
-Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me.
VW Bug forum
- The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)
Yugo Forum
- When's the last time yours ran?
Lamborghini forum
- Wind noise around 210MPH
Miata forums
- Some redneck jackass in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics)
Chevy Tahoe forum
- Are gas prices going down any time soon?
Pontiac Fiero forum
- Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics)
BMW 7-series forum
- Where to get service on my Rolex?
Cadillac forum
- Problems parallel parking at bingo.
Buick Forum
- Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me?
Delorean forum
- Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm
from
1985.
Crown Victoria forum
- How come people don't never pass me on the highway?
Honda Accord forum
- Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims.
Toyota Echo forum
- Do our cars use AAA or AA's?
Ferrari forums
- Need suggestions about a business trip to Columbia. Want to get in and
out
fast.
Porsche forums
- Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself?
Saturn forums
- Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.
Jaguar
- Is the carbon fiber dash kit group-buy still on?
Mini
- Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie
company. (pics)
Dodge Viper forum
- I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get pee
stains out of the leather?
McLaren F1 forum
-Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.
Dodge Minivan forum
- Where's the best place to post the soccer schedule so I don't forget
where
I'm supposed to be?
Hummer forum
- Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the
black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in
gas.
Fiat forum
-Hello? Am I the only member?
Subaru WRX forum
- I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot.
Chevy pickup forum
- How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah
truck?
SRT Forums..
"Will this void my warranty"
RX7 Forums
- 13B Groupbuy full, stop PM'ing me.
DSM Forums
-Transmission Groupbuy Full stop PM'ing me
Supra Forums
-Head to big to fit in car, should have bought a Targa.
Vette Forums
-Why did I pay $50k for something with a Cavalier Steering wheel
Ford 2.3 forums
-Help! Replaced everything, still doesn't start
