Cobol74's Florida Holiday Report

Cobol74

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Joined
Mar 21, 2006
Messages
17,506
Location
The banana republic of Ukania
Car(s)
Honda Accord 2.2 i-Dtec Sport Estate.Hyundai Ix20
Part 1: The Holiday is planned. ...

Right, Mrs sees a great deal on the Thomas Cook web site for a trip to Florida in May 2008 for Feb 2009. Checks the USD to GBP conversion 1.97 to 1 - woot this is going to be great. The holiday is booked and the deposit is paid. My Daughters and myself are going and the Mrs and Son are going on a UK holiday with Mother-in-Law, Sister-in-Law and my Nephew.

Now lets see, what do we need to do to go to the US from thye UK? Now I know that there is a Visa Waiver programme so that should not be a problem - just fill out a green card (not the Green card just a green card) for entry and a white one for Customs - should be able to do that no trouble. ...

Oh whats this about the Passport. ... Can't be within 6 months of expirey - rats, going to need a new one. After lots of faffing about (Pictures where you can't wear glasses, got to so big, must not smile etc. ... and forms with damn stupid questions on it) got myself a new chipped one.

OK, now what about the rental car I am goin to need a drivers licence, lost my old pink one somewhere. Again after lots of faffing about (Pictures where you can't wear glasses, got to so big, must not smile etc. ... and forms with damn stupid questions on it) got myself a new pretty plastic one with a stupid EU logo on it - you do not even get the option to have it removed. Realised later that here is a way of using the Passport photo for your Drivers Licence on the internet but hey I got one so that is OK then.

Right next suddenly the US want me to fill out a form on-line as well as the Green one in the plane and a white one as well (Customs declaration). Did all that and got a "you are OK with us message from the US embassy". Phew. ...

Ready to go.

Do not miss Part 2 where you get the "Oh good (gulp) the rental is a PT Cruiser" and the "Dad, you are going up the wrong side of the road" comments.
 
You need a visa to travel to the US as a UK citizen? I figured since a Canadian was freely allowed in both the US and UK you guys wouldn't need a visa or waiver for the States.

Anyway... the planning part of any trip sucks. There is always issues with passports and stuff, and the plane ride is usually pretty tough - so I'm guessing part 2 of your report will be more fun. :mrgreen:
 
You mean the bit where someones big arse :)rolleyes:) only just fits in the economy seat and keeps calling the stewardess (Oops Flight Attendant- I hate that phrase!) as the call button is in the arm of the chair?
 
^ :lol:
 
It was funnier in real life me thinks - except for the poor Stewardess - I made her life worse too as you will find out in Part 2 "Do you really need another one of those!" post.
 
got myself a new pretty plastic one with a stupid EU logo on it - you do not even get the option to have it removed.

You realize that the UK actually is in the EU and a part of europe? :p

Nice rental btw.
 
Looking forward to the second part, sounds like it's turning into a sitcom already. Just replace you with Basil Fawlty and your daughters with Sybil Fawlty and Manuel and we're there. And replace the PT with a Morris Marina of course...
 
Mrs Cobol74 loads a slightly knackered Cobol74 into the car at some horrible early hour in the morning avec kids and luggage and off we go to Gatwick.

Get there and due to the ticket cock up we have not been able to check in on line so have to do it the old fashioned way - look over to the Bag Drop - massive scrum, look over to check in one bored bloke. Soon the luggage is stowed in the hold and we are in the V+ lounge - 1 hours delay and we are already 3 hours early!

(I may have gotten on the ineternets and posted as much in another Post, or 'RATS' to be precise!)

On the plane following an amusing incident with a Muslim in the departure lounge who was standing next to me invoking allah and travelling with several wives (possibly?) dressed head to foot in the usual garb, no face mask thankfully - that is a bit scarey, sorry if you wear one but it is. Cobol74 gets the wind up or what, goes over to daughters and sits down quietly, just as it starts to snow?

We all load on the plane - do not see my new best mate so assume he's gone up to First. Right girls sitting, old giant rump arse Cobol74 settles into his seat, stewardess comes over how can I help you? A confused Cobol74 looks like a refugee from a special needs school for a minute then says pardon?

Turns out old lard arse has hit the call button which is conviently situated sideways in the arm of the chair, well it would be convienient if his ares was not an inch bigger in its unsquashed condition that the seating width. Going over I do this several times especially as we go through the turbalance!

Filling out the green and white forms well it took me nine forms to get one completed with no mistakes, the stewardess was really, really patient as I called her down with a cheery "Can I have another one please I now live in my passport number!" And do they want UK or England or GB?

Gave a few to my eldest daughter, no good she was as bad as I.

The entertainment - the system with screen in the chairs infront worked after initial teething troubles needing a reboot (I hope that theplane does not need a reboot I thought!). I saw an old Blackadder, a Simpsons episode and the latest Madagascar. But 9 hours and it felt like it. Leaving the UK BEFORE we are allowed to get on the plane we had to go through the scanner, put everything metal in a tray for inspection and take the shoes off for separate scanning - If I ever bump into that shoe bomber I give him shoe bombing the dickhead!

So to America - Orlando International - Eldest Daughter started texting as the plane's wheels stopped (we have not as yet got the bill but I expect that we will be eating gruel for the next six months to pay for all the texting).

Been warned that the US Border Security and Customs are really stroppy. Well apart from close questioning about any vegtables I may be bringing in (Florida I suppose?) they were efficient and even friendly.

You do have to give an Iris scan and a full set of finger prints but if you do not want to then do not go.

Went over to Virgin and they have an integrated desk with Dollar and it was dead easy to pick up my super dooper PT Cruiser.

Now a word about the car - it was red.

Drove about a bit and had been warned to have some change for the tolls on the Turnpike (Sort of pay per use Motorway) I had just enough in change, we found out Hotel - one from the Marriott Chain and booked in. Now do not - I repeat not put you room key in the middle of you clam type mobile phone (Cell Phone) as you soon find your self locked out of your room!

Tip of the day always tip the House keeping staff - I did 1 USD per day and they did a splendid job, very friendly, mostly seemed to be Spanish speaking, although one was from the Carribean I could tell by her accent.

Next exciting installment "Dad - wrong side of the road!". And "Do you want to hold this Aligator?"
 
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Been warned that the US Border Security and Customs are really stroppy. Well apart from close questioning about any vegtables I may be bringing in (Florida I suppose?) they were efficient and even friendly.

Not because of you not buying vegetables there, but the risk of bringing foriegn plant diseases and insects. Kind of like how the Colorado Potato Beetle tore through the UK in the 1970's.
 
Which is exactly why we have strict quarantine laws here,


That said in LA they couldn't of really given a toss about quarantine when I was there.
 
Wait, what? The US is now fingerprinting and iris scanning British citizens? Unless you have dark skin that makes no sense Cobol.

I like how you are doing this in parts... is it to build suspense? I sympathize on the airline issues as I said earlier... my arse is not so lardy, but I'm pretty tall so airline travel is a pain for me as well.
 
Wait, what? The US is now fingerprinting and iris scanning British citizens? Unless you have dark skin that makes no sense Cobol.

I like how you are doing this in parts... is it to build suspense? I sympathize on the airline issues as I said earlier... my arse is not so lardy, but I'm pretty tall so airline travel is a pain for me as well.

They do it to aussies as well, it took about 10 mins for them to get a print from my mums fingers.
 
^ Wow, I'm actually shocked to hear this.

I get fingerprinted and interviewed every time, but I figured it was because I was born in the Middle East. So far as I know the average Canadian just goes through normally.
 
I've never flown into the US so I don't know, but hasn't the "omg foarin0rz! everyone even canadians need passports!" gone into effect for flights into the states? The interview deal just sounds like special love, you terrorist.

I look forward to "Dad - wrong side of the roadf!" :lol: And poo to you, when I went to Blimey last summer the planes both ways had yet to be redone with the individual TVs so I just had crappy movies and a couple random lame tv shows. Although the short flight from the local "international" airport to a bigger airport had the fancy entertainment systems.
 
I've never flown into the US so I don't know, but hasn't the "omg foarin0rz! everyone even canadians need passports!" gone into effect for flights into the states? The interview deal just sounds like special love, you terrorist.

I think you always needed a passport to fly into the US, it was only physical border crossings you could do with other documentation. But the interview/fingerprint/iris scan thing is indeed special treatment.
 
Wasn't it just last year that they made passports a requirement for canadian citizens? Wasn't it?

/me looks it up

Meh, I was close, it started 2 years ago. Before that we didn't need passports for flying. Probably this year they'll start requiring pasports for driving over too. Isolationism is where it's at, it's what all the cool countries are doing.
 
I used to live in Orlando, everything but the Disney part of Orlando is pretty great. I hope you were able to get of the beaten path a little and see some real Orlando.
 
1. To clear up a couple of points - every one on the plane was scanned and printed irrespective of Nationality, Religion and Race. The Canadians (did we have any?) got a different customs form I think.

2. I realise that the Veg thing is because of disease but it seemed a bit odd. Why do people bring in Veg to Florida?
 
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1. To clear up a couple of points - every one on the plane was scanned and printed irrespective of Nationality, Religion and Race. The Canadians (did we have any?) got a different customs form I think.

2. I realise that the Veg thing is because of disease but it seemed a bit odd. Why do people bring in Veg to Florida?

You can't get courgettes in the US.
 
...if by courgette you mean zucchini, yes you can. :|
 
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