• The development of any software program, including, but not limited to, training a machine learning or artificial intelligence (AI) system, is prohibited using the contents and materials on this website.

Dating advice from UKD, desperate and alone


Oct 4, 2004
Clarkson's House
Not by me, a little shallow, but interesting for sure. ;)

Credit goes to "SauceHead" from bodybuilding.com :thumbsup:

Lesson #1-Being Prepared

To get girls, you have to have a lot of factors working together for you. But the single area that you have the most control over is your appearance. Its a known fact that to create chemistry with a girl you have to know how to connect with her emotions. Well taking excellent care of yourself will automatically trigger part of her emotions right off the bat. Think about that for a second. You don't even have to say a word to the girl and she'll already be more willing to talk to you because you've triggered her emotions with your appearance. With that being said, here are the guidelines to follow for your appearance.

1-Workout Consistently-Ok I'm not saying that you have to look like Arnold or some Calvin Klein underwear model, but you should definitely go to the gym 3-5x a week and get yourself in decent shape.

2-Wear nice clothes-By "nice" I don't mean Gucci or Armani, just wear clean clothes that fit your body type and style. I think the most important thing here is to find a look that fits you. If your a skinny piece of shit, don't go wearing XXL football jerseys and huge baggy pants. That will just magnify that fact, that your incredibly underweight. Get a pair of white shoes and black shoes. You can wear those colors with anything and it will show a girl you have a sense of style.

3-Keep all areas clean-Girls are very perceptive. They notice the smallest details about you. Get your haircut regularly. Keep all your nails clipped and clean. Make sure if you have facial hair its always looking good. If you have a fat goatee, then keep it combed, its hair isn't it. Get a beard trimmer if you have that stubble look and keep it trim. Don't have a uni-brow, go to your mom's bathroom and bust out the tweezer's. Same deal goes for nose hairs. As far as other body hair goes, I trim everywhere else. Most girls, well the hot ones, usually only like hair on your head and little bit above your unit.

4-Skin care-Take good care of your skin. Most guys wash their face with soap and water and that's it. I like to go in the steam room after I work out, and eat a lot of fruit. You will be surprised, its makes a huge difference in the way your skin looks. Besides you don't want to break out the night before you hang out with a hot girl.

If you put these four factors together, you should have a higher self-esteem. This will make you more confident which is half the battle with the girls.

Lesson #2-Creating Attraction

When most guys hear a girl say "I'm so attracted to him," they automatically think the girl is refering to the guy's looks. WRONG!!!!! When a girl says she's attracted to a guy its much more than looks, if at all. All these years, we've be bred to think that the way to a girl's heart is to buy her gifts, call her a lot to show how much you care and put her above anything else. Well in the real world that's the furthest thing from the truth. Now most guys who realize this are quick to say, "To get chicks you have to be @ss-hole." That's not true either. Why would a girl want to be with an @ss-hole?? To create attraction you need to understand these 3 principles:

1-Knowing what to say
2-Knowing how to say it
3-Knowing when to say it

Let me explain each of these in more detail:

1-Knowing what to say-If you know what to say to a girl, then you'll get every girl you've every wanted. So how do you know what to say?? Its actually pretty easy. Say the unexpected. The unexpected is what she subconciously wants to hear, but when you say it, she'll say your mean and hit you. I am naturally pretty funny, according to all my friends and family. So I use this to my advantage to bust on the girl and give her a hard time in a non-threating type of way.

2-Knowing how to say it-Your voice tone is SOOOOO IMPORTANT!! Watch a Brad Pitt movie. Analyze his voice in some of the lines he says. Fight Club is actually a really good example of this because Edward Norton's tone of voice is like a mouse who got kicked in the nutz. So you have a perfect example of how to sound and how you shouldn't sound. Pitt's voice is deep and manly. If you think he just naturally talks that way, then your fooling yourself. He practices at it, I can assure you of this. Girls find this very seductive. The best place to practice your tone of voice is on your cell phone voice mail. Think about this advantages of this. Whenever girls call you and you don't pick up, they can hear your voice which will trigger some of their emotions again.

3-Knowing when to say it- The "when to say it" part is not exactly what it seems like. It basically means to say what your going to say within the context of the subject. Meaning, if you guys are having a conversation about the beach, don't change the subject and talk about school.

The basis of creating attraction is making sure you act like a man. Girls are not attracted to wussies. A wussy is someone who is her "best friend" dying in agony, hoping one day he might suddenly get to fuk her. He became a wussy by calling her a lot, agreeing with everything she says and putting her above himself. Don't be that guy. Always remember, that YOU are the most important person in your world. Take care of yourself FIRST then focus on others. Being a man means having an opinion on things. If a girl says something and asks yo how you feel, don't just agree with it because you think that's what she wants to hear. Tell her your side without starting an arguement. Agreeing with her all the time will also put you in the wussy catergory. Often girls have tests. The will say some outrageous bullshiat to you, just to see if you agree or finally have an opnion and disagree.

Lesson #3 The True Pick up Artist Bill of Rights

1-Thou shall always be talking to a minimum of 3-5 girls. Talking to only 1 shall result in the terminal diease called ONE-ITIS! This diease is always fatal and because it is so severe, it has 2 stages.

Common symptom of stage 1 ONE-ITIS are the following:

-thinking she's so much different from any girl you've met.
-thinking she is the most beautiful girl in the world.
-thinking she is very innocent and moral.

Common symptoms of stage 2 ONE-ITIS are the following:

-calling her 2-3x a day, just to talk.
-staying on the phone for 1-2 hours when she calls you.
-analyzing everything she says and does. Example: "I saw Mary-Beth in the hall today, she looked my way, what did she mean by that???"
-completely ignoring every other girl who shows interest in you.
-asking anyone and everyone for advice and to analyze her actions.
-when asking for advice, you explain EVERY LITTLE FUKIN' DETAIL about what she was wearing and how she smiled at you at 1:00pm so the listener can "understand completely."
-thinking your different from the 1,0000000000000 other "good guy friends" she has.

2-Thou shall not throw away any opportunity to practice your pimping skills.

I don't care if you have to practice on 13 year olds, grandma's, hookers etc. As long as they are female, sharpen your PUA skills to perfection.

3-Thou shall use girls to get other girls.

Always take girls with you when you go out, because once other girls see you they'll become intrigued and want to find out what all the fuss is about.

4-Thou shall not choose one girl over another.

If more than one girl wants you, don't choose. Bang both of them until one leaves. That way you get the best of both world's

5-Finally, Thou shall read all pages on this thread, so Sauce-head does not have to fukin' repeat himself over and over and over.

This is self explantory. If I don't have to repeat the same $hit over and over, we have more time and space to discuss advanced pimpin' techinques.

Lesson # 4-Perception

Everyone judges someone when the initially meet them. Whether they try to or not they judge them. Well perception is key with girls. Let's say Billy-Bob is a virgin who has never even kissed a girl. He studies up and learns the skills of becoming a pick-up artist. He then applies these skills to the next girl he meets. The girl will walk away thinking he's a great catch. She'll think he gets tons of hot girls, he's slept with a lot of hot girls and he can get more hot girls whenever he wants. This is what you want to do. You want to create a impressive image in the girl's mind and make her wonder about you. This is commonly what's referred to as being mysterious. So with that being said, here's the rules of perception.

1-Being busy-Let's say a hot girl you've been trying to bang calls you up today. So when your small talking she'll eventually say, "what did you do today?" Here's how a true pick up artist would respond. "Well I actually just walked in the door as the phone was ringing, I've been busy running all types of errands and stuff." Now in reality the true pick up artist could have sat home all day jacking off 33x. But he's painting a picture in this girl's mind that he's very busy and always has something to do. He also is very vague about what exactly he did. Notice how the true pick up artist doesn't explain where he ran his errands. That creates mystery. Girls are very jealous people. They will think that somewhere along your errand trail you might have been with another girl. What does this do? It makes them work harder for your attention and makes it that much easier for you to score. Think about that? You can sit at home and beat the meat all day and actually have a better chance of getting pu$$y..

2-Phone Skills-A true pick up artist also stays on the phone for a veyr brief amount of time for 2 reasons.

a) The less time on the phone means the more mystery there is about you.
b) It prevents you from fuking up and saying something stupid if you only talk for 3 or 4 minutes.
c) It makes her think your busy.

Along with keep the phone conversation short, you should always end the conversation first. This shows her your not needy and have other things to do. She'll think your talking to other girls.

3-Dates are for AFC's-NO FUKIN' DATES!!! You don't pick up a girl, buy her flowers and pay for her dinner on a first date. You meet her at the beach and walk around or you meet her at a coffee house and talk. She pays for her $hit, you pay for yours. Think of this smokin' hot girl just like your best friend. The only difference is she has a really nice pair of juggs and jell-o @ss.. Just like phone conversations, you keep the dates short. Coffee should last about 40-45 minutes. If you ever wonder how long you a get together with a girl should be, use common sense. If you went out with your buddy to get coffee, you probably wouldn't be there for more than 30-40 minutes. Unless your one of those gothic people who bring their guitar and hang out at the coffee shop for 3 hours. Now once you guys have starting fukin' like chimps on Xstacy then you can get a little bit more flashy with your get togethers.

4-Keep phone calls at a 3:1 ratio-I never ever call girls until they have called me 2 or 3 times. I'm not talking about calling a girl back. If a girl calls you, you should call her back. I'm talking about initiating the phone coversation. If she bitches and says, I always call you etc. then your doing good!!!

More Rules of "The Game"

Once you've mastered the art of walking up to a girl and getting her number, there's a whole different chapter on the rules from there on out. Such as when to call, what to say etc. So let me discuss these rules a tad bit.

When to Call-Only call girls Sunday-Wednesday. Why?? Because they are more likely to be available during these times of the week. By Thrusday, girls usually have plans for that night and the rest of the weekend. Now during the summer I realize these rules are a little different because schools out, etc. But during the summer most people work, so stick to only calling Sunday-Wednesday.

What to say-When you call a girl, small talk for a minute or two and then lead into a get together. Don't sit there like her bitch and listen to her problems and then ask her to hang out. Remember your a man, not a wuss, you have better things to do. So after you small talk immediately ask for a get together. You do this my first asking her what her schedule is like for the week. She'll say I work this day until XXXX time and this day I have school. So just pick a time after that, simple, she can't say no or lie to you. If she says she can't then you find out she was not interested right away instead of wasting months and months "hanging out" as friends..LOL

What if she doesn't answer?-Well this is where technology comes to your aid. The first thing you should do before you call a girl is put your caller id block on. This gives you a free phone call!!!! Its a win win situation. If she answers then you can talk, if she doesn't then she'll never know who called her. Which leads me to my next point. DO NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE!! Until you've made the first contact with a girl on the phone don't leave a message. Because your still a stranger to her and even if she's interested, she won't call you back(dumb chick logic).

3's the Charm-3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3!!! Why in the fuk am I typing 3 over and over again?? Because if you only learn one thing from this thread about phone calls it should be this number. That's the MAXIMUM number of times you should call a girl when your trying to make the initial contact with her. Here are the rules for this:

1st phone call-caller id block on, if she doesn't answer DO NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE. Why? Because its a free-phone call, she'll never know who called...-dirty little trick

2nd phone call-caller id block on again, if she doesn't answer DO NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE. Now the timing on the second phone call can be anywhere from a hour or two from the first one or a day later. Because remember she doesn't know who called the first time.

3rd phone call-You put unlock the caller id. If she doesn't answer, leave a message. Your message should say something cocky/funny. For example: (girl's name), its Sauce-head, you can finally put on a clean diaper because your master has called you. Now I know some of you are saying, "how cheesy" or "that won't make her call you back." Well if you don't sell it right then it won't. That's why I mentioned your voice tone earlier. Trust me, you say this right and sell it to her, she'll call you back within a hour or two.

However, it should NEVER get to the point where you have to call her 2 or 3 times, because if you used your PUA skills and laid down the cocky/funny, she will answer her phone all day because she's been waiting for your call. Which leads me to my next point.

Jumping off the Mountain when your on Top!!-WTF does that mean? Remember when I said to always end EVERYTHING first? Well make sure you end it when its at its peak!!! If your on the phone with a girl and your making her laugh and giggle, she's obviously enjoying the conversation. Well end it there!!!! Because when you guys get off the phone, she'll be thinking about you the rest of the day. Same goes for get togethers, make them want more. This is actually the rule I use when I'm hooking up too. Just think of it this way. Take 2 steps back and she'll pull you 1,000 steps forward

Lesson # 5-Lines

I know girls tell you "lines" don't work. Well that's because they are not the right ones.. The key to understanding lines is to say them as if they are not a line. Does that make sense?? You can make these lines effective by hiding them in the middle of a conversation. But here are common "lines" to use.


-"Hi" and smile.
-"I noticed you when I walked in and wanted to talk to you."
-"Nice shoes" let's fuk.. just kidding

- You:"What's your schedule like for the week?"
Her: Well I'm have work until XXXX time and school on this day."
You: You should join me for XXXX on this day.
-Its important that you say this line just like that. Tell her that your going somewhere and she should JOIN you. This implies that you already had plans to go regardless of whether she goes or not. This works much better than, "will you go out with me on Tuesday??" That's the wussy way, your asking for her persmission.

Number Closer:

You know (girl's name) you seem like a lot of fun to be around, we should get together some time?"

-This works ESPECIALLY WELL on 9's and 10's because they are so use to getting the usual bull$hit compliments about how "pretty they are." The powerful thing about this closer is, you are not asking for her number. Your telling her she's fun to be around. She'll be so excited after you tell her this that her next line will be "let me give you my number." I bet you $10000000 if you do everything preceeding to this correctly that when you say this line, her response will be to offer her number.

-Also by her offering YOU her number she'll emotionally think she likes you. Don't believe me? Just think about how a girl interprets you walking up to her and saying "Can I have your number??" She knows she has you by the ballz and its not exciting to chase a pushover. Food for thought.

These are the usual closers with varations depending upon what we were talking about before and the social setting.

Practice Makes Perfect-

To get good with girls, you have to prioritize it. Just like lifting, you gotta stay consistent with your meals and training to see results. One of the best ways to get good with girls is to practice your communication and non-verbal communication skills. Now just like in lifting, you didn't go to the gym on your 1st day and squat 3 plates. You started at a much lower weight and built yourself up to 3 plates. Same $hit goes for girls. I know a lot of you are won't admit it, but your very intimidated by really attractive girls. You get all nervous and have no clue what to say . So start off on that really ugly chick in your science class. Or that nerdy girl in math. Of course you would never want to hook up with these girls, but use them as bait to practice for the big fish... Here's what your goals should be:

1-Approach 5 random girls everyday for a week that are between 1-5 on looks. Start a conversation with them about ANYTHING!! Notice how your not intimadated by them AT ALL?? Talking to these girls and being confident is easy. Why? Because you know your better than them. That should be the mentality you have with EVERY GIRL!! Anyway, your focus isn't even to get their numbers or fuk them, its to become comfortable in front of girls in general.

2-For the next 2 weeks approach 5 more girls everyday that are between a 6-7 on looks. Do the same thing, just get comfortable talking to them.

After this 3 week period, your conversation skills(eye contact, voice tone, the way you walk, Alpha Male skills) should have improved dramatically. So now your ready to step up to the majors and talk to the really hot girl with the big fake tits, or the hot blonde who is a Britney Spears look-alike. Now to keep yourself from getting nervous in front of the really hot girls, just keep this in mind: Talk about ANYTHING EXCEPT THEIR LOOKS!!! They know how hot they are and when they hear that 20x a day, they almost take it as an insult and automatically think you just want to fuk them.(Of course you do.) Even worse they label you as a "nice-guy wussy." Did you know that girls decide within 5 minutes of meeting you, whether or not they'd have sex with you? So just think, if you can be Alpha-confident PUA for 10 minutes, you've got it made.. Girls that are really attractive want to be appreciated for anything except their looks. Keep that in mind and you'll do well. And if you fear rejection or a girl laughing at you, you shouldn't. 99% of the time a girl will be friendly, even if she 's not interested in you. So go get some hours in the batting cage and practice for your big at bat.


Ok in my last post I mentioned "THE SCALE." Now I know there are a ton of different varations of this, but here's the most accurate one I've heard of.

The scale is 1-10, here are the catergories.

Face 0-2 pts
Tits 0-2 pts
@ss 0-2 pts
Legs 0-2 pts
Personality 0-2 pts

So let's say a girl is "cute." That deserves a 1.5. Let's say she has "nice" tits. That deserves a 1. Let's say she has a "ok" @ss. That's a 0.5 as well. Let's say she has "good" legs. That's a 1.5 And a really great personality. That's a 2. So this girl would be a 6.5 on the scale.

So now that you know how the scale works, let's talk about how exactly you talk to a girl who's a 6 and how that differs from a girl that's a 8. Here's the general rules:

1-5: These girls are average and below average looking. They know they're not the cream of the crop, so don't bust their balls too much and throw in a compliment or 2. DON'T OVER-DO THE COMPLIMENTS, 2 MAX!!!! These girls are not confident, so if you boost their ego slightly, they'll be more receptive to talking to you.

6-7: These are the girls who are labeled as "cute." They know they're not SUPER-HOT, but they definitely are confident and know they're better than average. With these girls, 1 compliment will do. Your compliments need to flow with the conversation, don't just tell her she has a great personality, when she's talking about sedimentary rock formations.

8-10: These girls have a bubble around them. The only guys who get to be inside their bubble is the guys who show that their not intimidated AT ALL!! These girls get NO COMPLIMENTS!!! In fact you should give them Negative Hits. If you don't know what that is, read the first page of this thread. Like I said above, mention anything but their looks. Tease them about the little things, tell them they write sloppy or ask them if she cried because a strand of hair is out of place etc. Do this in a playful way, so she knows your teasing but your REALLY NOT.. Do not apologize or kiss-@ss to these girls AT ALL!! Let's say hot girl X gives you her number. She tells you to call her at 8:00pm. You get busy and end up calling her at 8:35 pm. When you call, talk to her like everythings chill. She will then ask you why you didn't call earlier. Just tell her you were busy doing some things. Be vague, don't say, "I went to Mcdonalds and then I shaved my @ss." Just say you were busy. Is this starting to make sense?

Lesson # 6 -Dating Show Education

Alright, I'll be the first one to admit it, when I have free time I'm watching all those dating shows. You know Blind date, Fifth wheel etc. In the beginning I use to just watch them for hot chicks. However now, I dissect each date and figure out if the guy is a total AFC or if he's a Alpha male. Once you mastered the concept of how the Alpha male is suppose to act and all the techniques behind it, you'll realize that shows like these are a invaluable lesson to getting you laid. They teach you EXACTLY how to act and how NOT to act. For example, I was watching Blind date a week ago. The girl was SMOKIN'!! She was in excellent shape, had a nice deep tan, with a tremendous pair of fake tits. She was a 8 on my scale. The guy was a normal looking business guy. They met eachother in a courtyard and they sit down and have a glass of wine to start off with. Immediately the guy is blatantly staring at her tits and just salivating like a dog. He then initiates the 1st of many compliments to her. He tells her how beautiful she is. She slightly rolls her eyes and says "thanks." The way she did this completley proved that really hot girls take compliments on the obvious like an insult. If you compliment these girls they want to hear something different, something unique that sets you apart. But they NEVER want to hear you compliment them within 20 minutes of your get-together. Anyway, they are driving in the car and the guy is just at a loss for words. He then asks her if she works out. She says "yes." And he says, yeah I was staring at your body and noticed you were in excellent shape. She once again roles her eyes and says "thanks." This AFC was so excited about the prospect of hooking up with the fake titted hottie that he didn't know what to do or say. Keep in mind the entire time he was talking he had a huge grin on his face. Then they go to dinner and he says, "umm err, I have to ask you something?" She says "what." He says, "are your breasts real??" She unhappily says "NO!" They then went to a bar. They're chillin at the bar and he's again telling her what beautiful HAIR SHE HAS!! WTF is wrong with this dood!! Is he a fukin' homo, who gives a $hit about her hair. The dude had a couple glasses of wine at dinner and they had to get a taxi ride home. At this point he realized he had no chance so he let his di-ck do the talking. In the taxi he asked her if she wants to spend the night or come in for a few minutes. This was the topping on the KING AFC CAKE!! The lady politely declined. I think the fact that she was on TV made her act a little nicer to him than she would have. When they finally get to his door, he says alright well, "give me a hug." She taps him on the shoulder and says "Good night." He then asks her if she wants to spend the night or come in AGAIN!!!

Ok, has this taught you guys anything. This guy had a GOLDEN opportunity to bang a smokin' smokin' hot chick. All he had to do was play it cool, have a good conversation and he would have been in. Instead he drooled and complimented her, and complimented her and complimented her. He gave her the impression that he hasn't been laid in a long time and it was probably true. It was so pathetic, the guy was a complete tool. Start making it a habit to watch these shows when you can. Break down the entire date from start to finish. Look for signs of interest when the daters first meet eachother. Such as body language, conversation and voice tone. These shows basically spoon feed you the way to get laid. They have the confessional moments and post date wrap up where the girl tells you what she was REALLY thinking. My point is you should utilize all the tools that help you perfect your craft. Put it this way, if you had the perfect body you would still work out right? Of course you would. Because you don't want to lose what you have and you want to gain more!! Bingo. Once you have left your AFC days behind you and become a good PUA, you want to get better. You want to become a master.

Lesson # 7-A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing!!!

Ok if you guys really look into the Alpha male attitude, its all about walking around with a exceptionally high level of confidence. All the PUA around have told you that your looks are not THAT important to your success with the opposite sex. So those of you who have learned how to play the game have embraced that and had good results with hot chicks. Well what about dealing with girls who act this way??? Now I'm not talking about girls who are 8's, 9's or 10's. These girls are exceptionally hot in our books and they know it. They've built up a tough skin to wussies and chumps who act like their bitch. What I'm talking about are girls who are 5's, 6's and 7's who ACT like they're a 8,9 or 10. Now a lot of guys will make the mistake of using the scale on a girl and they planning to proceed with that mentality. For example lets say your at a party. You see a girl and you do the scale on her. She comes out to a 6.5 So you think, "hey she's a 6.5, she'll probably like a few compliments and a decent guy attitude. If I'm cocky she'll HATE IT!!" This would be a key mistake!! Because until you have a conversation with a girl you don't know what her perception of herself is. This is why I believe its VERY IMPORTANT to do the initial approach and then let the girl talk for a little bit. Feel her out(not literally ) and see what her angle is. What your looking for is her bitch shield, her confidence and her receptiveness towards your advance. If you learn this it shoud help a lot of you hit homeruns when you otherwise might have struck-out.

So you might be asking, "how in the world would a girl who's about a 5, act like she's a 9??" Well, the answer is, through learning the game. She probably got tired of getting guy's she wasn't into or no guys at all. So she figured just like all the past-AFC's on this board did, that she needs to adjust her mindset and attitude towards the opposite sex.

Also I really want to stress how important it is to practice everytime you can. Pimp it on the fat chick you saw at the mall. Who cares!! Its not like your actually going to hook up with her, your just building your confidence one step at a time.
lol, yeah it may get too late then for even getting married let alone just getting a gf

Seriously though, an interesting read and very nice effort, thanks UKD (although I'm not into the business of getting a gf right now)
nah, definitely not that. I've had 4 ex-gfs to date :D
I'm starting things up with someone right now and I think we're both in love, but this should be the real thing, not just a pass time 8)