Ownership Verified: Dirty Diesel, Bought Dirt Cheap - 2008 M57 X5

So it's an X5 that wants to be a Mercedes? :p

If I wasn't Rainman when it comes to these kinds of details, I wouldn't have a clue that wasn't factory. It's late 00's car design.

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That could well be where the makers of the kit got the idea. It's a cheap, Chinese eBay job.
The Engrish instructions aren't helpful at all.
 
Missed the DRLs, I'm of the opinion that every car should have them (ignoring the fact that none of my cars do - shush) and that's a tidy spot that looks factory.

I forgot to say that the new screen looks great too, a big improvement and a nice step to modernise the car. I never thought I'd be tempted by the allure of an X5 but it's happening.
 
X5 now has 4 door central locking, a new filter and gaskets on the PCV!

Still working out details on the DRLs. Workmate is suggesting we run a wire to a spare fuse in the back. I’m not sure that will allow them to dim with headlights, even if we splice into the wiring for the lights. I’m also going to have to cut out the backing plate of the light in front of the oil cooler, before it’s permanently attached.
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I had hoped to be able to modify the original part to hold the new light, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to work.
 
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But with it blocked it's more aerodynamic, that's a good thing right? And with the oil cooler blocked the oil will be hotter. Hotter oil is thinner and flows more easily, right? Right? :p

I stupidly assumed that the wiring would already be set up to hook in to the headlights, how silly of me. Without knowing how they're wired it's hard to say, but if I was designing them I would have an ignition switched +12V, a ground and then a hot wire from the dipped headlight to trigger the dimming circuitry. That's my 1990s era thinking though, if they're designed to be replacements for factory items then it might be a CANBUS nightmare but I know nothing about that.

Anyway it's great to hear that the car is getting close and closer to being factory fresh.

Edit: Lots of the kits show a control box with them, did you get that?
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32958610860.html
 
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But with it blocked it's more aerodynamic, that's a good thing right? And with the oil cooler blocked the oil will be hotter. Hotter oil is thinner and flows more easily, right? Right? :p

I stupidly assumed that the wiring would already be set up to hook in to the headlights, how silly of me. Without knowing how they're wired it's hard to say, but if I was designing them I would have an ignition switched +12V, a ground and then a hot wire from the dipped headlight to trigger the dimming circuitry. That's my 1990s era thinking though, if they're designed to be replacements for factory items then it might be a CANBUS nightmare but I know nothing about that.

Anyway it's great to hear that the car is getting close and closer to being factory fresh.

Edit: Lots of the kits show a control box with them, did you get that?
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32958610860.html
Yeah, we got that, and I've hooked the corresponding wires together for the dimming function (it can also work in with the indicators, but that would look stupid, I think, as they don't turn amber.)
The workmate just wants to run the power from the fuse, ignore all other circuitry, which is part of the kit, and have them on 100% all the time. I really think they'll be too bright at night.

The instructions don't really go beyond, "Pull vent trim out, replace with light trim. Install."

Workmate also went to pick Janar's brain today, regarding the smoking issue. He walked over, pointed to the PCV housing and said change the filter. So, good to know my Google-fu isn't completely FUBAR'D :ROFLMAO:
 
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While waiting on the VCG kit I ordered to arrive, I did some Nicjasno-ing today.
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Looking for a way to get hands/eyes on the turbo and associated plumbing, checking for oil leaks, I crawled under and took the strengthening plate off.
It provided little more access than we didn't already have, but I took the opportunity to hit it with degreaser and the high pressure washer. Not finished yet, but Dad was ready to go, so it's hanging out to dry now.

There's the usual evidence of BMW oil leaks, but nothing fresh - even though I've had it running recently, and took it out a few days back.
 
Melted and filed some plastic out for the oil cooler. It’s a bit rough, but no matter. One of the other guys in the yard saw it and asked why I didn’t get his plasma cutter guy to fabricate one up for me, and get it powder coated.
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Also took the opportunity to condition all the black plastics, which is a prick of a job, but it looks great when done.

Still waiting on the valve cover gasket. Have contacted the seller, but not heard back, and it’s almost been a week now…not impressed.
 
VCG seller stuffed me around for 3 weeks, saying the kit was on back order from their supplier. Last night they cancelled the transaction. I should have bought the one in Lithuania and had it posted, that probably would have arrived by now.

Also, last night while waiting for Dad to head home, I started the car up to run it for a bit and charge the battery, since they drain pretty quickly.. Left it to idle for a minute while moving other things about, and then heard a clunk, followed by chiming, and the battery warning on the dash...

Threw the serpentine belt. So that's fun. Have to replace the three pulleys, and pull the front of the engine bay apart.... I finally crossed the road to talk to the Euro specialist mechanic in the workshop opposite the depot. He's too busy to look at it for at least another week, and that was BEFORE the latest mishap. My workmate wants to fiddle with it on the weekend, but I think I might just throw it at the dude across the road and let him sort it out. Have a replacement thermostat too, just in case.
 
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Some of my parts orders started arriving. New tensioner and belt, the VCG should arrive for collection this week at a store near me, and on Monday I was going to go in and see the bloke across the road again, as it's been 2 weeks since I last spoke to him. Despite it having thrown the belt, I could easily drive it the 150m across the road to him. So I had the parts in the car and hoped it'd be going in this week.

Got a call this afternoon from one of my drivers. He decided to ignore my directive to leave the car the hell alone, and along with a mate of his, started pulling things apart.
Fan is out, and they were working on the tensioner when he thought it'd be a good idea to start it, while using a screwdriver to pry it, because it wasn't coming loose....

The result...
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Circled is the resting place of the alternator pulley, which he was unable to find, until Janar pointed it out. He did, however, find both a hex key and a bolt that he’d dropped in the engine bay months earlier.

Anyway, as you've probably worked out, the screwdriver slipped, and I now have a hole in my radiator, because he couldn't just leave things alone.
Not happy. Very not happy. And it's all in so many pieces that there is no way I can get it to the mechanic across the road.
 
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Made a trip to my local BMW dealer’s parts department today.

Walked in with the alternator pulley that Janar fished out of the engine bay after it snapped the hex bolt (the cause of the thrown belt), and after some mucking in about the parts catalogues for about half an hour, one of the service guys knew exactly what I wanted - he’s snapped 3 in his own cars.

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The guy who damaged my radiator bought a new one, but didn’t understand the description, so it’s for an E53, and doesn’t fit.

That’s being returned, and the correct one has been ordered.
Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to get it across the road to the mechanic shortly. I really don’t want the workmate touching it, but it’s immobilised right now, so he has to make right what he ruined.
 
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So.... went over to the mechanic across the road again today, looking to book it in, now that the correct radiator has been aquired, and it's all back together. (Just needs the cooling system to be flushed and refilled).

...And he basically told me to fuck off. He's not interested in looking at it because he is SO BUSY. The smoke issue "could be anything", and he's not interested in having it in his workshop "in a million pieces" to track it down.
I have the VCG, I've done the PCV, I can easily get the valve stem seals. Start with that. I certainly wasn't asking him to do it for free...
If that fixes it, great. If not, at least I know it's done, and we can look elsewhere at a later date.

Now, I wouldn't spit on his shop if it was on fire. Never again will I even consider him.
 
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The blue smoke issue "could be anything", and he's not interested in having it in his workshop "in a million pieces" to track it down.
Unless he's only doing basic service work now (which is a totally legit business), isn't this normal for a modern mechanic? I watch Rainman Ray on YouTube and he would regularly have to dig in to engines to track down issues... before he got fired.
 
According to his website, they do a bit of everything. Including diagnostics. I literally asked when I could book it in, and was told "Nope. Not interested." Don't I know it's 4 weeks to Christmas, and he's too busy!
"It's a shit job", and it'd just be taking up space in the workshop while he figured it out. So I should just keep driving it (yeah, right) and wait until after they return from holidays on January 16th to come back and ask again.

Only for him to likely tell me that they have a backlog of work that was booked in over the holidays, and he can't get to it for another month or two.

Dude can fuck right off. I'll be calling a different workshop where someone I know did an apprenticeship some years back, and see if they have the time to take a look.

**EDIT: They DO. It's booked in for November 30 at another workshop nearby.**


Everything I've seen says it's probably VCG, maybe valve stem seals - valve guides OR worn rings at the extreme end of possibilities.
Otherwise, potentially oil seals in the turbo. It's just strange that the blue/white smoke happens only when you back off the throttle completely after acceleration.
 
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Car is now in the mechanic's posession. Driving it over there was an adventure....

It hasn't had a decent run since the new radiator was installed, so this morning I had a check engine light. (Confirmed, still there).
Cleared that code, restarted it.
Then it immediately went into limp mode, and smoked like a forest fire. All of the colours! My workmate that followed said it wasn't pleasant to be behind!

Eventually, (in peak hour traffic) I got it to the mechanic, and handed it over with a nice water leak from something Nick hadn't tightened when putting the radiator in.
He'd also managed to dislodge the charge pipe (which was the cause of the limp mode, and once reconnected it was back to running as well as it ever has).

They've been out on one test drive, and couldn't replicate the blue smoking issue I've had. But he's found an error on glow plug 5, so at the very least it needs a new plug control module.
He was getting fuel smoke on acceleration he said, so he was looking at injectors, which are not showing codes, have not since we did the replacement of injector 5, and were all within a few mls when we flow tested them months ago - before I stopped driving it.
It's not running rough, it doesn't cut out. Idle is smooth.

He's going to give me another call back later this afternoon, and we'll see where we go from there.
 
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No. It wasn't smoking at idle or under acceleration. It was when I backed off the throttle entirely, and let it run under it's own momentum, say, down hill or something like that. Or coming to stop at lights under brakes, on occasion.

When I dropped it off at the workshop, the mechanic said, from that description, he thought it was an internal problem, pulling oil up from somewhere. I said I thought rocker cover gasket, based on it happening more often while facing downhill.
Also, the other day, while I had it running in the shed at work, there was some smoke coming from the front of the engine. But valve stem seals wouldn't surprise me either.

However, last I heard, he was unable to replicate the issue on test drive - and there was a very steep hill nearby, so testing it would be pretty easy.

I did not hear from the workshop at all today, so I have no idea what (if any) progress has been made thus far.
 
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