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Famous Top Gear quotes.

PieceOfTat

PieceOfTat

Active Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
218
Location
Holland
Car(s)
Seat Cordoba 1.9 TDi Magnus @ 170BHP
Which is or are you fave quotes from Jezza, Hamster and James?

Please let us know which episode it came from and from what part.
Let's hear 'em!!

I'll start off.

"Formula 1 drivers as we all know they're not exactly underpayed. Schumacher, paid 80 millon dollars over the last year. Which makes you wonder why he agreed to get presumably 20 quid to put his face on THIS!! piece of TAT!! It's...it's a horrendous clock."

- Hamster Episode 19-12-2004 The news/ Christmas shopping.




"They are a bunch of trecherous, land burning, workshy peasants!"

- James Episode 19-12-2004 After Verbier race part 1




Richard singing: "If i were a rich man blablabla...Ok iv'e done if I were a rich man, any other requests?"
Jeremy: "If I were a tall man?"
Richard: "Funny, very funny!"

- Episode 23-5-2004 100 quid cars




Please excuse any mistakes in spelling, i'm a foreigner :)
 
on the race to switzerland.... James saying

"Permission to say Cock for the third time in the race or something"
 
"Oversteer is best cause you don't see the tree that kills you" -Richard Hammond.

"A turbo, exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster." -Jeremy Clarkson

"It really handles in the most extraordinary way, you get miles and miles of grip, and then when you reach the limit of adhesion, it kills you." -Jeremy Clarkson

"I AM A DRIVING GOD" -Richard Hammond
 
"So if anybody wants a plastic car with Vietnamese suspension, there you are." - Clarkson

Sorry, but that line was too funny!
 
Here's a goodie from his column:

Imagine my horror then when my wife casually announced the other day she?d like a pick-up. ?What,? I exclaimed, ?in the name of all that?s holy, do we want one of those for?? We?re European. We were sipping tea while the Americans were shooting Indians. We?ve had 2,000 years to get used to civilisation, not 20 minutes. We?re advanced, we?re slim, we?re at the cutting edge of evolution. We think that shooting bears is daft. Budweiser gives us a headache and we think George Bush is an arse. So why in God?s name do we want to drive around in a car made from a hen house and two bits of railway track?
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Here's another from his column that I love:

The trouble with Canada is that it lives in the almighty shadow of the United States. As a Canadian friend of mine once said: ?Our dialling code is 668 because we?re the neighbour of the beast. It?s like living next door to a family of alcoholics ? we wave and smile nicely and hope they don?t come over.?
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"of course the big problem with this (the aussie holden monaro) is that if you buy one, five of its mates will turn up, with backpacks, and want to live in your garage" - clarkson.

and don't forget the "traction control" in the monaro:

"what a poofter. backs to the wall everyone, there's a pom on board. he's turned the traction control on. what a poofter. poofter. you poof. what a poofter. my sheila can go 'round a corner faster than this. poof. poof. poof. you hopeless pom. and you got lucky in the rugby."
 
"The ideal American car is of course a big sofa" -Jeremy Clarkson

:lol: It's so true.
 
roundhead said:
"of course the big problem with this (the aussie holden monaro) is that if you buy one, five of its mates will turn up and want to live in your garage" - clarkson.

and don't forget the "traction control" in the monaro:

"what a poofter. backs to the wall everyone, there's a pom on board. he's turned the traction control on. what a poofter. poofter. you poof. what a poofter. my sheila can go 'round a corner faster than this. poof. poof. poof. you hopeless pom. and you got lucky in the rugby."
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HAHAHA I love it.

There is the one in my signature that I like. I pretty much like it when James goes off on a rant of his.

I love the one where James goes off at that american guy who is trying to turn england villages back into the way they were in the old time. Its classic as! Ends the quote with... SOD OFF!
 
"Have you seen who's behind them? .... Bill Bryson.

Well I think that man is a danger, frankly. If there's one thing I can't stand it's beardy, sanctimonious, patronising Americans in tartan trousers coming to England and trying to persuade us to turn it into a museum.

He wants the East End full of cheeky cockney chaps pushing wheelbarrows full of eels and he wants Northerners to be industrialists with big braces and blokes dying of the consumption... "morning Bill... I've got the consumption... it's traditional.alright"

Bill, if you're watching, ok. You won't be watching, obviously, because we're not talking about steam engines or longboats or bear-baiting but if you happen to have tuned in by mistake, we're not interested in the views of stupid Americans who come over with their big video cameras saying "gee I love your history it's just so old".... SOD OFF."

That is James May's rant from the 2004.10.31 episode. :thumbsup:
 
Can't remember the exact quote

but it comes from the episode where the greenies works out that train actually waste more fuel than cars.

and he read from the article, quoting
"So PlanetEarth advices that for people who want to travel, it's better to stay home".

heh ...
 
"another thought just popt into my head, how much like that cat in shrek 2 you look" Jeremy to Hammond :lol:
 
THis is old but

"The old mustang sounds like god shouting at you :thumbsup: "

"Ferrari's are a Scaled down version of god"

"If the F355 is the best ferrari of all time, it has got to be the best car in the world"
 
Raven18940 said:
"I AM A DRIVING GOD" -Richard Hammond
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Too late, mate. 8)

BTW, why don't you guys put the episode where you listened that quote, like PieceOfTat said?
 
bihus said:
BTW, why don't you guys put the episode where you listened that quote, like PieceOfTat said?
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Because I don't remember :cry:
 
Mostly cause I can't remember and don't feel like looking it up right now.
 
You don't have to say the exact date. In fact you don't have to say anything at all. :lol: But it would be nice if you put it in context, if you remember. But don't let that stop you from putting a quote. They're fine as it is. ;)
 
"this car is so quite the kids will never hear me coming"

a little while later
"but then again this car is so slow the child is able to retrieve the ball before i can reach him"

From the Toyota Prius review cant remember the episode number or name
 
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