FinalGear Wacky Race #4 - RACE THREAD

vikiradTG2007

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We have just a few minutes to go before the official start of the fourth FinalGear Wacky Race, one of our great forum-wide (should I call it like that?) events. In just a few minutes' time, the green light will be given out and the race will get underway, but before that, the field is being waved off on a parade lap.

This is possibly the last chance for the imaginary audiences to see your vehicles in their most pristine, clean and undamaged aspect, because this is going to be a tough 24 hours on everything related to them... and maybe to you guys as well. :lol:


A quick reminder of the original rules:

Jay said:
-You have to participate in order to finish.
-You cannot be pissed off if someone blows you up, runs you off the road, etc. Remember, this is a silly race, if you get blown up, you can....I dunno, chant a spell and fix your car and be off again. Be creative.
-You cannot turn the thread into a flame war. Nobody wants that.
-NO IMAGES CAN BE POSTED. Everything has to be done using your imagination.
-Have fun, and be creative and funny in your posts.



So without further ado, Emerson Fittipaldi has been... erm... borrowed for a few minutes from his home, and the Penske PC23 borrowed in the same way from a motorsport museum. They are ready to take you round for the rolling start at 4pm CET exactly, after 15 minutes on the formation lap.

Unfortunately, Stephen Fry and Alan Davies were unavailable to wave the green flag, so...

The formation lap is underway.

F1_green_flag.jpg



Come on people, get posting!




NOTE: THE RACE WILL LAST 25 HOURS INSTEAD OF 24 DUE TO THE MOVE TO THE GAME FORUM.
 
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Cryptopygia

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Fired up the engine, annnnd...

Someone tainted our fuel...

Fuck.

We're going to have to drain the tank, source fresh diesel, and fill back up. Fast.

Meanwhile, Jessie is off to find whoever sabotaged our fuel supply, while Clay is interrogating a suspicious person we found near our fuel drums.
 
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PaperBiro

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Due to a major cock-up, the staff have only just realised the Glorbipod has been travelling backwards for the entirety of the parade lap. It is now in the Shetland Isles, finally stopping due to a collision with a pony.
 

Cryptopygia

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Clay: We have fuel! We have fuel! Quickly!! FillitupFillitupFillitup!

Jessie: *returning with a bloodied wrench in hand* Good news, I found the bastard who messed with our fuel.

Clay: Who?

*Meanwhile*

Dick Dastardly: *whimpering in pain*
 

PaperBiro

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The people responsible for the cock-up are now on a spaceship to become black hole fodder, and the Glorbipod is now being rerouted. Meanwhile, Petunia is still nowhere to be seen.
 

Karoug

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Late as usual team BDU pedals it's way to the starting line:

WHAT it's already started?

- Death, This is ALL YOUR FAULT!!!
Oh well Here we go!!

*rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
 

Cryptopygia

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Click, click, click click click. Whirrrrrrrr. Click. *Engine starting noises* Vroom!

Clay: Yes! It works!

Jessie: *Quoting the Heavy* Is good time to run, cowards!

And with that, DSRacing is finally underway!
 

PaperBiro

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At maximum speed, the Glorbipod is back at the start line at a steady speed of quite a lot.
 

Lupin_IV

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Lupin: What time is it? [looks toward clock] 10:15? DAMN!
*sound of two unmuffled V8 engines roaring to life*
Lupin: I guess we're running straight pipes.
[Perfectly Legal's 1987 Chaika breaks through the barn door and squeals it's tires as it turns toward the race course followed by the older Chaika hearse.]
 

ninjacoco

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We would have been on time, but Lavender Stig ate his watch. And my Kate Spades. Crap.

But...we're off! Nice start there from pastel Stig. That W16 in the back is music to Fluffy's floppy little ears!
 
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Karoug

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- So how is the tricycle running so far?

- We got some issues with wear on the front wheel. We might need to stop and change sooner than excpected!!

-shit, we need stronger material. BRING OUT THE TITANIUM WHEEL, at the next PS! Also send a note to that team from Texas: HAHA!!
 

Cryptopygia

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The Cat, after it's early stumble, is gaining on the pack

Clay: Hey look, a Chaika!

*Burst of pulse rifle fire*

Jessie: Now without a gas tank.

*Whoomph goes the now burning car.*
 

Lupin_IV

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T. Bear (co-driver): Grrawwwar.
Lupin: It's okay; we've got a layer of asbestos between the body and the interior.
T. Bear: Grrar.
Lupin: If your that worried about it, hold this. [pulls a fire extinguisher from the back seat] I'm just glad we had time to fit that new fuel cell.
 

ninjacoco

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Fluffy Bunny opens the note from BDU.

She sends one back as she makes a fresh pot of tea: "mwahahahaha indeed."

Meanwhile, on the track, Lavender Stig approaches the first long, flat-out straight. A pair of rocket engines come out from both sides of the WPOS.

The rockets fire up and the car moves forward at warp speed. FFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!! Ankbajs speeds past by everything on the track.

Over the team radio, halfway down the long section: "Release the moose bait."

Little pellets drop out of the car's back bumper. A pack of horny moose soon fill the track.

"Hmm. That's an unintended side effect...but I'll take it." I said.

Houston, you have a problem now. Mwahahahaaaaaa.
 

Karoug

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"Is there something on the track?"

"Yes sir, it's a herd of mooses?, sir."

"Shit, we can't drive passed them, they look like they are in heat..."

"should i fire the hormones we bought from that lady moose we passed earlier?"

"Yes, shoot them at Scuderia Ankbajs. Lets see how they like it when their trap backfires"
 

Cryptopygia

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Clay: Moose!

Jessie: What? *looks ahead* Oh shit!

Unable to stop in time, the Cat plows right through the herd of horny moose, severely damaging the front end.

Clay: Oh great, the spoilers damaged. Now I've got horrible aero-understeer, and the front weaponry is damaged.

Jesse: Just wait till the nanites repair it. Until then, get your gun ready.

Clay: Right...
 

ninjacoco

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Bizarre hormones start to fill the car. Fortunately, Stigs don't really go in heat. I'm not really sure that they have anything...um...down there. The smell kinda bothered Stig, though, so he pulls out the new scented tree from its package. Strawberry!

"Phew," I told Fluffy Bunny, Eater of Souls. "I guess this pretty much confirms that they didn't send Ralf. The faaaaaabulous purple suit had me a bit worried for a sec."

The little lilac bunny gives me an evil glare.

"Oh, um, no offense." I said. "Purple is a lovely color and...please don't eat my soul? You need me to operate the team radio, you know..."


We're going to need to buy ANOTHER new little scented tree now, though. RAAAAAAAGGGGGGEEEEE!!!
 

Matt2000

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While Megawatt lasers are great weapons, they're an arse to fit. We're an hour late starting due to this but now we're off. The 109 darts of the line and we're already being deafened by the noise of the tin roof vibrating, but the engine is pulling strong and we're up to 70mph. All sorts of debris is already on the road ahead.
 
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