This is the live, hour one report from the coffin in Perfectly Legal Racing's support hearse. The team is making steady progress with no need to pit this early in the run, and the fire seems to have finally burned itself out.
For those of you wondering about the co-driver, appearing as T. Bear on the entry sheet, it is a grizzly, named Theodore Edward Bear, that Lupin has trained to drive and operate small arms.
Burning moose chunks on the engine have filled the cab with thick smoke, and I can't see where I'm going. Luckily I left my HenryPlus in the back from cleaning the dust off the superweapon. Henry quickly sucks up all the smoke, but I have no idea where he puts it all. There must be a black hole inside or something...
I've sent Awkward Freshman #3 to make jello shots in an overly-complicated diffuser. #2 is setting up a tent 'round turn 17, where we're using some busted up remains of something to cook moose with. #8 is making queso.
Perfectly Legal Racing hour three report - we've just pitted the car and Lupin has handed off the controls to T. Bear.
Lupin: Danica's first NASCAR race starts soon; I have to watch it.
Lupin: Oh, c'mon you know she's going to start some shit.
...Anyway, with the one hour race extension, we may have to make an extra stop for fuel. That doesn't matter so much because most of our weapons now count as tax write-offs. If any of our competitors are listening, you can expect heavy missile fire in the coming hours.
Once again, this is Anonymous Tipster, signing off from the coffin.