FinalGear Wacky Race #4 - RACE THREAD

Cryptopygia

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^Only to be too distracted to notice the warp cannon blasts from the Cat aimed directly at you.

Jessie: And THAT is how we will win this!

Clay: You know, I've been feeling a lot like an unwilling passenger in this race, even though I'm the one doing the driving. You're the one on the weaponry, while I have to avoid the wrath you incur.

Jessie: So why not incur some of your own. You did design this thing for a reason.

Clay: You're right, actually. RAMMING SPEED!!!
 

Karoug

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K: Great what happened?

L: The aftershock from the death-o-matic must have clashed with that warp-blast..

K: ?

L: It sent us to the moon..

K: ooh.. not to bad.. We will be back on track in a jiffy..

L: yes sir.

K: Go into stealth mode.. I'm gonna get some sleep..
 

LP

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The light clears, the smoke dissipates away.

LP and his assistant lie among what used to be the BBQKoenig...their car


LP: God.... It feels like I've been sat on by 50 fat men, or 10 WoW players.
Asst: Same thing really sir.

Luckily the communication unit was still salvageable.

LP: BILL! BILLLLLLL! The swedes just hit us with their IKEA-bought Deathray! I think I can even see pieces of their unpronounceable furniture names and some meatballs.

Bill: Well... tough bananas
Voice in background: VAIT! I have zee solution!

LP: Who's that Bill?
Bill: Huh, no-one. No-one lurker, just some hobo.
Anonymous person: Get out ov heer Bill.

LP: HOLY COW ON A NAAN! Is that Einstein?
Einstein: Nein I am zee clone of Einstein, formed from the extracted DNA of Einstein's brain and zee sweat from a Trucker's bum crack.

LP: Eew.
Einstein: Indeed, but I have zee solution for you Mr. Lurker.
LP: Wassup bro?
Einstein: Vell I have created the greatest invention ever. I call it a PRISM TANK.

The camera pans to a sexy beast of a machine

LP: Holy mother of.... How soon can you get it here?
Einstein: Vat do you think I am? Fed-EX? I'll have it to you in a few minutes, vee just need to get zee transporter working.
LP: Throw in a few sheep launchers and some other accessories and we can get back in the race.
Einstein: Ohh you'll be surprised ELL PEE. ZJust vait and see vat I have in store for you!

And so, TEAM DOOMHAMMER takes up Butt Sweat Einstein and his new invention, and wait amongst the rubble as car after car pass by.

LP: Want some cooked sheep?
Sheep: BAA
LP: *whacks with a piece of wood*
Sheep: Baa..aa...ugh...
 

Topgearfanatic

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And John has reported over the radio he has found some sweet guns in the alley behind the pits, we got some cool new guns on the car now!
 

Lupin_IV

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Lupin: [waking from a nap] Where do we stand?
According to this, you're dead last.
Lupin: Open communications on all channels!
Yes, sir.
Lupin: Fellow competitors, you can each expect to be visited by a pair of Raduga KSR-2 missiles within the next sixty seconds.
 

Topgearfanatic

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Right, testing out new weapons, lets try it out on this oncoming missile! *Aims and fires* KAPLOW!!!! Oh, sweet fireworks!
 

Cryptopygia

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*One warp cannon blast later...*

Jessie: What missile?

...

Hey Clay, how long till we get onto the highway?

Clay: About 10 miles....
 

racingfan1

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Team RF1 is currently running well...

Er, nevermind. Our car just exploded. Lupin's missiles were more reliable than we thought.

Team Owner is furious we have wasted a car, nevertheless, one of the back-ups is in transit. T.O. also said shields have been installed, since Secret Driver isn't very good.
 

Cryptopygia

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And the race enters it's public highway stretch. The racers spill onto the interstate from an offramp into a maze of cars, buses, trucks and runaway Toyotas.

Clay: Shit! *weaves madly between cars* Who the hell thought this was a good idea!

Jessie: <-- That guy...
 

Topgearfanatic

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Kimi presses the teleportation button and John configures it to skip past the highway.
It didn't work.
"Oh, deer"
"What happened?"
"I'm in the forest, there are deer everywhere!"
"I'll work on getting you out!"
Bzzt
"Back on course"
"I'll get John to make it so you can drive through the cars."
 

LP

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One of the sheep get up from it's slumber.

Sheep: Baaa? OH SHIIIIIIIT

*missile hits sheep*

LP: Welp, there's plenty more where that came from, right flock of sheep?

LP perspirates a drop of sweat as he watches the flock of sheep run away from the rubble.

LP: Only a moment to go before the new mode of transportation gets here. Meanwhile let's order out some dinner. It's almost 8:00 PST.
 

Cryptopygia

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Clay: So tired. Need sleep now. Jessie, can you take over?

Before Jessie can respond, Clay has passed out.

And with that, I go to bed until tomorrow...
 

Topgearfanatic

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So it seems like I'm the only one out there at the moment,sneaking up the field!
 

ashspet

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The crowd in the stands are wondering, the explosions seem to have ceased, and vehicles seem to be erratic in their movements. As one, the 4.6 million trackside viewers and the 322 million TV viewers head for the bathroom.

Oh no, can the system take it?
 

Richmondgal

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*Looking from the sidelines*

Richmondgal: If it wasn't for your stupid misplacement of the Monaro, we would've won the race-

Mcduckduck: Er, no. If it wasn't for your stupid expedition to Sydney, we would've won the race-

Richmondgal: You shoved a Monaro up your arse-

Mcduckduck: You tried to mate with an Ibis-

Richmondgal:...

Mcduckduck:...

Richmondgal: What's that? Oh shi-

*BOOM*
 

Topgearfanatic

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So that takes us into 1st place! Although the carpet bombing the competitors along the way helped a lot!
Now there are cows all over the place, WTF?
Autopilot is taking control for kimi as we all take a well deserved nap, it does have full control of the weapons mind. Very HAL like.
 
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LP

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Almost falling asleep by the rubble, TEAM DOOMHAMMER seems to be out of the race.

They're awoken by a loud rumbly sound.

The ground shakes, the dogs bark.

LP: What the hell is that.

Suddenly a machine of extreme proportions, guns, and MASSIVE scramjets appears in front of them.

Scientist: Someone order a Prism Tank?

LP: HELL YES!

And with that, and some dominos pizza in hand, TEAM DOOMHAMMER sets back off into the race, hoping to catch up to the rest of the crowd.

LP: And this time we don't need to lower the shields, heh heh.

Lurker turns on the fusion generators for the shields.
 

Karoug

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After a good 6 hours of sleep Captain K. wakes up...

K: Where are we? *yaaaaaaaaawn*

L: Here and going forward fast!

K: Could you be less specific?

L: Yes.

K: ...

L: We are in second place. APRacing is just ahead...

K: Why are they still there?

L: Didn't wanna wake you.

K: You are so sweet! :love: Now let us warm up the Death-O-Matic

L: Indeed!

K: Got 'em in my sights, FIRE!!!

L: Direct hit sir!!

K: That was lulzy!! Now breakfast time!
 

LP

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TEAM DOOMHAMMER goes on Autopilot.

LP: Time to sleep.
 
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