In the wonderful world of candyland, happiness, hugs, and rainbows abound.
Pink unicorns run through the field of gummy worms, and valentine heart candies.
Gummy bears help out in the Teddy Graham Humane Society.
All is well and dandy.
Then one of the unicorns turns feral, and with it's eyes glowing red it says "Lurker"
Suddenly candyland is terrorized by a massive demon, who smashes all of the candy cane gingerbread houses, and eviscerates the candy people.
It screams out "Lurker".
LURKER
LURKER WAKE UP GOD DAMNIT
LP: Huh what?
Bill: You missed the start of the race again!
LP: God freaking damnit!
And so, without taking a shower, LP sprays himself with axe and various other products, washes his face and heads to the pit.
Bill: GO GET IN THE CAR GO NOW!
LP: AIGHT AIGHT.
LP hops in the car, and RACES OFF. He passes every single person in a whirring and whizzing blur.
Then Bill starts running right next to the car.
Bill: Um, LP... that's a kid's plastic steering wheel.
LP: VROOM... huh.........oh...
Bill: Lemme bring the KoenigseggCCRXBBQ whatever.
So LP finally hops in the car, and gets fueled.
He starts the machine, and it purrs like a dream.
Then once they removed the kitten from the backseat, he REALLY started the engine, and it roared like a lion, and thundered like an elephant's trumpet.
The jets at the back fired up, and the car sets off in the race.
TEAM DOOMHAMMER IS STILL IN IT TO WIN IT!
Bill: LP has a lot of catching up to do.
And so, to make up time, LP burns as much fuel as he can, and turns off all defensive and offensive systems.
LP: LETS BEAT THIS MUTHAFUGGA and SHOW these muthafuggas what a REAL CAR is!