FinalGear Wacky Races - The Race for the Quest for the Winter Cup for the Thing

Korea Times said:
North Korea's KCNA (Korean Central News Agency) has been labelling Katstein the Terroristkat as a "pro-American imperialist", according to South Korean military officials. This comes after Katstein reportedly insulted Kim Jong-il's father Kim Il-Sung in a private meeting 2 weeks ago, and then ran off with all his nukes. Analysts believe that this made Kim Jong-il "very ronery".

In an empty press conference today, Katstein has announced that these nukes are ready, and if anyone wishes to launch an attack on Meerkat Manor HQ, they would have to face the consequences.
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Katstein's Blog: Musings of a Lonely Psychopath said:
So today, I met Shothouse Racing's Walem at Bar Risa in Birmingham today. Seemed like a great guy, with loads of wacky anecdotes about the time it lived for Lake Baikal for a few years. We had a couple of drinks together and got on like a house on fire.

Oh yeah: speaking of which, I kinda blew the bar up afterwards. Seems like a good idea when you're drunk. That bartender deserved it though. ?16 for a Vesper Martini? Seriously?

Not sure what happened to the Walem. Hope the guy's alright though. :(

I'm not so sure about keeping this psychopath facade up, to be honest with you. I'm getting tired of it; people think I'm just a one-note character. It seems like I only do it these days to comfort myself. I think it's a midlife crisis. Maybe I should talk it through with someone...

On an unrelated note, I heard that veloceRACING's HQ got trashed again. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERS:p
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^Hey man, i'm still lacking pants over here!


but yeah, needs moar ppl...
 
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RG's Racing said:
Car is still coming...it's going to take a while to get it off an island in the middle of the China Sea
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(And another thing, I may also miss the start...might be a bit drunk then.)
 
INT: 0300 HRS - Meerkat Manor

A svelte figure creeps along the walls of Meerkat Manor, in her bag, a nuclear suitcase bomb modified to trigger a gas lethal to organic life forms upon detonation. Four of the detonation charges have already been placed at the corners of the compound, all that was left to do was get past security and plant the final bomb at the center of the manor. All was going to plan but trouble arose when Lara entered the gate to the manor.

BZZZZT (Spotlights Shine Directly on Lara)

Katstein: I've been expecting you Ms. Croft
Lara: Well here I am
Katstein: hahaha, hmm....I'm going to enjoy killing you
Lara: Not today

Lara pulls out her trademark dual USPs and puts two in the meerkat's head only to find it was a merely a hologram.

Lara: Ugh, RADIO IN: I need the helicopter.

She walks over to one of the unconscious guards and piles him into the helicopter standing by before walking inside the manor and dropping the bomb of just in case.

INT: Torture Chamber, veloceRACING London HQ 0800 HRS

(Guard has been stripped naked and tied down to the table, it somewhat resembles a S&M lab now more than a torture chamber)

Me: Where is he!?

Guard (from previous night): I DON'T KNOW, I SWEAR! What are you going to do to me?

Me: Me? Nothing, him I cannot speak for

In walks torture specialist, Samil

Samil: You know what my name means?..it means the angel of death, I specialize..in creating the maximum amount of pain and match it with the maximum amount of pleasure.

In the control room overlooking the chamber, Lara and I observe

Lara: Y'know, it's such a shame, he's actually quite attractive

Me: Get your mind out of the gutter

Meanwhile, back in the torture room,

Samil takes out a knife and starts carving into the sole of his victim's foot

Me: yeah..this is getting a little weird.

INTERCOM: OKAY, JUST CUT TO THE CHASE

Samil: you never let me have my fun

INTERCOM: Just get the big laser out

Samil: Alright, okay now you tell us where he is or the big laser descends over the table and starts cutting Goldfinger style down the center until there's little define you as person much less a man.

Guard: Fuck you

Samil: Alright then

(Big laser drops down from the ceiling and ignites, slicing down the middle of the table)

and just as it nears his, ahem gentleman's region..

Guard: stop! I'll tell you

Samil: Excellent

Guard: He's hiding in a cave, in his hometo-

The radio in the pile of clothes sputters to life

Katstein: I'm back in the manor, I assume the bitch has been taken care of

Lara smiles and detonates the bomb

INT: Meerkat Manor

In the aftermath of the explosion, what once stood as a great stately home now resides as a pile of rubble. No survivors are to be seen.
 
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Guard: Sir, Sir!

Me: *Annoyed* What?! What do you need me for? I'm busy attempting to- *The guard bursts in, visibly panicked* Whatever happened is not good, is it?

Guard: Sir, we've detected a missile launch from Switzerland.

Me: Veloce?

Guard: We believe so. Current tragectories point to them being aimed directly at us. We have reason to believe their payloads are nuclear warhead.

Me: Oh god. Oh god. Evacuate everyone, tell the authorities to do the same for civilians. Can we get enough aircraft to get everyone to the bunker?

Guard: Yes sir.

Me: Are Clay and James still in Europe?

Guard: They are on a helicopter bringing them to a British Airfield. They have been told to hold them until further notice.

-At that moment-

Clay: *Aboard the chopper, noticing the trails of smoke* Are those missile trails?

James: I believe they are. I did not realize they have missiles.

Clay: I think we just did something we are going to regret...

-Back at base-

Me: Do we have any defenses?

Guard: No sir, the last ones we had were lost with the dissolution last year.

Me: And how long do we have?

Guard: A little under two hours, Sir.

Me: Then run. Get to the helicopters, now.

*At this point, Jessie rounds the corner to my office.*

Jessie: You must have some plan, right? Anything to save us?

Me: Yes, fleeing. We have nothing to defend ourselves.

Jessie: You are kidding me. You have NO defenses?

Me: The classic defense was to bomb them in response. We don't have that now!

Jessie: What about Clay and James? Are they safe?

Me: They're still in Europe, they should be fine.

Jessie: *Turns to run, then stops* Sir, I think I have an idea!

*A short while later, Jessie is suited up in hir armor, scaled up to the shi originally arrived at, and equipped with the railgun. Shi gives the soldiers gathered around hir feet the Sak'khari salute (closed fist over the heart) and fires hir thrusters to take to the sky. The soldiers give hir the traditional salute before running for the helicopters, just because it makes a nice emotional moment

Hir radio begins to receive the evacuation orders broadcast to the civilians surrounding the DSRacing complex* as the atmosphere thins, and hir auxiliary oxygen supply engages. At this point, shi has 15 minutes before needing to rely on a rebreather, and a further minute before suffocation begins. It takes hir seven minutes just for the AI Core to locate the missiles, silently cruising through space. The locations of each missile appear in hir display, 5 in total. The capacitors in the railgun charge, and a fresh round, a tungsten slug in an iron sabot, is chambered.

Jessie begins to wonder what will happen if shi takes a shot. Will the rounds simply tear the missile to shreds, or detonate the nuclear payload. The last possibility fills her with dread. While hir suit is designed to shield the user against radiation, it has a limit, and shi has no idea if these missiles will exceed that limit. Shi knows that they have nukes back home, and if they behave the same here, the resulting EMP may disable hir suit, even with shielding designed to protect against all but the largest pulses. An armored, form fitting coffin. Shi manages to intercept a missile, grabbing onto it as it passes. Compared to the giant Fela'hari clinging to it like a pole, the missile is relatively puny by comparison. The AI core scans the missile, searching for the computers. While it does not find them, it does find the fuel tanks. Good enough.

The slugs leap from the gun, the massive recoil (The reason for the hydraulic framework) pitching the missile off course as it feebly attempts to correct. Each slug slams into a rocket at mach 6, detonating the fuel and reducing each missile to a pitiful flash in the vacuum of space, and nothing more than a cloud of shrapnel. The remaining rocket meets a different fate, as a panel bearing the phrase "Property of Big Evil Weaponry Corporation and VeloceRACING) is peeled off. Jessie can imagine the authorities will love to see the panel. Finally, after releasing the rocket to gain some distance from it, the rocket meet a bullet. However, the explosives that trigger the nuclear payload detonate, resulting in a massive nuclear explosion.

Jessie barely struggles to remain conscious. The massive EMP knocks out hir suit, leaving hir to plummet to Earth. Left with no view out, hir camera dying with hir suit, Jessie struggles to hold hir breath, conserving the last bit of breathable air shi has. Shi fearfully waits to feel the pins and needles of radiation penetrating the suit, while shi frantically works to restart hir suit.

Come on, please tell me the auxiliary cell was not fried, she prays, hir lungs straining. Shi has to fight the urge to inhale, but it is getting harder by the second. Shi eventually slowly exhales, then inhales, just to get any fresh oxygen.

The auxiliary cell is a backup feature in case Sak'khari power armor is knocked out of commission, instead of defaulting into a safe mode. Carrying higher shielding against environmental hazards, it is designed to power the suit back up, keeping the user alive while diagnostics and self-repairs can be performed, or the armor can be serviced by dedicated crews. It can be supplanted with the piezoelectric generators in each joint, to provide extra power, and kickstart the main power supply. The auxiliary cell is the last lifeline of a Guardsman; damage to the cell can be fatal in dangerous environments. Users trapped in dead suits describe the experience as hell, as one can almost hear activity outside the suit, but vision is completely gone, and the user is sometimes pinned where they lay, as heavier suits can weigh more than even the cybernetically enhanced Guardsmen can bear. Even if not, wandering blind, deaf and numb in a suit that, without power, becomes a cumbersome hulk, is as dangerous as treading through a minefield.

On hir last gasp of oxygen, Jessie scrabbled with the mental controls, trying to activate the cell. Shi could feel hirself accelerating as gravity took hold. If shi did not reactivate the suit, cooling features needed for a high speed, very high altitude fall (not uncommon with Heavy Support troops, who are known for often entering a battle by raining from the sky) would not activate, leaving hir to burn up upon reentry.

Finally, a spark of life. The icon for auxiliary power appeared on hir display. Inside, Jessie heaves a sigh of relief, although shi is straining to keep from exhaling hir last breath. Now shi needs to wait for safe mode to activate. After an interminable few seconds, the safe mode screen appears, and hir oxygen supply, with 3 minutes of air left, reengages.*

Jessie: *After gasping for air* Oh, thank the gods, yes!

*Fortunately for hir, the suit reports no major damage, although it is recording high radiation levels; thankfully, no suit penetration. Jessie decides to shrink back down to a normal twelve feet, as it will make decontaminating hir far more convenient. Happily, she had the presence of mind to pocket the panel beforehand. Shi shrinks it with hir, to return to normal size once back on solid ground. Shi sends a tone, an agreed message to be sent upon completion and survival*

Ground: Copy that, Aromando. Have the nukes been destroyed?

Jeesie: Yes they are. All destroyed, one detonated. Do you have decontaminaton procedures for radiation?

Ground: We do. We are preparing them immediately.

Jessie: Copy that. I also have a small artifact from one of the missiles. The government are going to want to see it*.

*No, I am not going to reenter politicking again, but VeloceRACING might have to deal with criminal proceedings related to terrorism...
 
With our nuclear weapons plate in the hands of DSRacing, we have no choice, naturally, other than to sweep the whole thing under the carpet. So then, we have our new nightclub, 'The Bunker'.

INT: Lounge

Me: Quick! Quick! The police are arriving! Is the plate on the wall?

Employee: Yes

Me: Great

*Interpol agents walks in*

Interpol Guy 1: I am Agent Svenson, this is my partner Agent Ambuehl. We'd like to ask you some questions

Me: Absolutely, you have our full cooperation

Agent Svenson: We have reason to believe your company was directly involved in a transcontinental nuclear attack.

Me: Agents, I assure you my company had nothing to do with this

Agent Ambuehl: Explain the plating found from one of the payloads, is it yours? (photo of plate)

Me: Err what, well yes, but I would like to show you something

*walks over the identical but slightly different backlit numbered plates hung on the wall*

Me: These were part of the lighting fixtures designed in conjunction with Maison Martin Margiela,

Agent Svenson: Hmm..I see, we'll be in touch.

*Agents exit the building*

Agent Ambuehl: You think he's lying?

Agent Svenson: Probably but without the warheads and a pile of rubble where the launch site probably was, there's not enough evidence. There's something more to it, but I'm afraid we're going to have to let it go this time.
 
I've just found out that I'll be in London on Sunday, so I won't finish this one. Ah well, the Terroristkat is in it for the blowing everything up, not for the winning.

Meanwhile, Katstein is sunning it up in Malta with a walkie-talkie and some sunglasses.

malta_020.jpg


Katstein: Ah, this is the life. Don't you think, Sergei?
Sergei the Assistant: Yes, master. Are you really sure though that it's a good idea go on holiday undisguised?
Katstein: Meh.
Sergei: But er, master, won't the FBI or Interpol come?
Katstein: Meh.
Sergei...
Katstein: Sergei, Sergei, Sergei. Sergei. Haven't you learnt? No-one will come, because I know the Jedi mind trick, remember? Like how I did it to those two agents yesterday.
Sergei: Those were just two girls you met drunk in a bar, master.
Katstein: Whatever. The point is: I rule with my bionic powers, so the FBI are all afraid of me. They won't come near me. That's how I managed to go to Tescos last week, Sergei.
Sergei: Oh yeah.
Katstein: Anyways, can you believe that those James Bond MI5 wannabees at veloceRACING have never heard of two-way communication? I mean, would I really talk to one of my guards under normal circumstances without loads of verbal abuse?
Sergei: No, master. Can I just say, though, master, that our base has been destroyed because you said that you were in Meerkat Manor?
Katstein: (sighs) What part of "don't attack us because we have nukes" don't people get? It's a simple instruction. Don't worry, Sergei. I mean, our car's back in hotel, right?
Sergei: Of course, master. But what about the... thousands of meerkat lives lost?
Katstein: We still have the robot slaves in the underground bunker.
Sergei: ...er yes, master. Of course.
Katstein: Mind you though, it's still an inconvenience. Those robots keep walking into walls. Why did I say I was in Meerkat Manor, and not someplace else, anyways?
Sergei: Because you're mad, master.
Katstein: Oh yeah! Well recalled, Sergei.
Sergei: Thank you master. But, er, aren't you going to attack them with nukes like you promised?
Katstein: I dunno. Nukes are SO last season. Also, I think that their facilities have suffered enough.
Sergei: So what do you propose to do, master?
Katstein: Not sure. Nothing, probably.
Sergei: o_O right... Master, can I propose something? I've managed to recover this from Karoug's pants.
Katstein: What is it?
Sergei: It's a bag full of traceable nanoparticles, master. And also I've found a naked Barbie doll.
Katstein (bemused at why Karoug would have a naked Barbie doll in his pants): Right... so what do you propose to do with them?
Sergei: Well, when Ms. Croft came in, master, she was automatically sprayed with some of this, so we know exactly where she is at any given time. The nanoparticles are designed to attach to the skin, it takes at least 4 days for them to come off.
Katstein: So we know where she is? Good. Lace her food with cyanide or get some of our guys to pay her a visit or something. I don't know, use your imagination. Do you expect me to think up of everything?
Sergei: No, master. I'll get right on to it, master.
 
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An abandoned garage, somewhere in the boondocks of Rhode Island:

A man hunches over a black car, muttering to an unseen entinty. This unseen entity suddenly becomes visible, sticking an arm out from under the engine.

"What in the name of all things holy were you thinking, mate?"

"I don't know, but at least I was thinking! You wanted to use a Lada. I didn't want to push my way through this race, Alan!"

"Lewis.....you bought a taxi. A London taxi. Don't these things have diesel engines?"

"Usually. This one doesn't. Not anymore, at least."

Another arm stuck out from under the black cab, pointing in the general direction of a large wooden crate. The crate had the words "FORD" and "5.0 LITER SMALL BLOCK V8" stamped on the side.

"You know, Lewis, I always thought the term 'crate engine' was just..you know, a term. They actually come in crates?"

"Roger that. Hand me that wrench there, I'm almost done with this block of bolts."

Alan slid the wrench under the car. He looked around the brightly lit garage, examining the debris. Some of it was still in boxes, the rest looked like it had just been picked up from a junkyard. (Most of it was.) A pile of guns drew his attention, at least until he noticed....a sleeper sofa, with Lewis' trademark tweed blazer draped over it.

"Captain.. Have you been sleeping in the garage?"

"How'd you guess? And yes. Beats a stuffy appartment surrounded by preppies."

The sound of a coffee machine interrupts the silence, first a polite "beep" from the timer, then the unmistakable sound of an overflowing carafe.

Lewis swore loudly. "Shit, not again!"
 
Karoug said:
psss. May i have them back before the other teams starts to suspect things? :eek:
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Sorry...I already affixed them flag-style to the Failtima's antenna. :(
 
Well, I said I wouldn't participate again, but whatever I changed my mind. Here's my effort to help make up some numbers.

Autosport said:
Team Lotus 1Ukania Lotus sort-of Racing Lotus Announces Half-Arsed Participation in Wacky Races, Already a Failure of Epic Proportions

http://img593.imageshack.**/img593/7153/laaatus3.jpg

There was an air of secrecy (or the press not really giving a shit) at 1Ukania's top secret proving ground in Piddington, Englandshire today. After much deliberation, the team's plans for late 2010 were finally revealed to the press. Although only Nuts and Viz magazine turned up to the actual unveiling (and they were there for the booze) it soon became apparent that 1Ukania Lotus whateverthefuckitscalled have developed a highly impressive machine, which will be piloted by usual driver Don Ington as well as Japanese pay co driver Kazuki Nakajima.

As well as this the team showed off their impressive and completely original new livery.

Tony Fernandes was unavailable for comment, as he was too busy screaming endless expletives at his television
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PaperBiro said:
Sergei: It's a bag full of traceable nanoparticles, master. And also I've found a naked Barbie doll.
Katstein (bemused at why Karoug would have a naked Barbie doll in his pants): Right... so what do you propose to do with them?
Sergei: Well, when Ms. Croft came in, master, she was automatically sprayed with some of this, so we know exactly where she is at any given time. The nanoparticles are designed to attach to the skin, it takes at least 4 days for them to come off.
Katstein: So we know where she is? Good. Lace her food with cyanide or get some of our guys to pay her a visit or something. I don't know, use your imagination. Do you expect me to think up of everything?
Sergei: No, master. I'll get right on to it, master.
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Oh silly Meerkat, with money comes R&D facilities and with R&D facilities come full body scanners (no, not the X-ray ones) which detect unwanted things like those after mentioned nano particles.

Now excuse me, it's time for my afternoon champagne and caviar.
 
In a warehouse outside Austin, a new team was forming, planning to take the Wacky race by storm, with a large budget, the new team was able to hire some of the best engineers from many of the most successful F1 teams. Several employees even flew to the UK and kidnapped a certain mysterious creature from an airfield in Surrey...

And then we ran out of money to spend on a car.

Having a very small budget, we were able to get an amazing vehicle, a technological marvel, the pinnacle of racing development:

hyundai_elantra_gls_2010


The 2010 Hyundai Elantra.

With a limited budget we were desperate and went to the Avis rental lot, and asked for anything. It was either this or an Aveo. Fortunately, this car has several modifications:
  • We stole the chassis and AWD system from somebody's Subaru Impreza WRX. Sorry about that.
  • We salvaged an engine from a burnt Ferrari 458, and placed it in the center of the Elantra, after taking out the back seats. No word on whether it actually works or not.
  • We took the suspension from a Lotus Elise and placed it in the Elantra, improving the handling significantly

The interior and exterior have not been modified in any way, anybody who chooses to attack us will struggle to distinguish us from any other beige Elantra. The interior needs a cleaning though, someone even left Swedish pants in the trunk. People just don't know how to treat rental cars.

Ninjacoco:watch out you're our main enemy. Being only 100 miles from our headquarters and driving an equally crappy car... PREPEARE TO EAT KOREAN RENTAL CAR DUST!!!

We proudly introduce you to:

SCUDERIA ELANTRA

Note:We refuse to take sides or get involved in any conflicts that may arise between DSRacing,veloceRACING or Katstein Terroristkat

P.S.We may have angered Avis, a random Subaru owner and the BBC, whoops.
P.S. Does anybody have any raw meat and racing grade petrol, the Stig is hungry.
 
Kimi has decided on his race suit, a gorilla suit. We've tried to reason with him but he didn't listen. 2nd driver announcement coming soon.
 
Wikileaks said:
First testing session notes:

Main complication: furries do not take high temperatures well. Original!Clay knows this well. However, it turns out our alien employees come from a planet where the average maximum temperature is roughly 40?F (Average minimum:-60?F). They told us that 70?F is about the maximum they can tolerate for very short periods, and 90?F will kill them in short order. (That would explain why they tended to stay near their offices, with the AC cranked all the way up.) You can probably imagine their reaction when an employee told them that our Summer temps routinely reach that. It also happens to be around the cabin temp for the Transit, with the small AC unit. Happily, they usually wear a skinsuit underneath their clothing/armor (I'm told they tend to get quite hot around the back area), designed to insulate and regulate body temperatures. However, according to FIA rules, they are illegal. This, of course, coincided with the realization that we aren't in an FIA-sanctioned race (And that they probably would make exceptions for this situation.) However, the medical treatment needed took up most of the day, so testing was scrapped.

Car notes: No power armor can be worn, it turns out. Too large, and too heavy, especially Jessie's. Happily, the armored racing suits have been completed ahead of schedule.

--Alien Notes--

Clay: How's this for a bit of a disadvantage for performance driving: blindness. Yes, Alien!Clay was (accidentally) created blind. However, as a child, in addition to the pole, he has practiced echolocation for quiet places. (Apparently, Fela'hari were engineered with incredibly keen hearing. That explains the large ears.) Being a Guardsman has it's advantages: he has had ocular prostheses (Cameras in place of his eyeballs, which are the reason for their glassy black appearance) and his favorite, a reality bending skill that lets him sense all objects within a three-hundred foot radius. So no issues, then.

Also told me that Guardsmen only need at least an hour of sleep a day to function. Excellent.

James: Still actively anti-social. He doesn't seem to like me very much, unlike the other three. I want the old James back.

Jessie: Showed up for work this morning with studded collar and arm warmers, much to James' disgust, Serrera's embarrasments, and slight surprise for almost everyone else. Seems to have picked up Original!Jessie's interests in art, rallying, and Subarus. In addition, shi has developed an interest in modifying engines, starting out with 2-strokes. I saw hir a day ago, inspecting a Zenoah RC engine head with a Dremel in hand.

Also, turns out that skull tattoo on hir face is actually a full-body skeleton tattoo. It's apparently popular amongst Heavy Support troops, even if their superiors aren't exactly approving of it.

Serrera: The rest of the team absolutely love her. However, at least one, more than normal. Tried to romance Serrera. Ended up becoming extremely disturbing, succeeding at doing nothing more than squick, then piss off Serrera, culminating with Serrera shooting him in the penis. (Expected to make an almost full recovery. Chances of having kids: terminal. Charges levied against Serrera: ruled self-defense, again.)
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http://img542.imageshack.**/img542/9190/wackyraces2011.jpg

veloceRACING is proud to announce its participation in the FinalGear Wacky Race Winter 2010 in association with two British icons of performance and style, Jaguar Motors and design house, Alexander McQueen.

 Vehicle
Elegance and Style encapsulate the CX-75 and thus, is a perfect representation of what both veloceRACING and Jaguar Motors both stand for. Inspired by the 1966 Jaguar XJ13 LeMans prototype, its ingenious style and groundbreaking performance raise the bar ever higher for automotive technological and design advancement. With an interior designed by legendary design house, Alexander McQueen, it is nothing short of exquisite.

Specifications
0-60: 2.0 SEC Normal Mode, CLASSIFIED RACE MODE
0-100: 4.0 SEC Normal Mode, CLASSIFIED RACE MODE
Drive: AWD
Power: 1000kW Normal Mode, CLASSIFIED RACE MODE
Engine: Mj?llnir assisted Dom Perignon derived liquidized diamond race fuel powered jet propulsion unit

Arnaments
This year's vehicle features many new distinctive and innovative features, however most notable is use of an artifact recently acquired from Scandinavia, Mj?llnir. A hammer said to have been wielded by the god Thor and have the power to level entire mountains at a time. With such tremendous power. Modified for more control, It now forms the basis of our armaments system. The hammer is also said to have the ability to return to its owner, as such this has presented the opportunity for a system which provides infinite ammunition with devastating capabilities.

Dymanics
The performance for the CX-75 has been completely revamped, the use of new nanotech technology has boosted power outputs to new levels and has enhanced acceleration. Handling has also been improved with our updated SPYDER handiling pack which adapts the chassis and components of the car to the road surface as well featuring a submersible mode which can be used to traverse on or under liquids.

Amenities
No car is complete without the added creature comforts, at veloceRACING we have one policy; no compromise and therefore our car includes a state-of-the art multitouch HUD enabled split view windscreen for the driver and passenger as well as an on board catering and entertainment/communications system that allow our drivers to stay fresh, keep in contact and be entertained on their journey. Health is also a main priority so also included is a medical diagnostics system to keep our drivers in shape.
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In a warehouse somewhere outside of Melbourne...

https://pic.armedcats.net/r/ri/richmondgal/2010/12/16/Untitled-1.jpg

RG: You know this is the wrong car?

Scotty: Really?

RG: Not the one we said we were racing in, but still it is similar. It's just got air scoops, a curvy grille and different colour.

Scotty: Then why did we put the other one up for all our fans to see?

RG: Because that was the one we used for the showdown, but...it crashed. So we have a new-ish one, which looks like it.

Scotty: What have we got under the bonnet?

RG: Pulled the V8 out and got a V10 supercharged and chipped. It's now 775BHP. I've put on hard suspension, so you've gonna have to deal with that. Torque is nearly a thousand. Got the backseats out too.

Scotty: Anything else?

*Figure comes out of the car*

Scotty:...Freddie?
 
Pfft, a modified Hyundai. The Failtima is completely stock (and broken). Maybe Karoug's pants count as an aerodynamic aid hindrance, but that's about it. Please, please, please kill it for my amusement.

<3 / Team Polished Turd
 
From beneath the pillars of creation a low rumble begins to shake the world

Me: Hey Lucy! I knew you'd show up!!

Lucifer: Don't call me that...

Me: Sorry...

Lucifer: I assumed you'd be pants-less so i brought you these!

Me: zOMG! They are on FIRE! AWESOME!

Lucifer: And this jacket!

Me: ALSO ON FIRE! I am now officially the hottest guy on the planet!

Lucifer: ...

Me: Have you given any thoughts to our ride this time?

Lucifer: Well, yes. I have a few ideas.

Me: Does it have a fridge? I don't think we can steal another one. They got mad security yo!

Lucifer: of course it does... Here is it:
https://pic.armedcats.net/k/ka/karoug/2010/12/16/wierd-cars-1_7071.jpg

Me: It's a ball...
 
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