Funny Craigslist Ads

[BigDaveDogg]

Post the funny Craigslist ads you come across. Hopefully we can get a nice compilation.

I bought this bike with the intention of pulling mad tail. I used to drive a Ford Exploder and figured that the punani would flock in like mad if I bought a R6. Unfortuneatly I missed the memo where motorcycles stopped being cool after those dripsacks at Touchstone released Wild Hogs.

Motorcycles become bad ass with scenes of Tom Cruise riding his Kawasaki into the sunset. Motorcycles became the lamented stereotype of John Travolta skinny dipping with other men. Scientologists.

I don't need it, it was a retarded impulse buy with the dumbest bank on the planet, I have no urge to ride it. I wanted to turn it into a track bike, but I don't need another retarded expensive hobby.

Cosmetically it?s practically perfect besides for a scrape on the right lower fairing and mid-pipe on the exhaust (you can barely tell, as you can see in the picture). The douchecanoe I bought it from thought it would be a good idea to armor-all the tires to make it look pretty? Well his idea worked because I bought this bike based solely on the fact it had shiny tires.

Long story short, I laid it down doing 5mph in the parking lot the night I bought trying to jump off of a train like those guys in Torque. It slid for like a foot and half and if you insist on making a big deal about it I will put a new frame slider on it for you.

The reason you should buy this POS:

* Limited Edition color I guess.
* 13k Miles. (3k Mine 10k moron that sold me the bike with armorall on the tires)
* DynoJet Power Commander (+200 fwhp)
* Leather interior
* Micron Highmount
* Frame Sliderzzzzz (You are gonna get good use of)
* Small Turn Signals
* Heated/Cool cup holders swapped from a Mini Cooper
* Extra sprocket.
* Black painted windscreen. Don?t even pretend like you are good enough to tuck.
* Stock Exhaust and Turn Signals in hand.
* Side impact air bags.
* 2 Rear wheels, one with Flat tire came with it? wtfMATE?
* Red Neon under fearing kit, Solid or sound powered (Siqq)
* Free Wendy's Baconator Coupon underneath the rear seat
* Pay my asking price and get some Gloves and All Weather Nelson-Rigg Cover too.
* Don?t pay asking price and get one glove.
* Title in Hand


$5500 OBO



Will not sell to DFR, or people named Khalid. Or BMW owners.

Will not trade for DSMs or Evos. However, I am willing to run your car in the quarter faster than you can drive it, free of charge. HIGHLY not interested in your POS drift car, Nick Hogan wannabe.

Keywords: Yamaha, , Suzuki Kawasaki, Honda, Ducati, R1, GSXR, Paul Walker, ZX, 600, Herpes, laid down bike, Yager bombs

 

[KaJuN]

Oh man where to start? :lol: The "leather interior", "side impact airbags" and "free Wendy's Baconator coupon underneath the rear seat" got the most laughs from me.

 

[Lupin_IV]

This is a 1986 2.o 16 valve TURBO SAAB! I bought it with Tuff truck intentions and lost intrest! My loss you gain! Runs and drives i dont no to much about it other than that! Make an offer or willing to trade!
http://img149.imageshack.**/img149/2118/01010301020501040020080lm0.jpg

 

[klutch]

Post the funny Craigslist ads you come across. Hopefully we can get a nice compilation.

Haha, as soon as I saw your thread, I was thinking of that bike ad.


Here's some good'uns.

to the guy doing my wife

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-02-21, 1:43PM CST


To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?

5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).

6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not
mentaly challenged.

7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.

8.When she asks "do these pants make me look fat", say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don't feel rushed.

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Thanks This was not writen by anyone named Jack S.

Geo metro

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Date: 2008-01-21, 12:58AM PST


1994 Geo metro - Windshield cracked. Door hinges missing on drivers side - door falls off when handle pulled and must be "placed" back on to close. Passenger side door will not open at all, probably for humanitarian reasons. Muffler fell off, now in back seat but you wont notice the noise because the shame will be deafening. Car would overheat if engine would stay running long enough but mercifully, it will not. Steering wheel loose and missing mounting nut. Front right brake rotor damaged when wheel fell off while driving. Many dents(several from my foot), scrapes, rust and holes here and there. Radio has "William Shatner Christmas carols" cassette tape stuck in deck, enjoy. Radio catches on fire at random. Minor smoke damage from radio and other misc. electrical fires though not on headliner as it caught fire as well and was thrown from vehicle. Front bumper fell off (I left it). Brakes squeak,wheels squeak, wipers squeak, everything squeaks and/or is broken. Headlights blink on and off, turn signals do not. Drivers seat mounting rails broken off in back, brick under seat. "New car smell" has given way to "old rat decomp". Stains on upholstery are primarily not urine related. Engine has original horsepower (both) and few of the critical parts have fallen totally off. Rust holes in floorboards covered with tattered garbage bags and duck tape scoop up exhaust fumes from missing muffler. Car will not make it, must tow (preferably on a trailer with a solid deck and sides to avoid leaving a trail of parts behind as they fall off during your trip). thanks-Jumpinjoe

 

[Peter3hg]

Oh man where to start? :lol: The "leather interior", "side impact airbags" and "free Wendy's Baconator coupon underneath the rear seat" got the most laughs from me.

The "200+ fwhp" is the best.

 

[watto]

Hahahaha, craigslist is awesome. Some of the best-of's are just hilarious!

Planned parenthood - m4w
Date: 2008-02-28, 10:53PM CST

You are a stunning girl in your early 20's you have short black hair and striking blue eyes. You were wearing skinny jeans and a dark grey coat, you had a sexy lip ring in the middle of your luscious lips and large blue earrings. I thought you winked at me out of the corner of my eye, but I'm not sure. I was waiting in the lobby with my ex to see if she was preggers but it's ok cuz shes not. Please respond.

 

[BigDaveDogg]

So this thread failed, lol. Here's a link to a lot of funny ads anyway

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

 

[Donington]

This one's off the bay, but worthy of a mention.

This is a rare opportunity to purchase one of the most annoying cars on the road today

If you have ever had your peace disturbed by the boom boom of one of these nuisance cars now is the chance to get your own back and take great delight in destroying it, not on the Queens highway though obviously.
It was seized by the police for being driven with no insurance (surprise surprise) and has now been authorised for disposal to try to recover some of the cost.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190212476532

 

[Lupin_IV]

That sack of rice was originally a GM product!?
Sad.