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Group fictional story....

Olds442

Olds442

Active Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2005
Messages
443
Location
NY USA
Basically a fictional story that everybody can have a hand in building on.
First come first served when adding a chapter.
Rules:
1) Keep the chapters a managable length. (1-2 paragraphs max)
2) Keep entries relatively clean. (minors read these posts)
3) Use your imagination, be creative.
4) Format is open. It can be poetry if you want as long as it progresses the story line.
5) If your post ends up out of sequence because of another post please edit your post to reflect a blank.
6) Keep your chapter open ended for somebody else to continue.
7) No haiku. (nobody understands that stuff anyway)

Otherwise, have fun.
I've done this elsewhere and it's worked and was cool.


I'll start:

Junior like to fish. He walked down to the pond and cast his line into the water. While he waited for a bite he ate a baloney and peanut sandwich. Suddenly his reel started spinning as something took the bait.
For two hours he fought and was finally able to pull in his catch. As he pulled his hook out of the water he was amazed to find at the end of his line a.........
 
2005 Nismo Skyline Ztuned he ran home to tell his Papa he reposned..........
 
"Stop smoking crack!"
The child stared at Papa in a slightly hurt manner. Papa was a cold man, indifferent to his son's pragmatic, usually pointless and convoluted ramblings about cars and unicorn feces. He had survived both World Wars and a stint in the Balkans, and wasn't about to take shit rom his adopted half-cousin's third fiancee's roommate's nephew's 8th adopted son from Cambodia, Junior. Besides, who names a kid Junior, anyway?

The child left. "Hmph," Papa muttered upon returning to his The Guardian, "who likes cars, anyway? I could outrun a leper's nipple with my one good leg, strapped to a 3-eyed goldfish. Kids these days!"
 
Junior decided it was time to leave home. So, following the footsteps of his favorite movie character, Indiana Jones, he named himself after his Yorkshire Terrier, Plumpings, and hoped on a coin operated horse, shouting, "My name is Plumpings! You shall all know and fear me as I eat your cat's ears and claw your dog's noses!"
 
One of the neighbours was so pissed at the loud shouting, that he took out his desert eagle poin five zero, and before you can say kaboom, he shot junior, aka plumpings, dead in the head.
 
It wasn't long after that, the police came to the scene. They cordoned off the whole street. The ?newscopters? buzzed overhead. Of course, they had know idea who had shot him. So working logically they...
 
...decided to stop ending each others sentances. I mean, come on, it's really creepy.

Meanwhile, pop was getting drunk off some 40-year old bottle of Jack Daniels.
 
"About time those pig coppers got Junior," he said, drowning his face in another wineglass of Jack. It was the only drinking vessel they had, ever since their snooty 2nd cousin had come back to visit from the vineyards of Napa County merely to show off the money he had made there as an insurance telemarketer and part-time discount Viagra spammer. What a tool he looked, with his prim, slicked-back hair and designer glasses, shooting up the mountain roads with aplomb in his Porsche 911 Carrera 4S, child-support checks flying out the passenger window. Luckily he had died in a gang shootout as he was overdosing on heroin with two bisexual Thai child prostitutes standing over him with switchblades pointed at his three nipples, so Papa was glad about that. He quit reminiscing, though, considering his long-dead wife's family had a history of taking over small third-world countries and exporting novelty lighters to obscure villages in the Arctic Circle for no particular reason.

"About damn time," he finished reminiscing and inexplicably threw the wineglass violently at their cat Fusker, who screamed a high A-flat and swore in Portugese. "Now I can finally get back to what I've always loved to do..."
 
MASTERBATE TO LESBO PRON w00t
 
And so he masturbated to LESBO PRON. And it was good. And the gods made love. And frogs fell around them inexplicably. And the sun and the moon had a nice Beef Wellington together. And Jennifer Aniston broke up with Brad Pitt again, to the surprise of utterly no one. And the neighbor's dog caught on fire spontaneously. (But it wasn't the neighbor who shot Junior; he had suddenly won the lottery with a can of Cheez Whiz and was promptly robbing the bank with a comatose porcupine to fend off his relatives. Otherwise it would have been poetic justice.) And it was good.
 
But, as always, all good things must come to an end. A pissed off necromancer decided to "get back at the man" and raised Junior as an undead zombie. well, as opposed to a dead zombie or living zombie. Living zombies just give me the creeps.
 
"GODDAMMIT!" Papa said. "I THOUGHT THEY KILLED HIM! I THOUGHT THEY ZARKING KILLED HIM! Why can't we properly kill somebody today? God, is our society so inept that we can't even kill somebody and make sure they're dead anymore? God damn Barbra Streisand!" He ranted and raved as he unpacked his chihuahua launcher. An experimental device, he hand-fabricated it himself by hand during the Battle of Hastings where he fought the Klingons outside the Texas Stadium where the Chargers were playing Petter Solberg's skydiving team. It had been sitting in his backyard nuclear bunker for a few minutes, yet the rodents had already gotten to it. Thus, it was in pieces, and the most vital component was missing, if Papa could remember it.

"What was that piece again? Damn kids, and their portable telephones..."
 
Meanwhile, the police were throwing rocks at undead Junior. Imajackass Newsreporterdick asks one of them "why are you using rocks instead of your guns?"

"Look, Jackass, everyone knows the only weapons that work against a zombie is a shot gun coupled with a chainsaw."

"What about chihuahua luncher?"

"Well, that's a bit overkill, but it's not like you can exactly find one on every street corner."

"That man over there seems to have one" Imajackass said, pointing at pop.

"Son of a Bitch."
 
...realzing there'se nothing here since this world exploded, they went back home empty handed.
 
And pop, the only survivor shouted drunken rants at the aliens.

"That's why I said we should make aliens illegal. They can't make difference of up and down if a sideways eyed male tiger whore sucked their nipples till they fell off."
 
And then a young man popped in and yelled WTF is going on here?

Let's have gay sex. So he called his alien friends and they started to fuck with their fingers (yes, those were Aliens from the planet Dildo) when a young girl sudenly entered the room signing a Madonna song...
 
...whose lyrics had a line that went "wtf is up with this gay porn stuff". Unfortunatelly the true answer of the question will remain the song's mystery.
 
So they let the young girl (who was over 18 by the way) join in. This made the sex not-so-gay now.

"Hooray!!!" They shouted...
 
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