Hamster brawls bouncer

Ironlord

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Interrobang

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http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article1700573.ece
On a recent US trip with co-presenter Jeremy Clarkson, the 38-year-old car fanatic stood up to a nightclub bouncer.
?Jeremy almost had a dust-up with a bouncer,? Richard reveals.
?I don?t know why, but he pulled a collapsing telescopic cosh on me. [...]
Them Americuhns again ... how dare they not fall on the ground and pray to our Gods!

But in no seriousness at all ... Richard and Jeremy were just behaving like real Brits on vacation do :p:p
 

James May's Hair

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If this story is true, then nice one, Richard. I ****ing LOATHE Bouncers.

I punched one once, must be a good ten years ago now. Don't get me wrong; I'm the quiet type who minds his own business, but the short-arsed, fat, stocky little twat picked on the wrong guy. They are all criminals of some description or other anyway and too thick to do a proper job.

Hurrah for Richard.
 
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amandalea

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'I?ve got mad moves that would tie a ninja in knots.'
Oh my God, Richard. Please don't say that. It's cringe-inducing.
:blink:
 

tone76

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He probably gnawed at said bouncer in question, that's about as ninja as hamsters get.

That said, the story sounds just a teensy weensy bit like the kind of thing the work experience student at a PR agency would cook up about one of the agency's clients after one too many lines of coke for lunch ...
 

mclarensmps

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'I?ve got mad moves that would tie a ninja in knots.'
Oh my God, Richard. Please don't say that. It's cringe-inducing.
:blink:
We all know he's always wanted to be a black rapper on escapades in his escalade :p

I punched one once, must be a good ten years ago now.
I'm picturing James May's Hair punching a bouncer and the image in my head amuses me.
 

LindenChase

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James has written about Richard's Ninja skills::D

Richard Hammond likes fighting. He really does. He was once bitterly disappointed that he wouldn't be able to take part in a proposed boxing programme called something like 'I'm a celebrity, get me in the ring and see if I can last three rounds'. I believe he also once had a 'friendly fight' with someone inside a pick-up truck.
In Hammond's ideal world, all the pub furniture in Britain would be made from balsa wood and all the windows from boiled sugar, so we could all have a big brawl in the evening without doing any serious damage. In truth, he should have been in the army. The gurkhas, perhaps.
Meanwhile - and I think Clarkson's with me on this one - I hate fighting, largely because I'm very bad at it. Even in a world where quite a few people seem to want to punch me in the face, I will still do everything within my considerable diplomatic power to talk my way out of a scrap.
This is why it's quite good hanging around with Hammond, because if I fail to disarm my enemies with tact, I can always set the world's hardest hamster on them. In return, I once negotiated his escape from a pub in which he'd almost started a fight with six off-duty American marines. Pillock.
 

amandalea

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I'm picturing James May's Hair punching a bouncer and the image in my head amuses me.
HAH! I'm getting an image worthy of Family Guy, when Chuck Norris' fist comes out of his beard, and whatnot. :lol:

Edit: *facepalm* of course, it's different when someone's called James May's Hair.
Christ. <_<
 

Rumer

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Hang on a sec...Ninja skills...Hamster...Could it be that Hammond is the real Choda Boy?

ETA: A-HA! Found it! Sorry the quality's poor, they're the only clips I could find.
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQrHsrKIspM[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVbR8YTmTFE[/YOUTUBE]
 
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ldhenson

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'I?ve got mad moves that would tie a ninja in knots.'
Oh my God, Richard. Please don't say that. It's cringe-inducing.
:blink:
Apparently the quotes are pulled from an interview with Richard in Nuts. (I can't claim credit for finding it; I'd never even heard of the mag.) The bit about ninjas is in response to a question about whether Jeremy would protect him in a fight. Still a silly line, but understandably silly in context :)
 

NooDle

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does anyone seriously think the pint sized Hamster could take on a bouncer? Any bouncer?

Sure he may be loud and angry, but generally a bouncer is a 7ft mass of muscles and testosterone, I doubt 1 guy can take them down...
 
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