Have you lost any relationships with friends/family over religion?

[Lightning Count]

First off, let me say that this is not an anti-religion thread in any way.

A good friend of my cousin got thrown out of her house because she became atheist, her mother was really deep into Christianity and would quote the bible in everyday discussion and attend church. She basically told her daughter she was going to hell.

Eventually they started talking again but it's super awkward especially since the daughter is bisexual which naturally a source of conflict. Her mother views if like a disease and has become obsessed with conversion treatments, which are pretty vile, she even mentioned going abroad to check it out because it's illegal here (rightfully so). I fear that if they don't reconcile soon the daughter will cut the mother off completely as it's close to breaking point.

Anyone else have any similar experiences?

 

[eizbaer]

My mother had a very very distant relationship to two of her brothers and their families for a long while because they were very deeply into the whole jehovas witness thing. luckily, they somehow disentangled themselves from that group a few years back (i never really witnessed (huehuehue) any of it) and are basically back to normal, as far as i can judge. religion and the like never is a topic in any conversation, ever, though

 

[LeVeL]

I have a distant cousin who is a rabbi. I don't keep in touch with that side of the family but the relatives that do basically follow a "live and let live" strategy - i.e. don't get into religious discussions with the rabbi because he won't like it, and he does the same

My girlfriend's father comes from a rather religious Catholic family and when he converted to Judaism when marrying, the family wasn't pleased but they accepted it and relations were not soured.

 

[Jay]

Thankfully, no. My parents are very religious, my mother very much so, but they have accepted long ago I am not going to follow rules written in a book that are often contradictory, or spend time in a place where people can be downright weird and creepy every Sunday.

They also may be one of the few evangelicals that are also pinko leftists. Much like their Savior...




*I do believe in something higher than myself, btw

 

[GRtak]

I have a sister and a brother in law that are both ministers. It can get quite tense at times, but unless they get real preachy with me, I let most of their nonsense slide. My mother is disappointed in my lack of faith, but she has accepted the fact that I am an atheist. The rest of the family believe, but are not militant about it.

I have lost relationships over it though. In both cases the girlfriend insisted that I humor her ultra religious parents so she wouldn't be outed. I am not going to hide who I am to let her hide. One of them even wanted me to get baptized by her parents church so they could be sure I was worthy. She later cut off all ties to her family over the issue.

 

[Redliner]

Kinda.
My father simply does not accept that I am an atheist, so I just avoid the subject and just nod whenever something about that comes up.
I baptized my son because he asked, but I told him I would not attend church or do anything other than take him there to be baptized and specially let him choose from this point on what religion he would follow, if any.

 

[rickhamilton620]

I pretty much let on to my mom (who's religious-ish but doesn't attend church due to limited mobility) that I'm an Atheist in the context of another conversation we were having this past summer. She took it surprisingly well (my family on that side is very socially conservative) although there was some latent pushback that I believe happened after she spoke with my uber-religious Grandma. However since that it's been fine.

My (in kinda frail health) Grandma will inevitably turn a convo into a "this is why the world is terrible because these kids aren't brought up in the church/gotta know your bible" deal...i just nod and ignore her - really don't feel like dealing with the anger and ancillary shit (my uncle will inevitably find out that I "upset" her and who knows what the fuck that'll do since he's been relatively stable as of late...) that would happen after I tell her.

It's just not worth upsetting her over revealing that, shocker, I haven't attended a church service in easily 8 years and no...I don't read my Bible...i actually don't have one lol.

Besides, if I get a steady boyfriend and she's still alive, I'll have to tackle THAT can of worms with her....that'll really be fun.

 

[calvinhobbes]

Yup: my paternal aunt. Her husband died and she got together with another man later on. That guy was a holier-than-though Catholic with severe psychological issues, but at the time I was too young to know that such things even exist and everyone else avoided the issue. Another issue that was avoided was his complete and utter hypocrisy: he was married, but separated from his wife and lived with my widowed aunt for decades - while telling others about morale and decency.

Anyway, come the time before one birthday or Christmas, I was on the phone with that "uncle" of mine and talking about my wish(es). I gave him what he considered the golden opportunity to get my oh-so-annoying and secular (the horror) immediate family out of his life when I mentioned a big, expensive trainset. No matter that all I wanted was to ask whether or not they'd be fine with contributing to that. No matter that my father called them again soon after I'd put the phone down after receiving a heavy, undeserved and completely inappropriate bollocking. No matter that my aunt had relied heavily on my father to get her through depression, loneliness and alcoholism.

No, from then on, to him, I was a greedy, uneducated brat who had wanted a 1000 Mark trainset from him. I was to be sent admonishing Christmas and birthday cards for the following years, always with a Christian theme and always with an arrogant quote - sent by a man who was committing adultery every single day for years and years on end. End result: big trouble between my estranged aunt and my father after the hypocritical arsehole had finally kicked the bucket. Suffice to say that I'm honestly proud of my dad for saying "No, I will not agree to him being buried in the family grave."



I did manage to save up for that trainset, by the way.

 

[NecroJoe]

I used to serve mass, and sing in the choir...but once I started working, I no longer really tagged along with the family to church. Once I started high school, I was already only ever going to the evening CCD classes once a week, anyway, and was really only sticking with it on the off chance that one day I want to get married to a catholic who wants a "traditional" wedding in a church, with a priest, etc. If I get my Confirmation out of the way, it's way less to worry about down the road.

Turns out, I meet a jew, and we don't really care to get married.

With all that said, my mom has gotten a bit more religious as the years have gone on, especially once her dad died (he was living with them). She doesn't go to church, but says prayers, believes in god, and likes many pro-Christianity things on Facebook.

The past 5-10 years, any time God, church, etc comes up in some conversation, my mom mentions that she'd like to hear about what my thoughts are on religion. I know she means well, and I honestly think she's genuinely curious...but it also open-minded enough to appreciate my thoughts and I know I can deliver them in a way that isn't insulting to her and her own beliefs.

That would not be the case with one particular aunt.

 

[GRtak]

When asked "What do you think about religion" or "the Bible" etc., I have to ask, "Are you prepared for the answer"?

I think one Aunt is still in shock over the answer.

 

[Interrobang]

[...] Anyone else have any similar experiences?

No.
There are some people in my family who are "real" christians who actually believe in god and not just say they are and only go to church for christmas - but even for them me being atheist isn't really a problem. But I also don?t interfere with their life or lecture them or anything like that. As long as there are small children around, I for example play along each year that the presents for christmas were from the Christkind brings the presents - because that?s the way they want to raise their children. I try my best to honor their believes and traditions even though they are not my own (any more).
If I wouldn?t respect them and their believes, I think they also wouldn't respect me and mine. This is a two way street, a lot of people forget that and that is the reason for a lot of conflicts.

[...] I fear that if they don't reconcile soon the daughter will cut the mother off completely as it's close to breaking point.

There is a lot in the Bible (new testament obviously) about inviting the sinner in, embracing the sinner, forgiveness bla bla that may help ease tensions. A good bible study may show hateful-mom that she is wrong in her ways - by christian standards.