Herpaderp and general screw-ups thread

I was making a sandwich and had to open some Miracle Whip. In the process of removing the anti-tamper seal under the lid, like just as the nearly impossible to remove in a whole peice peice of trash seal thing pops off, I drop the jar and it lands on the floor oozing the majority of the contents out.


:huh: :shock2: :shakefist: :bangin:




Then the GF says "Wow, that was quite a load. Does that mean you will be useless later??? "


:clap: :lmao:
 
Must spread more Miracle Whip before covering GRtak's girlfriend with it again.
 
DanRoM said:
I locked myself out today on my way to the basement. I had the keys for my motorcycle with me because I wanted to check something about the cases and therefore forgot the keys to my flat. Cue visiting the neighbours, calling my parents from there and then waiting 45 minutes on the playground outside for my father to arrive with the spare keys because there was an accident-induced traffic jam on the Autobahn...
Click to expand...

Remind me of something I did about a year ago.

I had made an appointment to get cable internet installed. I schedule it for the evening time slot (5PM-8PM), and got home from work at 4h45.

I saw the videotron van waiting outside, even though I was early, so I parked my car in our underground parking, rush out of the parking lot, jump over the sensor to make sure the garage door closes right behind me, and just as I ear it close, I remember my apartment (and the garage) keys are in my car.

So the cable guy had to wait patiently 30 minutes with me for another tenant to get home to give us access to the garage so I could fetch my apartment keys.
 
I woke up for morning training once, boiled the kettle, poured some cereal, got the milk out.... then poured the freshly boiled kettle water all over my cereal. I think tried to save it by immediately following it with cold milk and then tried to eat it. Burnt cornflakes in hot watery milk.... I nearly gipped all over the table.

That was a massive fail.

Im not alone though, I think many swimmers who are into hard core training are so weary when they get up they do all sorts of dumb shit. My friend put her whole cup of tea in the bin instead of the tea bag and then put the kettle in the fridge instead of the milk.

its like everythings wired wrong.
 
Tiredness in general screws with your head. I have failed to operate a magazine or a sweatshirt because of tired.
 
Sometimes I have a habit of looking for stuff that I'm holding. Like this morning, I spent 5 minutes looking for my phone when, wait, I'm actually holding it in my hand.
 
otispunkmeyer said:
I woke up for morning training once, boiled the kettle, poured some cereal, got the milk out.... then poured the freshly boiled kettle water all over my cereal. I think tried to save it by immediately following it with cold milk and then tried to eat it. Burnt cornflakes in hot watery milk.... I nearly gipped all over the table.

That was a massive fail.

Im not alone though, I think many swimmers who are into hard core training are so weary when they get up they do all sorts of dumb shit. My friend put her whole cup of tea in the bin instead of the tea bag and then put the kettle in the fridge instead of the milk.

its like everythings wired wrong.
Click to expand...

When working early mornings i would get up around 4:30am and do myself some breakfast. One morning i had noticed we were out of sugar. For some reason i found a clear plastic bag of white powder behind the sugar jar and for whatever reason assumed that it was sugar. poored it into the jar and then sprinkled it on my corn flakes. went into the living room. put the tv on took a massive mouthful of my corn flakes only to realise what was in that plastic bag. it was salt.

the taste was so awful that even now to this day i can still remember it. i damn near choked on it. spent the next 30 minutes downing whatever drink i could find and remove the taste from my mouth.
 
Miracle Whip is disgusting.

1. I pulled out of a parking spot inside a parking garage, forgetting I parked next to a support pillar. Ripped off my front bumper causing $2K in damages.
2. I put a Digiorno pizza inside the oven with the cardboard still attached under the pizza. Raw crust is nasty.
3. I deleted my dad's WordPerfect folder in DOS thinking it was Microsoft Word because I needed free space for my games. Years of documents gone.
4. I looked all around the house for my shoes. I was holding them in my left hand.
5. I spent an hour taking apart a Dell Mini to upgrade the RAM only to find out it's soldered onto the motherboard. A 10-second Google search could have saved me the trouble.
 
Once I put a pizza inside the oven still wrapped in plastic. First bite tasted like plastic.
 
Oh. That reminds me.
My bumpers/fender flares/rockers every time I park the car. Fuck you roundness I have no idea where the edges are without buying those door stopper things for the sides that go SPRONNNGGGG
 
I once used confectionery sugar instead of flour making a pizza, that was delicious pizza though.
 
For roughly two minutes this morning, I stood there next to my Regal, trying to stick the ignition key in the door lock

....and my keyring has THREE FEKIN KEYS ON IT.

not fifty-eight. or seventeen. or ten. or six. THREE. And the ignition key is the only one with a big piece of plastic on it to help you grip it better.

:hammer:

And then I crunched the bumper against the curb while parking at school this morning. I'd better warn my computer tech professor not to let me near any of the computers today.

I blame all of this on driving a car I care only slightly more about than the bird poo on its roof. If I was driving a car I liked and cared about then I'd actually think about these things, dammit
 
Pedrocas said:
Once I put a pizza inside the oven still wrapped in plastic. First bite tasted like plastic.
Click to expand...

Back in berkeley I was reheating pizza that was in the fridge. Put the entire pie in the oven, set it to broil, left to check something on the comp, realize 10 minutes later that I'd been on for 10 minutes... go and check the pizza and saw that I created dark matter... analyzed it, published the results and got a nobel prize and lots of women and lots of sex.


Edit: Found the pic lol.

https://pic.armedcats.net/l/lu/lurkerpatrol/2011/08/22/0903062153.jpg
 
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