How many races has Clarkson lost? (spoilers)

Bugatti

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2006
Messages
21
Of all the Top Gear races that Clarkson has taken part in, I've only seen him lose 3. He won all the others. Have there been any others he didn't win?

Audi RS4 vs Climbers
Bicycle vs Speedboat vs Public Transport vs Car across London
Car vs Steam Train vs Motorcycle from London to Edinburgh
 
London Marathon course in Fiat Panda vs A J Muir.

There are others I am sure. Rule of thumb I notice is that when one or more of the three go up against someone else they tend to lose. May vs Parkour Guys in Liverpool, Mountain Biker in Lisbon, other cyclists in Budapest; Hammond in Tomcat vs Jet-powered kayak; May and Hammond vs Kristy Rosenberg and fill-sized remote control cars...........
 
I think I'm just waiting for Hammond and May to beat Clarkson together in an epic race. They've never won together, but Hammond won the London one on his bike, and May won in his car against the steam train.
 
James won against Clarkson in the winter olympics special.
 
London Marathon course in Fiat Panda vs A J Muir.

There are others I am sure. Rule of thumb I notice is

Rule of thumb is this :

Jeremy in a car vs James/Richard in public transport : car wins
Any one of the three vs a human doing something silly : car loses

Anything different from the above, and it's anybody's race.
 
Rule of thumb is this :

Jeremy in a car vs James/Richard in public transport : car wins
Any one of the three vs a human doing something silly : car loses

Anything different from the above, and it's anybody's race.

Except when the silly thing is skateboarding down a grassy hill. The car won that one.
 
Last edited:
Except when the silly thing is skateboarding down a grassy hill. The car one that one.

The car lost that one. The specially race-prepped Dakar Rally 4x4 won that one. And TG lost because they posted the video on TG America describing the driver as "the Stig" but forgot to bring his trademark white get-up.
 
S12e04 Economy race to Blackpool Illuminations, Hammond won the race in a VW Polo bluemotion and Jezza was in a Jaaaag. (It was just on the BBC2 regular TG slot here.) :)
 
The car lost that one. The specially race-prepped Dakar Rally 4x4 won that one. And TG lost because they posted the video on TG America describing the driver as "the Stig" but forgot to bring his trademark white get-up.

Seriously? Do you have the link or was it taken down?
 
The car lost that one. The specially race-prepped Dakar Rally 4x4 won that one. And TG lost because they posted the video on TG America describing the driver as "the Stig" but forgot to bring his trademark white get-up.

Okay, a car won, if you're going to split hairs. Anyway, the human doing something silly lost, at least if we're going by the number of seconds it took to get from start to finish.

Also, edited my spelling brain fart in my first post. :-?
 
A little more like...

Epic Race (or, any race that takes up either two segments of an episode, or one full episode) = Car wins.
* Aston Martin DB9 def. train to Monte Carlo (while it was edited to seem close toward the end, it wasn't)

* Ferrari 612 Scaglietti def. plane to Verbier (at one point, James and Richard were ahead; but then Jeremy overtook them on Verbier's high street)

* McLaren-Mercedes SLR def. ferry and powerboats to Oslo (James and Richard ran into some horrendous luck there with the powerboats)

* Bugatti Veyron def. Cessna 182 (flown by James...until he had to land because he couldn't fly at night) and train from Mt. Alba to NatWest Tower in London (very close; at one point, all three were on the same floor, apparently)

* Polar Special = Modified Toyota Hilux (Jeremy and James together; Team G&T) def. dog sled team (Richard with Matty McNair; Team Dog) from Resolute, Nunavut to the 1996 Magnetic North Pole (Team Dog had pulled ahead at one point, I believe, while Team G&T were in the boulder field; but the lead didn't really last)

* Nissan GT-R def. Shinkansen (bullet train) across Japan (Jeremy arrived three minutes, twelve seconds, before the other two)

* Jaguar XK120 (driven by James) def. Tornado A1 train (Jeremy) and Vincent Black Shadow (Richard...who ran into a world of hurt with that thing) from London to Edinburgh; with James and Richard restricted to the A1. (See Wiki...usual caveats, of course.)

For a very obvious reason, I'm not including the Basel-to-Blackpool-on-one-tank race.

Not-So-Epic Race (or, any race that takes up just one segment) = Car loses

* Pigeons def. James in a Ford SportKa with clever sat-nav (which James misprogrammed...go figure!)

* Norwegian Bobsleigh team (with Richard as a brakeman/passenger) def. modified Mitsubishi Evo (with James as a passenger) down the Lillehammer Olympic bobsleigh course

* AC Muir (running) def. Jeremy in a Fiat Panda along the London Marathon course

* Leo Houlding (and friend) def. Jeremy in an Audi RS4 both up and down the Verdon Gorge

* Downhill biker def. James in a Renault Clio on the streets of Portugal

* Motorized kayak def. Richard in a Tomcat in Iceland

* Flying Squirrel guy def. Richard in a Porsche Cayenne in Cyprus

* Parkour boys def. James in a Peugeot 207 on the streets of Liverpool

* The boys, building their own Caterham Seven in Lockheed, def. Stig driving a ready-made one from the factory in Surrey to Lockheed (Stig got nicked by the Fife rozzers!)

* Eurofighter def. Richard in a Bugatti Veyron in a horizontal/vertical drag race

* Richard on a bicycle def. Jeremy in a powerboat, Stig on public transport, and James in a Mercedes GL500 across London (Kew Bridge to London City Airport)

* Graham Boanas def. James in an Alfa Romeo 159 across the Humber River (the former, literally, walked across it; James had to go around, since he couldn't use the then-new bridge)

* BMX bikers def. James in a Fiat 500 across Budapest

* French skiiers def. Richard in an Audi RS6 from Les Arcs to Villaroger (mainly because the latter got lost toward the end)

* Fox hunting pack (with Richard) def. Jeremy in a Daihatsu Terrios (stuck at the River Severn)

* James in a powerboat def. Richard in a Ferrari Daytona from Portofino to St. Tropez

* Royal Mail def. James and Richard in a Porsche Panamera from one end of the UK to the other

If you count the drag race between the Aston Martin V8 Vantage Roadster and the guy on jet-propelled roller skates, this would be the exception to the "Not-So-Epic Race = Car Loses" rule.
 
Last edited:
I had forgotten about the rocket-propelled skater! There's another car winner!

I think the only unbroken rule is that the car wins the epic race. I hope it stays that way.
 
I had forgotten about the rocket-propelled skater! There's another car winner!

I think the only unbroken rule is that the car wins the epic race. I hope it stays that way.

The exception that disproves shellygrl's rule. There had to be one I suppose.
 
S12e04 Economy race to Blackpool Illuminations, Hammond won the race in a VW Polo bluemotion and Jezza was in a Jaaaag. (It was just on the BBC2 regular TG slot here.) :)


Yeah, I forgot about that one. So that makes 4 that I've seen.
 
So it seems we can only write a general rule with exceptions instead of a scientific law. I'm cool with that. Law of averages says the car usually wins the epic race (unless it's in downtown London) and usually looses the silly race. Like all acts of nature there are outliers and statistical deviations.
 
The London traffic race can't be considered epic. It was only a few miles. I'd count it as more of one of those miscellaneous races, same as this season's post race (and possibly the train, because without Jeremy behind the wheel, I'm not sure it can count as epic).

The epic races, IMO, need to be several hundred miles long and pit Jeremy in a car against James and Richard in some form of fast transportation that isn't a car.
 
Top