How to kill the treachorous stig

Blythy

Blythy

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Now that the stig has decided to sell out, and spoil everyones fun. He must be eliminated, and some other faceless unsuccessful racing driver roped in (I vote for Tom Chilton, cos he's not achieved anything, and never will :p)

So, how to kill him?

I think in a caravan, by a skip full of unsold autobiographies... in hardback. (yeah, I stole that one) This guy could give ashley cole a run for his money.

or A mauling by Top Gear Dog.

or Being used as the fodder in one of Hammond's old bus jumping tricks.

or Being dressed up in BBC logos and sent to the daily mail office.

or Being made to race michael schumacher

or the ultimate life long humilation for any racing driver:

Being Ferrari's reserve test driver.
 
Or on all new "serious" Top Gear they simply put a new guy in the same white suit and helmet and say nothing. :p

To re-launch the Stig in a different colour now, as opposed to last time, would cost thousands of pounds now when you think about all the branded merchandise that exists surrounding the white Stig.

Sorry for the slightly bland post but I've decided to spend more time in my sensible trousers.
 
it worked for dr who and the new daleks.... well it didn't, but that's another matter entirely.

They could put a new guy in the suit, and just remark "He looks a bit shorter than last time we saw him" but that'd be a bit shit imo.
 
You say it will cost thousands but actually it could make thousands. Think of all the people that have already brought the white stig doll, the white stig racing cars, the white stig on a rope or the white stig bubble bath.

If you introduce a new colour - I'd vote for green - then those people will now go out and buy a green stig doll, a green stig racing car, a green stig on a rope and a green stig bubble bath - not to mention new t-shirts, hoodies etc.
 
If they really had their thinking hats on, they'd have four stigs, each with a different colour, a bit JLSy, but people would then buy 4 (well, idiots like me might)
 
upyourego said:
You say it will cost thousands but actually it could make thousands. Think of all the people that have already brought the white stig doll, the white stig racing cars, the white stig on a rope or the white stig bubble bath.

If you introduce a new colour - I'd vote for green - then those people will now go out and buy a green stig doll, a green stig racing car, a green stig on a rope and a green stig bubble bath - not to mention new t-shirts, hoodies etc.
Click to expand...

A green Stig?

:hmm:

Some say that he's woven from pure hemp, and that when he breaks wind all he emits is baby foxes, all we know is he's the new, hybrid synergy drive EcoStig
 
upyourego said:
You say it will cost thousands but actually it could make thousands. Think of all the people that have already brought the white stig doll, the white stig racing cars, the white stig on a rope or the white stig bubble bath.

If you introduce a new colour - I'd vote for green - then those people will now go out and buy a green stig doll, a green stig racing car, a green stig on a rope and a green stig bubble bath - not to mention new t-shirts, hoodies etc.
Click to expand...

GREEN? realy? GREEN? as in the treehuggercolour? that focking GREEN?

Some say Cowboy now has steam coming out of his ears........









:p
 
I'm not feeling particularly dumbfounded or spoilered by the Stig's identity revelation, considering white Stig has been played by more than one person. Winter Olympics and Renault F1 lap, Michael Schumacher anyone?
 
you've only got to see all the merchandising that the BBC got out of the new Doctor to see that a new Stig doesn't mean they could lose money.
 
Just put Stig in a Rolce Royce and drive at max speed on the ramp of an aircraft carrier as the usual method of sending Stig off
 
I wonder if the current situation has begun to revive Clarksons thoughts of an early retirement.

I don't think they could kill white Stig, after seven years he has become part of the Top Gear saga, a trademark, a bit like Jameses shirts.

A more plausible outcome would be they simply forget about everything, plus the next series starts in 3 months, just enough for people forget this mess.
 
EvoEvo said:
Maybe he could regenerate like the Doctor. Swishy music, a few special effects... New Stig!
Click to expand...

Good idea!

They take the now empty white suit and helmet to James' 'Man Lab', pop it in a tank of brake fluid, wire it up to a good thunder storm and re-generate the Stig while James yells 'It's alive!!" , Richard turns the big wheel thingy and Jeremy hits the fuse box with a hammer....
 
It's not the Stig we should be going after, but rather the guy playing the character. The best way to handle this is sack him and not even acknowledge it. Put a new driver inside the Stig's armor and carry on as usual.
 
pebblepixie said:
Good idea!

They take the now empty white suit and helmet to James' 'Man Lab', pop it in a tank of brake fluid, wire it up to a good thunder storm and re-generate the Stig while James yells 'It's alive!!" , Richard turns the big wheel thingy and Jeremy hits the fuse box with a hammer....
Click to expand...

You forgot the wearing of bras on heads. It's ceremonial - and traditional.
weirdscience.jpg
 
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