i just lost the girl i love

KaJuN

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Look at it this way, at least you had someone to lose. Nothing seems to be going my way relationship wise for a long while now. One of two things ends up happening. I meet a girl and get to know her. When I think we know each other pretty well I ask her out on just a simple date, but I get turned down for some random reason. It's either that or I'm hanging out with a girl as just friends and right when I think its going to go a little further everything just kinda fizzles out. I'm completely puzzled about how complete jerks always seem to have girls, while I'm going out of my way to be nice and I get nothing out of it.
 

Janus

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LOL, Man this is turning into the Final Gear lonely hearts thread of depression and despair.

PROZAC FOR EVERYONE!!!

 

otispunkmeyer

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cheers for the support guys

been speaking with her....and frm what shes said me and some of my best female friends are confident that she still loves me.

it makes sense, 2 years together....you dont just stop loving someone, the feeling might go, but the loving doesnt.

at the moment, getting back together is the last thing on her mind :( she needs space to think right now. guys are like the last thing she wants.

she still seems pretty confused...i dont know what about..... i asked her if she was happy but at the moment she said she isnt.

i hope that she may come round, im not holding out too much hope.....but i can at least be optimistic here, like i usually am. ill give her a couple of weeks...i'll keep in contact, just so she knows im still alive... something might change.

its pretty impossible to imagine that there is a better girl out there... :( she was definately the one.
 

bone

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Look at it this way, at least you had someone to lose. Nothing seems to be going my way relationship wise for a long while now. One of two things ends up happening. I meet a girl and get to know her. When I think we know each other pretty well I ask her out on just a simple date, but I get turned down for some random reason. It's either that or I'm hanging out with a girl as just friends and right when I think its going to go a little further everything just kinda fizzles out. I'm completely puzzled about how complete jerks always seem to have girls, while I'm going out of my way to be nice and I get nothing out of it.
dude, can you read my mind? that's what's always happening.

i get along great with my boss daughter, i started calling here, she started coming over to my house, tension grows, i make a move, and she turns me down "caus next week she's going on vacation to lloret de mar (spain - kinda like ibiza) and she doesn't want anyone while she's there, caus it never works out when she comes back"

i'm gutted, caus i'm pretty sure it won't work out anyway. but at the same time she so nice, she smiles so cute, and the fucking eye contact is killing me
 

Shawn

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^ Yeah, same with me.

At least you had someone for two years. Might be hard to believe now but be sure that things will end up for the better eventually. Either you'll get back with her or find someone better. I'd give her some space for a week or two and then try and discuss it.

There's definitely something she's not telling you... there just has to be a specific thing that is making her turn away. Try and find out after she calms down I guess.

Good luck in any case!
 

otispunkmeyer

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^ Yeah, same with me.

At least you had someone for two years. Might be hard to believe now but be sure that things will end up for the better eventually. Either you'll get back with her or find someone better. I'd give her some space for a week or two and then try and discuss it.

There's definitely something she's not telling you... there just has to be a specific thing that is making her turn away. Try and find out after she calms down I guess.

Good luck in any case!
no i know what it is....she just doesnt have that feeling anymore. shes a little lost. shes had to deal with quite alot of mental crap for the past few months and im wndering if its jut caught up with her..

first her dad got into difficulty, shes had a lot of nasty bitching n sniping to deal with with cvnts from the speed lifesaving team we are one. shes been totally stressed out about her exams n stuff and with all this.... ive been 150miles away tryig me best to keep her looking up.

the only thing we both dont know is why.....she doesnt know why she feels the way she does, all she knows it thats how she feels.

im starting to think now that as much as i want to get back with her.... if her hearts not in it like it used to be then really its not going to do either of us any favours.

definately just going to leave her be to sort out her head.

i think this must be common with girls....even my gf before last worried about absolutely everything and anything. vicky seems to be doing the same and its getting her head really messed up
 

Devon

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I know this may be a bit left field, but she doesn't have any health issues does she? Like something serious, that she doesn't want to share with you because she doesn't want to put you through the pain of watching her suffer.

May sound stupid, but that's how some people react, it's always a possibility.
 

fbc

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im starting to think now that as much as i want to get back with her.... if her hearts not in it like it used to be then really its not going to do either of us any favours.

definately just going to leave her be to sort out her head.
There's a lot of wisdom in that post - sounds like the best way to handle it.
 

LeMans GTR

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I know this may be a bit left field, but she doesn't have any health issues does she? Like something serious, that she doesn't want to share with you because she doesn't want to put you through the pain of watching her suffer.

May sound stupid, but that's how some people react, it's always a possibility.
Thats not stupid at all, in fact I'm surprised nobody (including me) thought of it before. ;)
 

SuperStalin

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Nothing was on, but what some others here mentioned about some serious illness,
it reminds me of some random movie from the Hallmark channel.

Things that simply don't happen in real life, at least not in the way it's always dramatized on the TV, or in movies.
 

cdbob

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no i know what it is....she just doesnt have that feeling anymore. shes a little lost. shes had to deal with quite alot of mental crap for the past few months and im wndering if its jut caught up with her..

first her dad got into difficulty, shes had a lot of nasty bitching n sniping to deal with with cvnts from the speed lifesaving team we are one. shes been totally stressed out about her exams n stuff and with all this.... ive been 150miles away tryig me best to keep her looking up.

the only thing we both dont know is why.....she doesnt know why she feels the way she does, all she knows it thats how she feels.

im starting to think now that as much as i want to get back with her.... if her hearts not in it like it used to be then really its not going to do either of us any favours.

definately just going to leave her be to sort out her head.

i think this must be common with girls....even my gf before last worried about absolutely everything and anything. vicky seems to be doing the same and its getting her head really messed up
I'm glad to see you understand and respect her so well, I know how it feels I still feel gutted by my breakup that was almost a month and a half ago.
 

oliB

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Look at it this way, at least you had someone to lose. Nothing seems to be going my way relationship wise for a long while now. One of two things ends up happening. I meet a girl and get to know her. When I think we know each other pretty well I ask her out on just a simple date, but I get turned down for some random reason. It's either that or I'm hanging out with a girl as just friends and right when I think its going to go a little further everything just kinda fizzles out. I'm completely puzzled about how complete jerks always seem to have girls, while I'm going out of my way to be nice and I get nothing out of it.
You don't have to be a jerk, but "going out of your way to be nice" isn't going to help you in any way. Women won't be attracted to you if you act like a wuss. (No offence) This goes back to what SuperStalin said, keep her guessing, tease her, don't be predictive, don't act needy, don't kiss up to her. While it may not sound right or logical, it's true. If you have time to kill, read "The Game" by Neill Strauss. It's entertaining and you'll learn something.

@otispunkmeyer:
I've been there before and I know what SuperStalin is saying is not what you want to hear right now. He is right though, maybe you'll see it in couple of weeks time. Women are plentiful and obsessing over a single one is not helping.
 

Amanaman

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I must admit I can relate, although I'm not entirely sure what is happening at the moment. Basically, the ex wanted her back but she swore blindly that she didn't want it, but he still persisted. This led to a misunderstanding between us as I apparently applied too much pressure, which led to her thinking we should have a break. I didn't take to this very well, which led to more upset and now I have basically been blocked from all contact.

And yet I seem to be feeling completely numb about it, most likely since any thinking about it just makes me :(

Hope things improve for you otispunkmeyer.
 
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otispunkmeyer

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You don't have to be a jerk, but "going out of your way to be nice" isn't going to help you in any way. Women won't be attracted to you if you act like a wuss. (No offence) This goes back to what SuperStalin said, keep her guessing, tease her, don't be predictive, don't act needy, don't kiss up to her. While it may not sound right or logical, it's true. If you have time to kill, read "The Game" by Neill Strauss. It's entertaining and you'll learn something.

@otispunkmeyer:
I've been there before and I know what SuperStalin is saying is not what you want to hear right now. He is right though, maybe you'll see it in couple of weeks time. Women are plentiful and obsessing over a single one is not helping.
think you just nailed it there..... women are rarely logical in certain states.

i remember when me n her were out one night, drunk, havign a good time and she misplaced her purse, though there is also a high chance it was pinched (loughborough is full of twoc'ers)

she as in a complete flap, i had to chase her out the club because she just bolted for the door. i was like just calm down its not the end of the world....

even though i was drunk, i seem to able to work around that and focus seriously on something. we got in, i phoned up her bank, cancelled her cards and that was that. crisis over. but she didnt see it that way till morning.

its really wierd because i was on the phone to her last night, and we were talking just like we always used to.

i spoke to a good friend of mine, tim, who is also a good friend of vicky's, she'd phoned him a week ago in tears about what she should do. he seems to get the impression that all the stress, coupled with seeing the same people all time, and without me there....is the reason she lost the feeling. makes sense...but then again guys always make sense.

i think i had of had time to go see her in the last 6 weeks of term it would of been ok. but for reasons out of my control that just wasnt possible.

ill wait a week or two, till shes calmed down and just ask her why, and give my POV. i didnt give her it at the time because girls in that state almost never listen to a word you say. hopefully she may be willing to give it another go...for longer... (only if it turns out distance and lack of physically being there is the culprit)

you are also correct about hanging over one girl, i know you are rigth, but i dont go out with a girl for 2 years just because i like her lol.....its gonna be pretty hard to not think of her all the time for a while because i still love her, but i guess i will eventally learn to just move on.

still need to sort out her bday present (for the 25th) she spent a fair bit on me, so id like to return the favour (as a friend)

bit wierd i should mention moving on, as much as i really dont want to....i know its for the best, and i guess subconciously my mind knows this too, because i was quite mesmorised by a girl at the gym yesterday and i got the perfect chance to introduce myself as well.

she left her gym card on the floor, not knowing whos it was i picked it up and just looked around for someone who looked like this girl on the photo....turns out it was this girls who i'd eye'd up during the muscle endurance class.... her names moira which is a pretty fucking cool name.

thats all i found out like, she was in a hurry to get off somewhere as was i because i wanted to get back for the F1. ill introduce my self more formally i think, next time i see her. not sure how old she is like....she drives a mini cooper so she's etiher older with a decent job, or daddy paid for it.

i feel so wrong looking at other girls already :( but if in a few weeks i find its pretty much set that me n vicky are over for good...well i might as well meet new girls.

heh i think my mind is abit messed up now as well. got a good laugh out of my mate who says that he always makes himself better with a fat chick:lol:


again, cheers everyone for the support.... i owe you guys some beers!
 

Wooptidoop

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I only read the first page of this thread, so sorry if I'm barging into a discussion, but I just want to tell you that I had a two year relationship which I stopped in mostly the same way as your girlfriend. I simply wanted time for myself, I got a part-time job and started reading a lot. I just didn't want the burden of a relationship anymore. It might sound a bit strange, I know, but I made a cold calculation to leave this girl, which I did, and there was no way to explain to her that she was perfect for me in one stage of my life, but that now I'm moving on. Not onto other girls, but onto other things.
She was devastated. She couldn't understand. And I couldn't explain. I just packed my shit and left...

Maybe that's what happened to you, and if it did, don't sweat it, it really isn't your fault. Don't let your self esteem suffer because of it. Change is usually good, it pushes you to upgrade yourself as a person, which is good in the long run.

Again, sorry if all this sounds a bit condescending and Dr.Phill-like. I just thought it might make you feel better to hear my experience.

Cheers!
 

otispunkmeyer

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I only read the first page of this thread, so sorry if I'm barging into a discussion, but I just want to tell you that I had a two year relationship which I stopped in mostly the same way as your girlfriend. I simply wanted time for myself, I got a part-time job and started reading a lot. I just didn't want the burden of a relationship anymore. It might sound a bit strange, I know, but I made a cold calculation to leave this girl, which I did, and there was no way to explain to her that she was perfect for me in one stage of my life, but that now I'm moving on. Not onto other girls, but onto other things.
She was devastated. She couldn't understand. And I couldn't explain. I just packed my shit and left...

Maybe that's what happened to you, and if it did, don't sweat it, it really isn't your fault. Don't let your self esteem suffer because of it. Change is usually good, it pushes you to upgrade yourself as a person, which is good in the long run.

Again, sorry if all this sounds a bit condescending and Dr.Phill-like. I just thought it might make you feel better to hear my experience.

Cheers!
thanks for the insight, it could be similar

maybe having someone else to worry and care about really is just too much for her right now given the load on her mind. she needs some space to think abotu what the hell is going on with herself.

still let me tell you its still a totally gutting experience no matter how headstrong you can be. i can put on a brave face but, in the back of my mind i know its killing me.

do you think its right that i take interest in other girls already? well really its not just girls....more people in general. yeah i have some good friends but right now i feel like just meeting new people just out of something interesting to do. infact if i met any of my old friends it'd be like meeting new people becuase i have never seen them in ages.

this is the bad thing about these times though, i didnt ignore my friends to spend more time with vicky, its just that all the friends i currently keep are difficult to contact, on holiday, miles away or dont have time right now and all my old forgotten friends who may well be within walking distance i havent been intouch with for some considerable time.

i guess it really is worth the time and effort to keep contacts.

this is the worst
 

Wooptidoop

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There will come a time when you'll think it was great she left you, because if she hadn't all the great things wouldn't happen to you that will happen to you.
Its not so much that time heals the wounds as much as that your perception changes and you are forced to try something new. And the experience of succeeding in this new thing is usually most gratifying.

So, chin up! In the long run, it always works out for everyone who wants it.
 

thedguy

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My A.D.D kicked in and I didn't read the thread (thats my excuse and I'm sticking to it!)
I hope I don't get banned for this:




























































I guess you'll be doing a lot of this now :D



If that don't cheer you up, I don't know what will.
 
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