I've just invented a new type of traffic camera...

GTV V6

GTV V6

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 20, 2004
Messages
842
Location
Barcelona, Spain
Car(s)
Audi TT V6, Skoda Octavia vRS NX
I call it TWATCAM, named after some twat I saw this morning...

On my way to work I have to get off the motorway at a junction, there is always a queue, but most people wait patiently in line to get on the slip road.

My problem is that there is always a group of special people who need to get on the slip road faster than everyone else, so what they do is drive past the queue then try to push in at the last minute, stopping in the adjacent lane until someone lets them in.

This, predictably causes apoplexy in the cars arriving behind him, often at some speed. I've seen a semi trailer lock up all wheels on the trailer to avoid a Megane that was trying this on a few weeks ago.

So I'd like to propose a camera, this should take fotos of the people who try this and fine them for dangerous driving.

Here's a drawing ...

TWATCAM.png
 
Sometimes it's not a question of being a Twat, more like not knowing the road and the exits. Happened to me a couple of times, driving on the road looking for the off-ramp, then when I found it there's this huge line of traffic. Too late to stand on the end of the line, only option is to try and squeeze my way into the line.
 
Nice idea but we have tons of cameras filming such shenanigans on the motorway network in Ukania.

They don't actually do anything to the twats concerned except humiliate them on TV when they sell job lots of footage to TV production companies. Occasionally a film crew accompanying some policemen on patrol get some footage of some arsehole being told he is an arsehole but that's mainly PR and nothing really to do with law enforcement.

I simply work on the principle that everyone else on the road is a twat and likely to prove it imminently. I'm proven right just about every time I get in the car.
 
I've had to do it occasionally in foreign lands/cities where I have no idea where the exit is. Done it at my first visit to DisneyWorld in Orlando. Didn't know that, at 8am in the morning, the super long line was for Animal Kingdom.
 
Pedrocas said:
Sometimes it's not a question of being a Twat, more like not knowing the road and the exits. Happened to me a couple of times, driving on the road looking for the off-ramp, then when I found it there's this huge line of traffic. Too late to stand on the end of the line, only option is to try and squeeze my way into the line.
Click to expand...

no, most of the time it's knowing the road too well, and knowing you'll be waiting for 15mins if you line up...
i've been guilty of this action as well...

i don't care who of the persons behind me thinks i'm a twat, at least i'm in front!
 
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You get a sixth sense about them if you drive long enough and enough miles. You can sense by the way they are driving and what they are driving that they are going to demonstrate road twatery any time now. ...

There are some obvious ones - avoid Eastern European artics driven by people who have been brought up in countries where road users are certifyable and hence are driven on that basis, and where the Police are less than zealous about making sure that the vehicle is in serviceable condition.

There are other obvious ones - Audis, all suspicious. BMWs because some people have not as yet got an Audi to be a twat in. Anyone driving in a hat - any one driving a small car with dents and bangs all over it and look 14 years of age. Very old man in very old car and triby hat pulling out of a side road straight in front of you (aka Bournemouth special).

There are loads more. ...
 
Pedrocas said:
Too late to stand on the end of the line, only option is to try and squeeze my way into the line.
Click to expand...

There is another option - live with your mistake and drive on. Potentially getting a lorry up your bum isn't worth it.
 
narf said:
There is another option - live with your mistake and drive on. Potentially getting a lorry up your bum isn't worth it.
Click to expand...

This is what I prefer to do. A while ago, I missed a turn due to driving past a queue of traffic that I didn't realise was going the way I wanted to go. Instead of blocking the remaining lane of traffic to wait for someone to let me in I drove on and turned down a side street, did a U-turn and rejoined the traffic the other way. Thanks to the queues and timing of the traffic lights I actually ended up ahead of where I would have been had I joined the queue.
 
bone said:
no, most of the time it's knowing the road too well, and knowing you'll be waiting for 15mins if you line up...
i've been guilty of this action as well...

i don't care who of the persons behind me thinks i'm a twat, at least i'm in front!
Click to expand...

except half the time it happens here is because of dicks pulling that exact move
 
bone said:
no, most of the time it's knowing the road too well, and knowing you'll be waiting for 15mins if you line up...
i've been guilty of this action as well...

i don't care who of the persons behind me thinks i'm a twat, at least i'm in front!
Click to expand...

Company car huh? Typical.....
 
Hbriz said:
This is what I prefer to do. A while ago, I missed a turn due to driving past a queue of traffic that I didn't realise was going the way I wanted to go. Instead of blocking the remaining lane of traffic to wait for someone to let me in I drove on and turned down a side street, did a U-turn and rejoined the traffic the other way.
Click to expand...

I've had to observe a case of what not to do when you miss your turn a while ago. I was turning left off the B76 following the blue line, and am standing at the lights where the circle is. A guy in an old Corsa is standing at the lights to the right of me where the other circle is. My lights only allow left, his lights only allow straight. His goes green a bit before mine, he sets off and turns left :shakefist: without him the road I'm turning on to would be empty, now it's full of mad Corsa.

 
bone said:
i don't care who of the persons behind me thinks i'm a twat, at least i'm in front!
Click to expand...

That sort of makes you a real twat now, doesn't it?
 
Cobol74 said:
You get a sixth sense about them if you drive long enough and enough miles. You can sense by the way they are driving and what they are driving that they are going to demonstrate road twatery any time now. ...
Click to expand...
*nod* You can tell by the car's behavior if it's "lost" or "twat". Well, the "twat" may end up detecting "twat and lost", but they're still a twat. The car who drives aggressively, quickly, coming up behind, making frequent lane changes, then slips into the lane at the last moment, is a twat. The car who moves at a reasonable pace for traffic, seems to look at signs carefully, and suddenly panics and turns on a signal is lost. Should they go on to the next exit and turn around and come back? Generally. Is that always a feasible option? No. Sometimes it'd be extremely difficult and confusing to navigate back to where you want to go after missing an exit like that. As a result, I have some sympathy for the "lost" person. But the twat? None at all.
 
Here's a video I made on Friday to illustrate the issue...

[video=youtube;I1g2-6aKpkQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1g2-6aKpkQ[/video]

If you don't want to watch through the whole thing, here are some highlights...

0:44 In the queue, passing the 1km signs.
1:02 Silver Audi, pops out of the queue and 400m down the road pops back in again.
1:50 white van pops out of the queue and jumps back in again
4:11 half km sign
5:00, with only 200m to go, the road marks change, 3 cars decide they are special cases and are allowed to jump the queue, a black Opel or Dacia (not sure), an Audi A4 and a Ford Fiesta.

This lot have had well over 1 km to think, "Oh shit, this is my turn off, I need to get in the right lane"
The alternative is that they are TWATS, and would be nicely fined by my new camera.

Also, Cobol 74's right, when you are in the queue, you can tell who's going to try to shove in, I must admit I have an incredibly low tolerance for people who try to do this and end up leaning on the horn if they try to get in in front of me, but then again, I drive an Audi, so by definition I am a twat too :p
 
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While I don't want to turn this into a spin-off of the Stupid Driver Stories thread, my Mum had this kind of thing happen to her today.

She was waiting in a line of traffic, at a red light, at a cross-roads when an SUV of some description went around the line of traffic on the wrong side of the road to then jump back in to the already moving traffic as the light had just turned green. It then apparently went on to tailgate the car in front all the way up the road.

I've never seen this before, what on earth makes people think this is a good idea? We don't get a massive amount of traffic in our town, but this cross-roads is probably one of the busiest and used to be well known for accidents before it was re-designed (some say it should've been a roundabout and I'm inclined to agree). Nutters, nutters everywhere.
 
There's construction near my house where the left lane closes as you approach an intersection, where only 1 lane goes through, becuse the other is reserved for re-rounted on-coming traffic.

I've developed a strategy where I straddle the center line as long as I can, to at least block people from going ALL the way up to the front.

It's not like people are getting "trapped" unless they are not paying attention, as right in the middle of the lane that is closing, there's a 5ft tall, bright orance "LANE CLOSED" sign that would block your passage. The trick is, when some douche or queesh (a word I've invented which is a female "douche"...which is kind of a funny concept, anwyays...) tries to sneak around, they've just blocked the signage, so then a line builds up behind them of drivers who had no idea the lane was ending.
 
equiraptor said:
*nod* You can tell by the car's behavior if it's "lost" or "twat". Well, the "twat" may end up detecting "twat and lost", but they're still a twat. The car who drives aggressively, quickly, coming up behind, making frequent lane changes, then slips into the lane at the last moment, is a twat. The car who moves at a reasonable pace for traffic, seems to look at signs carefully, and suddenly panics and turns on a signal is lost. Should they go on to the next exit and turn around and come back? Generally. Is that always a feasible option? No. Sometimes it'd be extremely difficult and confusing to navigate back to where you want to go after missing an exit like that. As a result, I have some sympathy for the "lost" person. But the twat? None at all.
Click to expand...
Excellent description of a twat(inherent stupidity and thoughtlessness) vs the slightly confused.
 
just like running red lights, some suburbs are far worse for this than others.


I seriously wonder how much traffic is actually caused by wankers doing this
 
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