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Jeremy Clarkson on the 407

SL65

Ambitious but rubbish!
Joined
Jul 12, 2004
Messages
9,325
Location
Sydney, Australia
Car(s)
1998 Subaru Legacy 2.5L
"you?d have to be fairly mad to buy this car" - JC on the 407
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A couple of weeks ago my colleague AA Gill apologised to the nation for saying that Oman was on the edge of the Sahara desert. And then berated those who?d had the temerity to point out his mistake. Apparently when he gets letters saying he?s ballsed up he laughs at them.
I don?t. When I get a letter from a reader saying I?ve made a factual error my first reaction is rage. Then righteous indignation. And then, when my blood has cooled down a bit, I?m overwhelmed with a new emotion. Guilt: deep, tail between the legs, nose crinkling, hide under the furniture embarrassment.

Every week I come here with my tail feathers sticking up and proud. And it?s a bit of a bubble burster when someone points out that I haven?t checked my facts. That?s like strutting around with a telltale wet patch on the front of your trousers.

That said, I recently wrote a piece saying that the Mercedes SL has air suspension and a chap called Khushal Khan wrote to say that it doesn?t. He?s right of course. But if I?d said it uses electrohydraulics then I would have sounded boring. And I?d rather be wrong than dull. :lol:

Because in the big scheme of things, when I make a mistake, especially one I?ve made on purpose, the world keeps on turning.

Mistakes are a strange phenomenon. Because if a television presenter makes a mistake while on camera he?ll get a ?200 cheque from It?ll Be Alright on the Night. However, if a doctor inadvertently makes a mistake while in the operating theatre, trust me on this, Denis Norden won?t barge through the door with a clipboard and invite us to watch the ?hilarious? clip again in slow motion. ?And look at the patient when he starts to convulse, people.?

Once I invited a workman round for a swim in my pool. And that was fine. But when Michael Barrymore did exactly the same thing he had to leave his job and move to New Zealand.

But here?s my point. It?s now unlikely Michael will ever again invite anyone round for a splosh. What?s more, after a poke in the eye from a reader two weeks ago I have now stopped referring to electrohydraulic or oleopneumatic suspension as ?air?.

This is because we?re human, and humans learn from their mistakes. What?s more, so do animals. Give a rat a choice of two tunnels, one of which leads to food and the other to an electric shock, and eventually he?ll learn which is which. Peugeot, however, doesn?t seem to be that clever.

When I first started writing about cars, the little 205 GTi was pretty much king of the hill. Volkswagen?s Golf was falling off the rails, and as a result many switched to the wonderful French buzz-bomb. In a flash Peugeot went from being the maker of unbreakable taxis for the people of west Africa to the must-have accessory in booming Britain, as important as a Diana hair-do and a job doing something meaningless in the City.

Flushed with this success, the company kept on going, making a stunning four-wheel-drive version of the 406, which was named after a machinegun (it wasn?t, I?m using hyperbole) and went like one too. And then the tiny 106 GTi, which gave me one of the most memorable drives I?ve ever had. Flat out from Carcassonne over the Pyrenees. Great part of the world. Great car.

And then they made a mistake. They decided to stop making exciting cars, a move that culminated in the arrival of the 607, surely the most dreary and underwhelming device in the history of mechanised transport. It wasn?t like they?d gone back to their roots, making simple, tough cars to survive the simple, tough continent of Africa. It was as if they?d just given up altogether. It was like the Who releasing an album of humming.

You?d think that having failed so spectacularly they?d be keen to impress next time around, but they haven?t. Examining the current Peugeot range is a bit like examining John Major?s sock drawer. An endless grey world featuring nothing you would even want to steal.

The 107 is a Toyota, the 1007 is a joke, the 307 has the stand-out qualities of someone in a witness protection scheme, the 407 is the sort of car you might buy because you forgot you already had one, and the 807 would be the nastiest car in the world were it not for the aforementioned 607. I hardly ever bother reviewing these cars because I can?t for the life of me think why anyone might be interested. Whether you want excitement, robustness, practicality, design flair, economy, speed, quality or just a set of wheels, you can do better somewhere else.

But then along came the 407 Coup? and I thought, a-ha, here at last is a Peugeot that someone might want. Because you?ve got expensive coup?s from BMW and Mercedes and then not much else. Honda has dropped its Prelude. Toyota is about to abandon the Celica. Vauxhall never replaced the Calibra and Ford sold William Hague a Cougar then axed that too.

So what?s left? Well there?s the Mazda RX-8, which is jolly good if you don?t mind spending as much on oil as you do on petrol, :lol: and that?s about it. Yes, I thought, Peugeot has woken up at long last. It?s seen a niche. The 407 Coup? will be excellent.

I was wrong. The first problem is the price. The GT HDi V6 version I drove costs a simply staggering ?30,900 and then they have the bare-faced effrontery to whack on another ?350 for metallic paint. This means the Peugeot costs about the same as a BMW 330 or a Porsche Boxster. :shock: It also means it costs a whopping ?8,000 more than the Mazda RX-8. So it had better be good.

It isn?t. The distance between the front wheels and the front of the car is about 18ft (I?m exaggerating again), which gives the impression that you?re looking at an anteater with a Peugeot sticking out of its bottom. That?s certainly striking but I?m not sure it?ll catch on.

Inside, things get worse. There?s nothing to make you feel special. Oh, there?s plenty of equipment and space but there?s nothing to make you go ?wow?. And it?s the same story when you put your foot down.

Yes, the big diesel drops lumps of torque into the mix but torque doesn?t blow my ears off. Torque is what you get in an evenly matched rugby scrum. There?s lots of grunt in there, but from the outside nothing appears to be happening. So it gives the car a lazy feel, like it?s never really stretching its legs.

Perhaps it can?t. The 407 Coup? weighs a significant 2 tons, and you can see why when you open one of the doors. They?re so heavy I began to imagine that they might have been made out of Anne Diamond.

To see if I was missing anything I went on the Peugeot website and asked to look at the car in action. But to do that you have to register ? presumably so they can offer you a bigger penis at some later stage ? and then you are allowed to see exclusive content such as videos and, wait for it, an interview with the product manager. :lmao:

Who would do that? Who would go to the bother of giving a big company all their personal details just so they can see someone from middle management talking a load of middle management bollocks. You?d have to be clinically insane, but then you?d have to be fairly mad to buy this car.

Yes, it?s extremely smooth and comfortable, but that?s like having two Jacks in a hand full of low clubs. You?re still going to lose.

I fear then they?re not making this car because they saw a niche. I suspect they?re making it because they?ve always made 2+2 coup?s. And they couldn?t be bothered to stop.

Yet another fantastic article by Jezza :D I much prefer these articles on crappy cars rather than cars we already know are good...its much more entertaining!

The 407 is big fat POS IMO. Its got that grin on its face which spoils anything for me. Also its French so it won't be reliable...

I prefer the old 405. That was cooler and probably alot better in comparison to the competition than the 407 is now. And what about the price of it! I'd much prefer a 330i than this!!
 
i like how it looks, and the the link is title "607" instead of "407"
 
Toyota is about to abandon the Celica.

ohhhhh dear Mr. or should i say Dr. Clarkson made yet another mistake :p

whats his email address so i can tell him? :D (im serious)
 
I cringe whenever I see a 407 Coupe and think they replaced the gorgeous 406 Coupe with that?!?! :bangin:
 
A couple of weeks ago my colleague AA Gill apologised to the nation for saying that Oman was on the edge of the Sahara desert. And then berated those who?d had the temerity to point out his mistake. Apparently when he gets letters saying he?s ballsed up he laughs at them.

Anyone know what the Oman article was?
 
bartboy9891 said:
i like how it looks, and the the link is title "607" instead of "407"
lol thanks...changed :)

p0w3r said:
Toyota is about to abandon the Celica.

ohhhhh dear Mr. or should i say Dr. Clarkson made yet another mistake :p

whats his email address so i can tell him? :D (im serious)
I tried looking for it along time ago. Check the Times website...
 
SL65AMG~V12~612BHP!!!!!!! said:
bartboy9891 said:
p0w3r said:
Toyota is about to abandon the Celica.

ohhhhh dear Mr. or should i say Dr. Clarkson made yet another mistake :p

whats his email address so i can tell him? :D (im serious)
I tried looking for it along time ago. Check the Times website...

DUH! :wall:

i can be retarded at times....

anyways heres what i wrote:

Mr....or should i say Dr. Clarkson,

I have seen that you have made an error on your article on the Peugeot 407 Coup? which seems to be yet another one of your favorite cars. In all seriousness though, you mentioned that "Toyota is about to abandon the Celica." If you check your facts, would would have known that Toyota stopped making the Celica in 2005. So yes, you are about 3 months off. Now this cant be one of your "rather be wrong than dull" mistakes...so I'm aure you will find another great excuse.

Bubble burster and huge fan,
Dennis

Just to be safe, if your rage state gets serious...I'm located in the United States...which you promised never to set your foot in again.

Wonder if he would respond? :p
 
p0w3r said:
DUH! :wall:

i can be retarded at times....

anyways heres what i wrote:

Mr....or should i say Dr. Clarkson,

I have seen that you have made an error on your article on the Peugeot 407 Coup? which seems to be yet another one of your favorite cars. In all seriousness though, you mentioned that "Toyota is about to abandon the Celica." If you check your facts, would would have known that Toyota stopped making the Celica in 2005. So yes, you are about 3 months off. Now this cant be one of your "rather be wrong than dull" mistakes...so I'm aure you will find another great excuse.

Bubble burster and huge fan,
Dennis

Just to be safe, if your rage state gets serious...I'm located in the United States...which you promised never to set your foot in again.

Wonder if he would respond? :p
Be sure to let us know what he says :D
 
Umm...the Celica is still available in the UK. True it's already gone here in the states, but I have a hunch his target audiance are the petrol heads in England, so it's not a mistake for him to say 'about to abbandon', at least for the UK.
 
TWAT made a mistake again, they never made 4 wheel drive 406's, it was the 405!!

someone email him again lmao
 
YF19pilot said:
Umm...the Celica is still available in the UK. True it's already gone here in the states, but I have a hunch his target audiance are the petrol heads in England, so it's not a mistake for him to say 'about to abbandon', at least for the UK.
but all sites state that toyota stopped producing the celica July of last year.

hmm gotta look into this :|
 
fbc said:
I cringe whenever I see a 407 Coupe and think they replaced the gorgeous 406 Coupe with that?!?! :bangin:

^ this times 50. The 406 Coupe was literally sex on wheels, as long as it was in the right colours and not dirty, like every second one of 'em in France seemed to be.


Also, anyone see the Bugatti Veyron / McLaren F1 comparison on there?
 
teeb said:
fbc said:
I cringe whenever I see a 407 Coupe and think they replaced the gorgeous 406 Coupe with that?!?! :bangin:

^ this times 50. The 406 Coupe was literally sex on wheels, as long as it was in the right colours and not dirty, like every second one of 'em in France seemed to be.


Also, anyone see the Bugatti Veyron / McLaren F1 comparison on there?

from that article you posted
The Veyron is that car. VW?s chances of recouping Pi?ch?s huge investment are the same as seeing Jeremy Clarkson in a tutu.
:lol:
 
The 107 is a Toyota, the 1007 is a joke, the 307 has the stand-out qualities of someone in a witness protection scheme, the 407 is the sort of car you might buy because you forgot you already had one, and the 807 would be the nastiest car in the world were it not for the aforementioned 607.

That was literary castration. hahaha :lol:
 
A mate's Dad owns a 607. Biggest POS EVER!!! It's only 3 years old and nearly every electrical thing has failed, ABS has failed ten, yes, ten times, windows, air con, seats, morrors, radio, trip computer the list goes on. Oh, and the rear lion has been stolen.

Bloody French.
 
watto said:
A mate's Dad owns a 607. Biggest POS EVER!!! It's only 3 years old and nearly every electrical thing has failed, ABS has failed ten, yes, ten times, windows, air con, seats, morrors, radio, trip computer the list goes on. Oh, and the rear lion has been stolen.

Bloody French.

OH NO not that!!!!!! :shock: :lol:
 
p0w3r said:
YF19pilot said:
Umm...the Celica is still available in the UK. True it's already gone here in the states, but I have a hunch his target audiance are the petrol heads in England, so it's not a mistake for him to say 'about to abbandon', at least for the UK.
but all sites state that toyota stopped producing the celica July of last year.

hmm gotta look into this :|

That would probably be something to look into. I just popped onto Toyota's UK site, and it still had the Celica listed for sale. Could be they're still selling what's left over.
 
VUK said:
TWAT made a mistake again, they never made 4 wheel drive 406's, it was the 405!!

someone email him again lmao
:lol: Stop finding mistakes in his articles...we don't want to change Clarkson do we.

Remember what he said in his article: "I'd rather be wrong than boring" :lol:
 
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