Kill a dream

Granted, but it is so cold that it is frozen.

I wish I had all this work done.
 
Granted. And it's all done incorrectly, so you have to start all over again.

I wish you'd come and do my work.
 
Granted
Drop *

(whoops)



I wish that I had more useful knowledge
 
Granted you know everything about acting in a porn movie.

I wish it was breakup already.
 
Granted. Unfortunately, due to a very strange seismological and weather related events, your house and vehicles have somehow become situated on a very delicate and precarious ice sheet and unstable ground. With the first breakup crack, the ground falls free from underneath your possessions, and a vast sinkhole opens up. It is too dangerous to retrieve anything, so you can now only watch as the cracks continue to spread.

I wish that this wasn't it.
 
Granted instead it becomes Team Godzilla and Bubba.

I wish I was from a more intelligent planet.
 
Granted. You now live in a world populated by highly intellectual aliens. However, you're still of the same intelligence as you are right now. Therefore, you begin to feel extremely isolated and marginalised as the aliens label you a special needs person.

I wish I was Elzar the Neptunian chef.
 
Granted. Unfortunately you have just been convicted of an unspeakable act and must now face the consequences of an extremely painful and undignified punishment that shall not be detailed here for fear of sending all those that read it, insane.

I wish that I could find what I was looking for.
 
Granted. But since I don't know what it is you'll have to do with whatever I have in my pocket instead :wicked:

I wish Amazon wouldn't continually screw things up.
 
Granted. It was the Swiss instead.

I wish there were no mosquitoes
 
Granted they are replace with flying leeches.

I wish that I could see Russia from my house.
 
Granted. You live in Russia. Soviet Russia.

I wish that I didn't have a pen-chewing habit.
 
Granted but now you are a glass sucking crack smoker.

I wish I could help Paperbiro with his new Crack addiction.
 
Granted, but you do it by getting me addicted to heroin instead.

Tell you what, that heroin is really moreish.

I wish I had more heroin. :p
 
Granted RIP

I wish I could attend PaperBiro's funeral, so sad.
 
Granted, but then I come back as a zombie and start dancing to Thriller.

I wish zombies all danced to Thriller.
 
Granted You did not feel a thing when the blade from the guillotine cut your head off.

I wish I was there when neutron got his head cut off.
 
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